How can I avoid the doghouse?

[capitol]

So what exactly has she ever done to make you feel appreciated?

[BradPiff]

Doghouse=no ass until you heed to her demands

[Lilac110]

I am assuming she does these things for you, too? If she sees doing things like that as an expression of love, and she loves you, I would hope she's leading by example.

If she practices what she preaches, sit down and have a talk with her. Ask her why she feels unappreciated. Ask for concrete and explicit examples of what she means. "I just do" is not an acceptable response. Maybe she did something for you that you failed to acknowledge or thank her for.

You may both have to accept that you have very different methods of expressing your feelings for one another, and you may both have to meet each other half-way and see the intent behind one another's actions. She may be a "romantic" who likes things like rose petals on the bed, "I love you" scraped out of the ice on her windshield, and playlists of love songs. Now call me sexist if you must, but I don't think most men are wired that way. I think men are wired to be practical in showing that they care. "But honey, I got you this AAA membership because I don't ever want you to be stranded somewhere." If it's like that, you both need to bend a little, you with maybe sending a bouquet once in a while, her with understanding that a practical thing like roadside assistance stems from concern for her well-being--which is really quite a loving thing, I might add.

So ask yourself if she makes YOU feel appreciated. If not, is it because she communicates her feelings differently? Think hard on that, really hard, because she may be doing things you just don't notice. If you're stuck, think about how she treats others. Does she mention that she got a friend or relative something she knows they've always wanted? Or does she complain that what others give her isn't the right color or not what she was hoping for? It's pretty easy to suss out a spoiled brat that way.

If it really is all about her, you know what to do. With people like that, you can never do enough, say enough, buy enough, or appease enough, and if you kowtow to them and meet their demands, it tells them that their emotional extortion is okay. It's all Chapter 7 after that.