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Guys, honestly what can an average looking girl do to stand out if she is competing with other girls who are more attractive....??
Men are very visual creatures and they are going to notice the most attractive women first while overlooking the more average looking girls...but there has to be something we can do to pop out more if our looks are not our strongest advantage...
Be warm, witty, positive and engaging. On a scale of 1 to 10, that adds about four to the equation. There are a lot of drop-dead gorgeous women out there who are dumber than a box of hair.
that's all well and good but to put out there like 'a winning personality' is going to win out over sexier clothing. It's just bullsh*t. They carry on left and right in threads (and IRL) about women's looks "going downhill," "too fat" "too ugly" -- but in this kind of thread they want to preach how she's being ridiculous because she's so concentrated on the physical part/the fashion part. Really? I wonder why that is?
you always like to use the word 'they' don't you?..are the same posters who mention looks going downhill, too fat on other threads on this thread? If they are, are they the ones saying personality is key?
There is no "better" of the sexes. Any woman or man who would admit and believe that to be true is best left avoided.
Agreed. But tell that to a lot of women on this forum who think their Goddesses and men should be striving to their insane standards. But with them? Ha!
you always like to use the word 'they' don't you?..are the same posters who mention looks going downhill, too fat on other threads on this thread? If they are, are they the ones saying personality is key?
Yes I use the word 'they' to include all or the majority as far as I can tell. And I also said "the ones IRL too" because they do the same exact thing: carry on about some woman's personality being key and then only care about the physical traits. So I don't beleive it IRL and I definitely don't beleive it across the world wide web. So sorry.
Kate Upton is mentioned at least once a day on here and (surprise!) it's never any musings about what kind of "personality" she might have. If a regular woman that looked like Kate Upton showed interest in a man in a real life setting, they wouldn't give a flip about her personality either. See the connection?
you always like to use the word 'they' don't you?..are the same posters who mention looks going downhill, too fat on other threads on this thread? If they are, are they the ones saying personality is key?
i was just thinking the same thing! the ones that start those threads are the same handful of people (out of billions of people in the world) and they're always talking about the same thing over and over again but i see the people here offering the op advice are the same people who give her good genuine advice...not like the stuff from those other types of threads.
Agreed. But tell that to a lot of women on this forum who think their Goddesses and men should be striving to their insane standards. But with them? Ha!
A lot of guys feel the same way though......
And that's reason nothing can ever be solved focusing on minute differences treating them a set in stone laws and saying "we" know how an entire gender thinks and operates will not help anything.
that's all well and good but to put out there like 'a winning personality' is going to win out over sexier clothing. It's just bullsh*t. They carry on left and right in threads (and IRL) about women's looks "going downhill," "too fat" "too ugly" -- but in this kind of thread they want to preach how she's being ridiculous because she's so concentrated on the physical part/the fashion part. Really? I wonder why that is?
You rail on and on about YOUR experiences are a certain way and that NO ONE will ever change your mind. But then you say the above about MY experiences. If you would like people to take you seriously or give serious thought to your comments, I'd say insulting them is NOT the way to go about it. I know your response will likely be "who cares what you think?"
I did NOT say that the physical part is to be ignored. I'm saying that if she dropped the negative attitude and the ever present race card into any situation, she MIGHT fair better. Also, even if her smiling and pleasantness DIDN'T get the wanted attention from the men she liked, it would still behoove her to NOT CARE.
I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't bother me that the petite little woman I sit next to gets a heck of a lot of male attention. She's cute, I guess, but it's her personality that bothers me. Oh, but some of the guys I work with think she hung the moon. I don't get it. If I were small or prettier or, or, or...I might have their attention, too. HOWEVER, I put down those thoughts because I seriously do not want their attention. Some of these guys are shallow and vapid (qualities I really don't care for).
The attention I receive from other men in the office is based off something more genuine. The IT guy always smiles at me because we say hello to each other and make pleasant chit chat on occasion. He is just so friendly that it's hard to ignore it! I enjoy quality people and I think that comes out...its the ones I don't care about that are annoying and worthy of forgetting.
You rail on and on about YOUR experiences are a certain way and that NO ONE will ever change your mind. But then you say the above about MY experiences.If you would like people to take you seriously or give serious thought to your comments, I'd say insulting them is NOT the way to go about it. I know your response will likely be "who cares what you think?"
I did NOT say that the physical part is to be ignored. I'm saying that if she dropped the negative attitude and the ever present race card into any situation, she MIGHT fair better. Also, even if her smiling and pleasantness DIDN'T get the wanted attention from the men she liked, it would still behoove her to NOT CARE.
I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't bother me that the petite little woman I sit next to gets a heck of a lot of male attention. She's cute, I guess, but it's her personality that bothers me. Oh, but some of the guys I work with think she hung the moon. I don't get it. If I were small or prettier or, or, or...I might have their attention, too. HOWEVER, I put down those thoughts because I seriously do not want their attention. Some of these guys are shallow and vapid (qualities I really don't care for).
The attention I receive from other men in the office is based off something more genuine. The IT guy always smiles at me because we say hello to each other and make pleasant chit chat on occasion. He is just so friendly that it's hard to ignore it! I enjoy quality people and I think that comes out...its the ones I don't care about that are annoying and worthy of forgetting.
It applies to everyone.
You're not obligated to take me seriously, it's not a requirement of the forum. Whether you do or you don't it's not going to change anything I have to say here....Here's news: they're never going to give anything I say on these matters a 'serious thought,' because these are not their personal experiences with the majority of men they have come across, therefore they must not be true/accurate.
I know what you're saying: I'm saying it doesn't matter what kind of attitude she has negative or otherwise, ignoring the fact she's a dark skinned black woman, smiling more and 'pretending' she believes she's in the same 'league' as other more attractive women -- it doesn't work. It simply doesn't. Many of the men and women on here like to perpetuate that it does work as if these men will give you more of chance because you smiled or said something positive to them....no, actually they won't if you're not even THAT attractive in the first place.
You obviously disagree with it and that's your buisness. I was letting you know that I disagree with your assessment as well.
If you were as small or as prettier as the woman at your job, yes you would automatically get more attention from the men there & you wouldn't need a personality either, because they wouldn't care. You said you don't even want their attention which is no skin off your nose, but what if you did? That would suck wouldn't it?
The men at your job smile & say hello, which is nice and all, they will mostly do that -- so? doesn't translate into they would consider dating you. (not you in particular, just in general). But it's being put across on here as that being the case. Neither one of us knows if they're being genuine or not.... Jet Jockey, God love her, smiles at men and tries to get their attention too, she's a hell of a lot more optimistic then I am -- yet we are in the same boat. So much for smiling at men and being 'positive!' Because as I said before, it doesn't amount to jack.
i was just thinking the same thing! the ones that start those threads are the same handful of people (out of billions of people in the world) and they're always talking about the same thing over and over again but i see the people here offering the op advice are the same people who give her good genuine advice...not like the stuff from those other types of threads.
No point wasting your time..arguing with her..we (men) are all superficial, hate women and are jerks in her eyes, but I suspect if a male poster commented that all women were tramps/sl*t's then she would be up and arms and damn them for generalizing..gotta love hypocracy!!
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There is no "better" of the sexes. Any woman or man who would admit and believe that to be true is best left avoided.
Really? I wonder why that is?
