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My wife and I are always fighting about Christmas just like my Mom and Dad used to do 20 years ago.
She wants me to travel 100s of miles and make nice with relatives who don't like us and we don't like them and spend tons of money on gifts. Now that the Holiday Season is being promoted in the stores already (One store was promoting Christmas in many displays in mid September), all my wife can talk about is buying Christmas gifts. Just like my mother did when I was a kid. She would spend a fortune on people she did not like and try to impress everyone with stories about how much time she devoted to Christmas shopping. My wife is a clone of my mother and does the same thing. Both disliked the relatives we bought gifts for but hated the idea of not spending the time and money on the gifts.
Anyone near divorce because of Christmas (or the politically correct term "The Holiday Season")?
You and your wife need to work out a Christmas budget and stick to it. If she wants to blow her share of it on family you don't like, just let her. As for the dreaded trip: compromise. Go where she wants to every other year. Stay home on the alternate years. And just get beyond it. No one agrees on everything.
My wife and I are always fighting about Christmas just like my Mom and Dad used to do 20 years ago.
She wants me to travel 100s of miles and make nice with relatives who don't like us and we don't like them and spend tons of money on gifts. Now that the Holiday Season is being promoted in the stores already (One store was promoting Christmas in many displays in mid September), all my wife can talk about is buying Christmas gifts. Just like my mother did when I was a kid. She would spend a fortune on people she did not like and try to impress everyone with stories about how much time she devoted to Christmas shopping. My wife is a clone of my mother and does the same thing. Both disliked the relatives we bought gifts for but hated the idea of not spending the time and money on the gifts.
Anyone near divorce because of Christmas (or the politically correct term "The Holiday Season")?
This is classic.
Whether you realize or not, you chose to marry a women just like your mother.
You likely did this for 2 reasons, because it feels familiar and because on a very deep level this is your chance to resolve your childhood frustration and hurt over the conflict in your family of origin.
Some sessions with a therapist would do you a world of good, and give you the tools which would enable you to move foreward in a positive way with your wife.
Actually, yes. I was dating and living with this guy and Christmas came around. Because I am a generous type I spent a lot on him. I bought him a sweater, a T shirt with a funny saying and a bunch of other things. Guess what he got me? broken toys he found at a garage sale and several books about this singing group he KNEW I hated. I cried, then I moved out.
[SIZE=5]North Beach Person[/SIZE]
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
9,369 posts, read 6,634,181 times
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I will spend tomorrow dreading Friday. That's when the normally well-balanced and placid Mrs. NBP turns into the Christmas Elf From Hell. Lights, music, holly, special decorations for each of the kids to put on the tree (which will become priority one to get in and up), etc.
And people wonder why I spend most of the month in a goose blind located in a cell phone dead zone (it took me a long time to find the location).
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