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So I've always been big on making changes in my life when they need to be made. Sometimes it takes a while, but when I make the effort, stuff usually starts rolling along. Right now, I'm working on developing a running habit and losing weight, after being a couch potato most of my life and finding out a couple years go that my mother - a much more active and fit person than I - has type 2 diabetes. 17 pounds are gone so far (another 25-30 to go, depending on how I look/feel), and I'm running for a full 30 minutes with no extraordinary effort. I feel very different, but I have a feeling in another 3 months I'm going to feel even more different. (Plus there are other changes on the horizon, too, in other areas of my life.)
It seems logical to me to take a break from dating at this point, not that my dating life is all that active right now, but shutting it down seems like it would make for less clutter in my brain. However, I also find dating to be kind of fun.
I'm just wondering what other folks think about abandoning all plans for a romantic life when there's a big change going on. I don't see this as a huge decision, but I wonder if I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I should. I mean, it's not like I'm starting AA or something - I'm just adding an element of fitness and wise dietary choices to my life. I'd also add that I have pretty severe ADD, so changes in my routine can sometimes generate a lot of chaos. That hasn't been the case with the running and working out, but the possibility is at the back of my mind.
How do the rest of you handle (or not handle) a romantic life when other parts of your life are in upheaval or transition?
Don't overthink it. Putting your romantic life on hold now will only raise your expectations later. Thin women also have trouble finding dates. Just live your life normally. Enjoy feeling sexier.
Don't overthink it. Putting your romantic life on hold now will only raise your expectations later. Thin women also have trouble finding dates. Just live your life normally. Enjoy feeling sexier.
I don't have that much trouble getting dates (at least not first dates). I just wonder if dating is something to set aside until I'm done with this "phase." 1) There's the distraction component. 2) There's the fact that I'm not just changing physically, but in certain outlooks and attitudes and habits. Is it wise to go looking for a romantic relationship when who you are now might be quite different in a few months? (Yeah, I know - people don't really change, but that mostly applies to human nature at its most fundamental levels. I'm talking about change at a slightly more superficial level, but not at an entirely frivolous one, like dyeing my hair.)
I'm not one to swear anything off or change too drastically because that creates too much emphasis on whatever it is I'm doing or not doing. But that's me. This is your process. You know yourself.
When I got divorced after 25 years it was decidedly life changing and I have a lot of decisions to make. Therefore I wanted my life as uncluttered as possible as I thought things through. Consequently, I ended up living like a monk for over two years - no socializing or social life whatsoever. Just work. It didn't hurt a bit. In fact, it was so uncluttered and uncomplicated that I actually grew to really like it. Like you have begun, I spent a lot of that time working out. Why not? I really had nothing better to do and it seemed to be a good idea. Best of luck!
If you are working really hard on your life (good for you) you may find you just don't have the patience for dating. I know I often don't.
At this stage in my life I have a few men littering the perimeters, but I too have some stuff to sort out and my attitude to these guys is "if you're not part of my solution, you're part of my problem".
Meaning, if they don't help me or support me in a positive manner, they're gone.
ETA - do you know how many aspiring trannies you are attracting by this thread title?
So I've always been big on making changes in my life when they need to be made. Sometimes it takes a while, but when I make the effort, stuff usually starts rolling along. Right now, I'm working on developing a running habit and losing weight, after being a couch potato most of my life and finding out a couple years go that my mother - a much more active and fit person than I - has type 2 diabetes. 17 pounds are gone so far (another 25-30 to go, depending on how I look/feel), and I'm running for a full 30 minutes with no extraordinary effort. I feel very different, but I have a feeling in another 3 months I'm going to feel even more different. (Plus there are other changes on the horizon, too, in other areas of my life.)
It seems logical to me to take a break from dating at this point, not that my dating life is all that active right now, but shutting it down seems like it would make for less clutter in my brain. However, I also find dating to be kind of fun.
I'm just wondering what other folks think about abandoning all plans for a romantic life when there's a big change going on. I don't see this as a huge decision, but I wonder if I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I should. I mean, it's not like I'm starting AA or something - I'm just adding an element of fitness and wise dietary choices to my life. I'd also add that I have pretty severe ADD, so changes in my routine can sometimes generate a lot of chaos. That hasn't been the case with the running and working out, but the possibility is at the back of my mind.
How do the rest of you handle (or not handle) a romantic life when other parts of your life are in upheaval or transition?
Many people keep in shape and date at the same time.
If you are working really hard on your life (good for you) you may find you just don't have the patience for dating. I know I often don't.
At this stage in my life I have a few men littering the perimeters, but I too have some stuff to sort out and my attitude to these guys is "if you're not part of my solution, you're part of my problem".
Meaning, if they don't help me or support me in a positive manner, they're gone.
ETA - do you know how many aspiring trannies you are attracting by this thread title?
Many people keep in shape and date at the same time.
You missed the point. I'm not "keeping" in shape. I'm _getting_ there. I'm also trying different things with my diet. Oh, and also shopping for a house and possibly adding more livestock to the pack. Major changes are occurring and there's a certain amount of upheaval in my life. And when things settle down, I'm likely going to be in a very different place mentally from where I am now, with a totally different routine and lifestyle.
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