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Old 10-14-2012, 03:34 AM
 
Location: Tha 6th Bourough
3,633 posts, read 5,291,131 times
Reputation: 1755

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I'll tell ya man. I don't know of anyone with worse luck than me in my own path of life when it comes to experiences involving the opposite sex. Yet again the other night I had some more bad luck. I would rate it low on my scale of experiences as far as how crappy things are sometimes, but it seems like the little things just add up and add up more and more until there is a whole big mountain of s-word to overcome once again. I could probably write a book about my life or make some movies about my luck, but for now I'll just go on and share my experience from the other night because I feel like venting about it to get it off my chest.

I got off work and on the way home was listening to this football game on the radio. It was the 4th quarter and the game was tied, so I decided to stop somewhere and watch the rest of it. So I went to the bar I go to near my house. I ended up seeing the end of the game and having a nice talk with the bartender as we always do.

A few months back she saw me break up a fight and help one of the guys who was in the fight vent his frustrations about the situation he was in with women, his best friend, and the ruined night he had from this fight. The bartender out of the blue wrote her phone number down and put it on my bill. She was attractive and I had talked with her before a few times because she knows my brother too. Anyways I called her number and gave her a text within the next few days because she gave me her number so I decided to use it. I found out a few weeks later that she was living with her husband and they were seperated so that's why she never responded to my call or text.

So fast forward to a few days ago. Last Thursday I decided to go watch the end of this game and I ended up chatting with the bartender having a nice time and chatting with some other people up there having some laughs. Then this girl who was sitting next to me the whole time talking to these other shady kinda guys a few seats away turned over and asked me something, and so we started talking. We were having a good time, and this went on for about 30 minutes or so. Then something happened outside and she got up and went out there for a minute and came right back thinking she saw someone she knew outside. I told her I thought she was leaving without saying goodbye, and she said no way, I wasn't leaving you like that. She told me I was a nice guy and was having fun talking with me. So we talked and laughed for about 10 more minutes then some other guys came in and sat on the other side of her. I really had to pee at that point, so I told her I would be right back. Then I came back and the other 2 guys had her full attention, I kinda knew they were like most guys out at the bar trying to get into her pants because of that vibe those kind of guys give off.

So here I am the nice respectable kind of guy realizing that they are running game on her like I've seen lots of times before when I go out and I realized they probably got her where they wanted, so I gave it one last chance and leaned over and asked her if she wanted to go play pool with me in a few minutes. She said no, so I turned away and sat next to the other guys I was talking to before I met her and as soon as I sit down, a minute later she's walking away to the pool tables with this other guy. Those dudes next to me told me that was effed up and told me I was too good for her anyways as they confirmed what I suspected about those other guys while I was in the bathroom. My bar buddies informed me they were trying to get her to come back home with them as I went away.

So chalk up another one for the nice guy (me). I get to watch these dogs walk away with the girl all the time as the girl always tells me I'm one of the most interesting and nice guys they have met until these dogs always seem to ruin it. I would say this did upset me, but it isn't near what I would consider one of my real bad experiences, it's just one of those things where you add one small thing on top of the next and it really takes the wind out of your sails.

You start losing hope and confidence. You stop caring about trying anymore. I'm 34 years old and it seems to me that some people do have bad luck. I'm living proof of that. Anyone else feel this way sometimes?

FYI - I narrowed the events down to the point of the story instead of the details. I'm sure just like on lots of city-data stories you read, you may not understand or may assume some things about that night or me as a person, but I would say you had to be there just like in every life experience we share on these threads. Thanks for reading.
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Old 10-14-2012, 03:48 AM
 
Location: Atlantis
3,017 posts, read 3,495,804 times
Reputation: 8849
It could always be worse.

Things could have worked out great with her, and developed into a relationship where you convinced yourself that she loved you and then you both got married and had kids.

Then fast forward a decade later. You wake up from the dream you were in, catch her cheating on you, she says she doesn't love you anymore, takes half of your stuff along with the house and you are paying child support for the kids.

And you find yourself looking back on all of it, sitting in the same bar again.
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Old 10-14-2012, 04:03 AM
 
Location: Tha 6th Bourough
3,633 posts, read 5,291,131 times
Reputation: 1755
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skydive Outlaw View Post
It could always be worse.

Things could have worked out great with her, and developed into a relationship where you convinced yourself that she loved you and then you both got married and had kids.

Then fast forward a decade later. You wake up from the dream you were in, catch her cheating on you, she says she doesn't love you anymore, takes half of your stuff along with the house and you are paying child support for the kids.

And you find yourself looking back on all of it, sitting in the same bar again.
I know. Yeah things have been worse and can be worse, but it just sucks to keep getting shot down in the way I do all the time. It's not that the girl doesn't like me is what bothers me that much, but more about how they shoot me down. Like when I asked this girl if she wanted to play pool, and she says no, but then she walks right by me with the other guy to play pool or like the bartender giving me her number and flirting all the time, but she tells me she's married after I see her a few weeks later. The last time I got shot down before that the girl invited me on a date and when we get to the place, she tells me she's meeting her ex at the same place in an hour, so i had to sit there the rest of my night watching them because that chick was in the middle of working things out and she invited me out and threw me to the back burner after she decided she might wanna get back with her ex. I could list off a lot of situations, but those are just the last three and it sucks. I never expect anything serious, but I hope for the best to come out of meeting someone new, I'm just tired of getting shut down in embarrasing fashion as if these chicks are out to play a practicle joke on someone and I just happen to be the victim of it.
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Old 10-14-2012, 06:49 AM
 
Location: Bronx
16,231 posts, read 20,289,238 times
Reputation: 8251
Quote:
Originally Posted by RazorRob305 View Post
I'll tell ya man. I don't know of anyone with worse luck than me in my own path of life when it comes to experiences involving the opposite sex. Yet again the other night I had some more bad luck. I would rate it low on my scale of experiences as far as how crappy things are sometimes, but it seems like the little things just add up and add up more and more until there is a whole big mountain of s-word to overcome once again. I could probably write a book about my life or make some movies about my luck, but for now I'll just go on and share my experience from the other night because I feel like venting about it to get it off my chest.

I got off work and on the way home was listening to this football game on the radio. It was the 4th quarter and the game was tied, so I decided to stop somewhere and watch the rest of it. So I went to the bar I go to near my house. I ended up seeing the end of the game and having a nice talk with the bartender as we always do.

A few months back she saw me break up a fight and help one of the guys who was in the fight vent his frustrations about the situation he was in with women, his best friend, and the ruined night he had from this fight. The bartender out of the blue wrote her phone number down and put it on my bill. She was attractive and I had talked with her before a few times because she knows my brother too. Anyways I called her number and gave her a text within the next few days because she gave me her number so I decided to use it. I found out a few weeks later that she was living with her husband and they were seperated so that's why she never responded to my call or text.

So fast forward to a few days ago. Last Thursday I decided to go watch the end of this game and I ended up chatting with the bartender having a nice time and chatting with some other people up there having some laughs. Then this girl who was sitting next to me the whole time talking to these other shady kinda guys a few seats away turned over and asked me something, and so we started talking. We were having a good time, and this went on for about 30 minutes or so. Then something happened outside and she got up and went out there for a minute and came right back thinking she saw someone she knew outside. I told her I thought she was leaving without saying goodbye, and she said no way, I wasn't leaving you like that. She told me I was a nice guy and was having fun talking with me. So we talked and laughed for about 10 more minutes then some other guys came in and sat on the other side of her. I really had to pee at that point, so I told her I would be right back. Then I came back and the other 2 guys had her full attention, I kinda knew they were like most guys out at the bar trying to get into her pants because of that vibe those kind of guys give off.

So here I am the nice respectable kind of guy realizing that they are running game on her like I've seen lots of times before when I go out and I realized they probably got her where they wanted, so I gave it one last chance and leaned over and asked her if she wanted to go play pool with me in a few minutes. She said no, so I turned away and sat next to the other guys I was talking to before I met her and as soon as I sit down, a minute later she's walking away to the pool tables with this other guy. Those dudes next to me told me that was effed up and told me I was too good for her anyways as they confirmed what I suspected about those other guys while I was in the bathroom. My bar buddies informed me they were trying to get her to come back home with them as I went away.

So chalk up another one for the nice guy (me). I get to watch these dogs walk away with the girl all the time as the girl always tells me I'm one of the most interesting and nice guys they have met until these dogs always seem to ruin it. I would say this did upset me, but it isn't near what I would consider one of my real bad experiences, it's just one of those things where you add one small thing on top of the next and it really takes the wind out of your sails.

You start losing hope and confidence. You stop caring about trying anymore. I'm 34 years old and it seems to me that some people do have bad luck. I'm living proof of that. Anyone else feel this way sometimes?

FYI - I narrowed the events down to the point of the story instead of the details. I'm sure just like on lots of city-data stories you read, you may not understand or may assume some things about that night or me as a person, but I would say you had to be there just like in every life experience we share on these threads. Thanks for reading.

It sounds like she put you at the back burner and choosed a bad guy over a good guy for the time being, women tend to do this alot, than again she could have been lying to you saying you are interesting but you could really been boring for her.
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Old 10-14-2012, 07:02 AM
 
2,561 posts, read 2,368,894 times
Reputation: 1480
Bit curious as to whether you're asexual and had absolutely no interest in having sex with her otherwise in my opinion you're little different than those guys who were trying to get into her pants. Unless you're putting yourself on a pedestal as a nice guy?

More curious as to why it was effed up that she rejected your invitation to play pool and you're too good for her. Is it like you had some sort of claim on her so she can't accept other guy's invitations or she's a b*tch?

Likely there are plenty that feel the way you do sometimes though in my opinion this doesn't seem to be a case of bad luck rather that lack of interest in gals that you want.
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Old 10-14-2012, 09:34 AM
 
16,108 posts, read 21,726,007 times
Reputation: 26531
I think if a gal is on her own, she is own her own. If you want to lay claim to a date, ask someone out. You have a right to feel a bit left out, but not enough to make up your mind that you did something wrong. Seriously, you probably dodged a bullet w/ this gal. Spend some quality time getting to know someone you'd like to date, leave the bar flys to do their own thing.
IMO You are better off not having a relationship w/ someone that would dis you like this w/in 2 minutes of promising you she'd not leave w/out saying goodnight. Chalk it up....Find a nice girl to date and get to know. Join some volunteer groups go to some events for singles etc. Trying to find a real relationship in a bar atmosphere w/ someone who was already there with someone else is shooting yourself in the foot. Make your own luck...

Last edited by JanND; 10-14-2012 at 09:43 AM..
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Old 10-14-2012, 09:50 AM
 
864 posts, read 1,281,200 times
Reputation: 1138
It sounds like you dodged a couple of bullets. Be thankful for that. And here's a thought...forget meeting women in a bar. I don't know of many who go there looking for the real deal.
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Old 10-14-2012, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Central California
1,783 posts, read 2,020,934 times
Reputation: 1684
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skydive Outlaw View Post
It could always be worse.

Things could have worked out great with her, and developed into a relationship where you convinced yourself that she loved you and then you both got married and had kids.

Then fast forward a decade later. You wake up from the dream you were in, catch her cheating on you, she says she doesn't love you anymore, takes half of your stuff along with the house and you are paying child support for the kids.

And you find yourself looking back on all of it, sitting in the same bar again.
This.

It could always be worse. One of my friends got married, got deployed (in the military), came home, and got gonorrhea from his wife who was sleeping around like crazy in his absence.

Also, in regards to the OP's story, you don't know if she had any history with those guys. It also sounds like you have some white knight issues (you were trying to save her from sex with those guys?). Girls HATE that kind of stuff (well, normal girls do....there's a few uber-feminists on this board that claim to like it).

Stop getting down on yourself. It's not your fault that the bartender didn't call you and it's probably not your fault that this girl left with another guy (unless you weren't being aggressive enough, which sounds like may have been the case). Just learn from each one and move on. If you have that attitude, then you're invincible.
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Old 10-14-2012, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
4,943 posts, read 5,676,150 times
Reputation: 4194
You don't have bad luck, you simply have bad taste. And bad taste normally leads to bad situations with women. So it's not an issue of nature working against you, it's a nature of you working against you. I use to be like you too, had tons of bad girls in my life, nothing ever seemed to have worked out. So you really need to evaluate why you are attracted to what you're attracted to. Some attractions are natural, and some attractions are due to something missing inside of us. Sort this out, and your luck should change.
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Old 10-14-2012, 11:17 AM
 
826 posts, read 1,729,508 times
Reputation: 1299
Quote:
Originally Posted by RazorRob305 View Post
I'll tell ya man. I don't know of anyone with worse luck than me in my own path of life when it comes to experiences involving the opposite sex. Yet again the other night I had some more bad luck. I would rate it low on my scale of experiences as far as how crappy things are sometimes, but it seems like the little things just add up and add up more and more until there is a whole big mountain of s-word to overcome once again. I could probably write a book about my life or make some movies about my luck, but for now I'll just go on and share my experience from the other night because I feel like venting about it to get it off my chest.

I got off work and on the way home was listening to this football game on the radio. It was the 4th quarter and the game was tied, so I decided to stop somewhere and watch the rest of it. So I went to the bar I go to near my house. I ended up seeing the end of the game and having a nice talk with the bartender as we always do.

A few months back she saw me break up a fight and help one of the guys who was in the fight vent his frustrations about the situation he was in with women, his best friend, and the ruined night he had from this fight. The bartender out of the blue wrote her phone number down and put it on my bill. She was attractive and I had talked with her before a few times because she knows my brother too. Anyways I called her number and gave her a text within the next few days because she gave me her number so I decided to use it. I found out a few weeks later that she was living with her husband and they were seperated so that's why she never responded to my call or text.

So fast forward to a few days ago. Last Thursday I decided to go watch the end of this game and I ended up chatting with the bartender having a nice time and chatting with some other people up there having some laughs. Then this girl who was sitting next to me the whole time talking to these other shady kinda guys a few seats away turned over and asked me something, and so we started talking. We were having a good time, and this went on for about 30 minutes or so. Then something happened outside and she got up and went out there for a minute and came right back thinking she saw someone she knew outside. I told her I thought she was leaving without saying goodbye, and she said no way, I wasn't leaving you like that. She told me I was a nice guy and was having fun talking with me. So we talked and laughed for about 10 more minutes then some other guys came in and sat on the other side of her. I really had to pee at that point, so I told her I would be right back. Then I came back and the other 2 guys had her full attention, I kinda knew they were like most guys out at the bar trying to get into her pants because of that vibe those kind of guys give off.

So here I am the nice respectable kind of guy realizing that they are running game on her like I've seen lots of times before when I go out and I realized they probably got her where they wanted, so I gave it one last chance and leaned over and asked her if she wanted to go play pool with me in a few minutes. She said no, so I turned away and sat next to the other guys I was talking to before I met her and as soon as I sit down, a minute later she's walking away to the pool tables with this other guy. Those dudes next to me told me that was effed up and told me I was too good for her anyways as they confirmed what I suspected about those other guys while I was in the bathroom. My bar buddies informed me they were trying to get her to come back home with them as I went away.

So chalk up another one for the nice guy (me). I get to watch these dogs walk away with the girl all the time as the girl always tells me I'm one of the most interesting and nice guys they have met until these dogs always seem to ruin it. I would say this did upset me, but it isn't near what I would consider one of my real bad experiences, it's just one of those things where you add one small thing on top of the next and it really takes the wind out of your sails.

You start losing hope and confidence. You stop caring about trying anymore. I'm 34 years old and it seems to me that some people do have bad luck. I'm living proof of that. Anyone else feel this way sometimes?

FYI - I narrowed the events down to the point of the story instead of the details. I'm sure just like on lots of city-data stories you read, you may not understand or may assume some things about that night or me as a person, but I would say you had to be there just like in every life experience we share on these threads. Thanks for reading.
Sometimes being too nice can be a turn off. Many women want a guy with an edge, a take charge attitude. That's why bad boys are so appealing.

From reading your post, you come across a bit like a pushover, and I really don't mean this in a bad way, but not too many women like that.

Being nice is all well and good, but in the initial stages of getting to know someone, don't lay it all out, don't invest too much of your heart and try to be a bit more decisive if you can.
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