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Old 10-08-2012, 12:09 AM
 
44 posts, read 209,950 times
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I just finished communicating with a woman I hope to see sometime next week by text. Then I looked at all of the dates I have been on this year, and I told myself "I did not call any of them to set anything up, I basically communicated with them through text". I'm in my late 20's so I wouldn't say I am old school. However, I remember back in high school and in college, actually calling girls and having these long conversations at night that lasted over 4 hours or more. It was so exciting. I do not think the term "flake" was a common word when it came to dating back then. I think the main reason why women flake and avoid dates at alarming rates these days is because of attraction level. You really can't get a woman to be completely attracted to you if you just communicate by sending texts. There is just something different now.

Has communication by SMS replaced communication over the phone? Do you think this change has made dating more of a numbers game? What I mean is back then, by talking to a woman over the phone for hours, there was a slim chance one will be stood up. These days since everyone has smartphones and mobile devices women can simply get out of a date whenever they feel like it for whatever reason and without a care in the word since they really dont know the person they are dating.
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:14 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,580,565 times
Reputation: 16395
I always hated talking on the phone, and I'm in my late 20s as well. Other people I knew had those loooong conversations on the phone growing up but mine were always super short and to the point, I never sat on the phone for hours with friends. Of course, I only had a few friends and none were that close so that could be part of it.

I guess I just think phone conversations should be short and to the point, talking in person is much better. Texting is better for me as well because I can continue doing what I need to do without having to suspend everything and talk for a long time.
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:14 AM
 
Location: NYC
2,427 posts, read 3,976,661 times
Reputation: 2299
so are you concerned about the demise of phone conversation or the increase in your chances of getting stood up?

i for one welcome our new sms overlords. i can't understand how I used to talk on the phone for so long as a teenager. it seems alien to me now
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:15 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,400,248 times
Reputation: 4958
Quote:
Originally Posted by DipGrant View Post
I just finished communicating with a woman I hope to see sometime next week by text. Then I looked at all of the dates I have been on this year, and I told myself "I did not call any of them to set anything up, I basically communicated with them through text". I'm in my late 20's so I wouldn't say I am old school. However, I remember back in high school and in college, actually calling girls and having these long conversations at night that lasted over 4 hours or more. It was so exciting. I do not think the term "flake" was a common word when it came to dating back then. I think the main reason why women flake and avoid dates at alarming rates these days is because of attraction level. You really can't get a woman to be completely attracted to you if you just communicate by sending texts. There is just something different now.

Has communication by SMS replaced communication over the phone? Do you think this change has made dating more of a numbers game? What I mean is back then, by talking to a woman over the phone for hours, there was a slim chance one will be stood up. These days since everyone has smartphones and mobile devices women can simply get out of a date whenever they feel like it for whatever reason and without a care in the word since they really dont know the person they are dating.
I think it is a numbers game. I personally ditch guys who text first and don't have the balls to call. Then again, I'm old school and grew up with those phat old Nokia brick of a phone and calling was exciting back then, especially after pagers were popular.

I think you're right. Chances are higher if one puts effort in calling, the likelihood of rejection might be lower. But, depends on the individual. Some people rather do the impersonal mode of communication and somehow find that intriguing.
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:25 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
I agree with you, OP. I like long telephone visits. And I think they do help build a stronger connection. For one thing, you have the advantage of hearing the person's tone of voice, which communicates a lot, it gives you a lot of feedback. Also, spending a long time on the phone indicates that you're willing to spend time on the other person, give them the gift of time. Otherwise, for all she knows, you could be texting 10 girls at once. But you can't be spending 3-4 hrs. on the phone with 10 girs/day! If long phone convos worked for you back then, why mess with success? Stick with what works.
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:38 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
5,281 posts, read 6,572,655 times
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I'm one of those guys who could hold REALLY long phone conversations. Like embarrassingly long conversations. I remember I talked to a girl on the phone once for 8 hours. 4-6 hour conversations were normal for me, especially when I was doing online dating. Let's be real, I'm chatty as hell. I'm a super super good conversationalist. I can chat about things for hours upon hours at a time. And I'm Mr. Trivia, Mr. "This is the way I see things". I have noticed though, when it came to actually MEETING a woman, their expectations were so ridiculously high, that things felt awkwards. Partly because face to face I have to really get warmed up. I'm not Mr. Chatty in person, so I have to reach a certain comfort level FIRST. This has always created that brutal mistmatch with women, and many times they're turned off. Those who have stuck around, it's generally been good, but few women do.

As a result I came up with a theory. If you get along really good online (meaning chatting,email, text, phone) you probably won't get along to well offline. In general I try to be a "what you see is what you get" guy now. Which is why I kind of abandoned phone conversations and constant texting.
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Old 10-08-2012, 03:17 AM
 
Location: From the "D" to AZ
31 posts, read 42,985 times
Reputation: 60
I am definitely a "talker" and lose interest very quickly in text only conversations. I'm in my 30s and also remember as a teenager having endless phone conversations with boys who neither of us wanted to hang up so we'd end up falling asleep on the phone (it was crazy but fun). I am at a loss for whether this is a regional thing or just the way of the world now. My move and status to single happened at around the same time so I can't pinpoint one thing or another, but either way it is irritating. With the people I have met so far, it happens fairly quickly because I am just not one to invest a bunch of time in someone that can't take the time to meet someone they are supposedly interested in developing a relationship with.

This method has definitely become a game of numbers...and it is absolutely tiring.
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Old 10-08-2012, 04:08 AM
 
Location: Atlanta & NYC
6,616 posts, read 13,800,678 times
Reputation: 6663
That's so 1990s.
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:34 AM
 
2,650 posts, read 3,008,305 times
Reputation: 3466
Chances of a girl getting a date with me via text= zero.
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:42 AM
 
Location: Hartford CT
1,883 posts, read 2,516,833 times
Reputation: 3408
I respect those who prefer to text first before speaking on the phone, but when it comes time to confirm a date, I have to speak to the woman first. If she can't speak on the phone before we meet, then I won't see her. I need at least a voice confirmation, before I meet with someone, besides not to sound paranoid, but with online dating especially a lot of people play games, so I want to make sure I am talking to a woman before I set something up.
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