Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Of course he has the right to do whatever he wants and live however he likes.
However, his obsession with making sure that no one 'screws him over' is pathologic.
As is his disregard for doing anything that might help him connect with another person.
There's more to life and relationships than money and presents.
Not on this board, though. Relationships here are all about keeping track and keeping score and making sure you don't put out more than you get back. I'm sure all these dudes have a spreadsheet for all this.
I love these forums. I hear all these people, especially women talk about being feminists, they believe in equality, blah blah blah. Then it comes to dating/romance. Then you have women jumping on a guy because he doesn't want to spend money on dates. If a woman had said this, in many peoples eyes, that's just fine. He should man up, take the lead, and pay for most of the dating expenses. That doesn't sound like they want things to be equal.
Its the same junk with women complaining there's no good men. Many men are quite happy to date a woman who makes very little or not as much as they do. But change the sex, and many women consider a man who makes less than them, is shorter than them, lower class than them, a loser, and not worth dating. Unfortunately, I've come to the conclusion is that many women are looking for a man, but he also better be a source of cash to spend on her.
Because a woman expects to get an equal wage to a man and have choices, does not mean that all gender roles should go into the toilet.
We are different biologically and in most cultures, men are the breadwinners and the providers. Furthermore, many men (at least Real men), would feel emasculated if their women made more than them. They become resentful and passive aggressive. Many men prefer a woman to make less than them so that they can provide for her and so that she can look up to them.
It is also a turnoff to many women if they have to support their man financially. It makes them feel like his mother, not his lover. It is also hard to respect such a guy.
Because a woman expects to get an equal wage to a man and have choices, does not mean that all gender roles should go into the toilet.
We are different biologically and in most cultures, men are the breadwinners and the providers. Furthermore, many men (at least Real men), would feel emasculated if their women made more than them. They become resentful and passive aggressive. Many men prefer a woman to make less than them so that they can provide for her and so that she can look up to them.
It is also a turnoff to many women if they have to support their man financially. It makes them feel like his mother, not his lover. It is also hard to respect such a guy.
Well..... after all this time I finally discover that I feel "emasculated", i'm "resentful" and "passive aggressive". It would also seem that I can be categorised as not being one of the "Real men"..
I'm truly grateful to have been able to find someone like yourself to tell me what I think and feel and where I'd stand as part of society in your eyes oh dear and beloved Peacelilies......
My exwife divorced me over that pre-conceived notion the man should be an ATM machine. According to the first replies to this thread, being a functional male means being open and stoic about that financial subjugation to the female half of any relationship. Displaying aversion to the financial whipsawing from a female is considered anti-social behavior on the part of the man; he is not fulfilling his role. Did I sum the jest of this thread up good?
I don't think that paints women as a gender in very good light FWIW. Alas, not all of them are like that. My partner *knock on wood* has stepped up as a woman and bent that trend by her willingness to sign a prenup as the lesser-earning half.
I'll play house all day. But I'll retain control over my finances thank you very much. I'll always encourage and support my SOs desires to attain what she wants in life, but never at the expense of the fruits of my own labor. I was not born to be a servant to another human being's material capriciousness, even if it stems from biological or otherwise moral-netural urges of safe-keeping for offspring. Call me unsuited or undesirable all day for all I care. Knowing another human being isn't going to remove the soup and light from my table just because they wanted to go to Vegas more often, or wanted a bigger house, or wanted a newer car (while not working for it themselves mind you) brings me peace in life. Eff human biology.
Because a woman expects to get an equal wage to a man and have choices, does not mean that all gender roles should go into the toilet.
We are different biologically and in most cultures, men are the breadwinners and the providers. Furthermore, many men (at least Real men), would feel emasculated if their women made more than them. They become resentful and passive aggressive. Many men prefer a woman to make less than them so that they can provide for her and so that she can look up to them.
It is also a turnoff to many women if they have to support their man financially. It makes them feel like his mother, not his lover. It is also hard to respect such a guy.
No one can really help the way they are biologically programmed.
I could not disagree more. To start, the concept is fitting for proles and under. Two, the only people who believe biology plays a role in behavior are those who are not well educated in biology/the sciences ime.
I think a "real man" finds the love of his life and wants her to be happy - whether that means she is a stay at home mom or whether she is the bread winner. Anyway - that's how my "real man" feels. He's perfectly content to have me raising our son right now while he makes all the money and hopes that I make it big someday so that he can buy a boat and retire!
Well..... after all this time I finally discover that I feel "emasculated", i'm "resentful" and "passive aggressive". It would also seem that I can be categorised as not being one of the "Real men"..
I'm truly grateful to have been able to find someone like yourself to tell me what I think and feel and where I'd stand as part of society in your eyes oh dear and beloved Peacelilies......
Notice I said "many", not all men. You might not be that way but many men are like that, particularly traditional ones.
My exwife divorced me over that pre-conceived notion the man should be an ATM machine. According to the first replies to this thread, being a functional male means being open and stoic about that financial subjugation to the female half of any relationship. Displaying aversion to the financial whipsawing from a female is considered anti-social behavior on the part of the man; he is not fulfilling his role. Did I sum the jest of this thread up good?
I don't think that paints women as a gender in very good light FWIW. Alas, not all of them are like that. My partner *knock on wood* has stepped up as a woman and bent that trend by her willingness to sign a prenup as the lesser-earning half.
I'll play house all day. But I'll retain control over my finances thank you very much. I'll always encourage and support my SOs desires to attain what she wants in life, but never at the expense of the fruits of my own labor. I was not born to be a servant to another human being's material capriciousness, even if it stems from biological or otherwise moral-netural urges of safe-keeping for offspring. Call me unsuited or undesirable all day for all I care. Knowing another human being isn't going to remove the soup and light from my table just because they wanted to go to Vegas more often, or wanted a bigger house, or wanted a newer car (while not working for it themselves mind you) brings me peace in life. Eff human biology.
Sorry about your ex-wife. She sounds more like a gold digger, someone greedy. That's not what I'm talking about and I am certainly not saying all women are like this.
What I am talking about is the fact that many women are attracted to financial security in a man. It's just the way they are programmed. Ofcourse there are exceptions like everything else, but mostly, this is how it is. Just like you can't tell most men to not be attracted to youth and beauty. You can't tell a woman (most, again), not to want a provider.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
