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Old 10-07-2019, 02:36 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,424,840 times
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Before I went to bed, I was looking on Instagram, and low behold a surprise was there. Instagram recommended a guy I had a very deep emotional affair with years ago, who is married and with a child (at least he was back then).

At the time I had no idea I was in an emotional affair (didn't even know what it was) with him, but once I did realize what we were doing, I cut it off completely, realizing how wrong it was. A few months later I wrote him a letter (via email) letting him know that I was sorry to cut things so abruptly and without an explanation. He responded to me letting me know he appreciated me reaching out to me to give it closure. I will say him and I had such a deep connection one that really stands out. However, when I ended things I moved on quickly, swiftly and did pretty well after that. I missed him and was sad, but I was okay. More than missing him, I felt guilty for cutting things off the way I did as I know it really hurt him badly, hence why I sent him that letter.

Fast forward to the past few years and once in a great while he would pop in my head, but most of the time he was forgotten to me. Until last night when he appeared on Instagram. I looked at his profile out of curiosity but did not follow him nor am planning to. I went to bed not thinking that much of it. Until I fell asleep.

In my dream I went to visit him and his new house. In the dream him and I caught up and we started talking about everything we experienced with each other, and how we felt about each other since we went our separate ways. It was a very happy reunion. I don't remember much else of what was said in the dream, but during the dream I do remember us really having that connection we had during our time. It felt so amazing and special.

I woke up, remembering most of the dream. I felt so sad. It made me miss him. It made me want to reach out to him, and it has kept him on my mind most of the day. It feels like an old wound has opened up. I am not going to reach out to him at all nor do I truly want to be with him because aside from the emotional affair he is just too complicated of an individual. I also will not repeat or relive my mistakes. If anything the toxic relationship he had with his wife and the unhappiness he dealt with, taught me so much. But nonetheless he is a good person.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Someone that you loved romantically, you reconnected in a dream in a positive way, and it left you feeling just so bummed out about it and missing them? Its like a ghost has come back from the dead.

I know in time it will fade away, but today it just really got me feeling.
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Old 10-07-2019, 03:57 PM
 
4,041 posts, read 3,319,764 times
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Its a dopamine hit. Think about what happens to ex-smokers when they fall of the wagon. You just fell off the wagon.

Its sounds like you don't want to end your primary relationship and you aren't interested in being poly. That being the case, its probably most effective to block contact with him.
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Old 10-07-2019, 08:46 PM
 
4,382 posts, read 2,286,802 times
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I think its a sign you are missing intimacy and connection in general. In the dream, you didnt actually talk to him, it was a part of your subconscious that got jostled out of hiding, and seeing his IG triggered it. But as you havent spoken to him in years, it actually has little to do with him. That was just the thing your subconscious chose as the catalyst to call your attention to your unmet needs. I think you might be feeling lonely and emotionally unfulfilled.
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Old 10-07-2019, 11:51 PM
 
4,041 posts, read 3,319,764 times
Reputation: 6415
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00 View Post
I think its a sign you are missing intimacy and connection in general. In the dream, you didnt actually talk to him, it was a part of your subconscious that got jostled out of hiding, and seeing his IG triggered it. But as you havent spoken to him in years, it actually has little to do with him. That was just the thing your subconscious chose as the catalyst to call your attention to your unmet needs. I think you might be feeling lonely and emotionally unfulfilled.
I totally don't think like this, but its interesting.
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