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I have learned a lot along the way, but mostly a successful relationship starts with yourself, knowing yourself, and being able to identify a partner who is compatable with yourself. It is about reason, analysis, keeping your heart and emotions in check. Not getting carried away with the thoughts of fairy tale endings which can cause us to make poor choices (as our emotions blind us to how compatable someone we are "in love" really is).
Instead of optimistic, or pessimistic, I would say I am confident. Confident that I can now make good decisions about my life to select a partner who I am truly compatable with, and someone I can grow with and see both of us be greater together, than we were seperated.
I would say this is a realist. Which is what I am. If I had to say which way I lean more of it would be an optimist. Before I met the BF I had finally decided to get off the fence about kids and decided I didn't want them, and I knew that would severely limit my dating pool. But I figured, better I wait until the right guy comes along than waste another relationship with someone who hopes they can change my mind. Luckily I didn't have to wait long.
If I had to choose one I'm probably a pessimist about dating. I've been burned pretty badly quite a few times. I still go on dates and try, but I'm not sure if I really believe that one day I'll find one perfect person and our relationship will last forever. I don't think that's being as much pessimistic though as it is realistic. Look around, how many people really find one person they are happy with forever?
I wouldn't say I'm a pessimist, but I definitely don't believe in all that falling in love/living happily ever after crap. It's fairytale nonsense. Life just isn't like that. For a lot of people there is no happy ending.
Optimist here. I'm sure I'll be teased (or worse) mercilessly, but that Michael Buble song, "I Just Haven't Met You Yet" sums up how I feel about it. I'm happy being single, and while I'd eventually like to meet an amazing guy and live happily ever after, I'm in no rush. And, if that doesn't ever happen, I'll be okay with that too.
I consider myself a little bit of both. I'm more on the optimist side though. I do believe that when I finally get back on my feet, I may not find the right one for me, but I will be doing a lot of dating. Finding the "right one" is where I am rather pessimistic.
If I had to choose one I'm probably a pessimist about dating. I've been burned pretty badly quite a few times. I still go on dates and try, but I'm not sure if I really believe that one day I'll find one perfect person and our relationship will last forever. I don't think that's being as much pessimistic though as it is realistic. Look around, how many people really find one person they are happy with forever?
Change your expectation then. Realistically, most people have several serious relationships throughout they're lives, not the one and only forever types.
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