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Old 10-15-2012, 03:45 PM
 
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I've seen many posts about women being in great marriages with men who were friends first...

Was there any specific things that these men did to stop being friends?

I've heard tales from my own guy friends and they al say that too many times it doesn't work because they just aren't seen as potential boyfriends, or the women fear that the relationship will ruin their friendships.
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Old 10-15-2012, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
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When it comes to love - there really are not magical equations. When I met my husband, I was engaged to someone else. I was on tour with my husband and saw him every single day. We became friends - being more wasn't something I thought about since I was engaged. But the more I got to know him - I began to be attracted to him. It just happened. And the more time I spent with him - the more I realized how wrong my relationship with my fiance was.

It's not like my husband did anything - we just happened to be right for each other and we discovered this by spending time with each other as friends first.
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Old 10-15-2012, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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There is no way out of the friendzone. Trust me, you're there for a reason, and women rarely if ever "promote" you out of it. Women say they married their best friend, married a guy who eventually became their best friend, but not started as their best friend. There is a major caste system for women, and very little upward mobility. Can't earn your way with a woman. The only way out of the friend zone is to cut off the friendship. I was in a friendzone situation for 2 years with a woman I thought I was VERY compatible with. It never worked out, and I eventually asked myself 'I like her, I can't be her friend, I want more'. And because of that, I was able to leave.
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
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If a woman puts you in the 'friend zone' she never liked you to begin with, sorry. It's an excuse to make rejection a little bit easier. There is nothing you could have done to NOT be put in the friend zone since there was no attraction in the first place.

If she likes you romantically, even just a little bit, there is always a chance 'friendzone' or not.
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:05 PM
 
3,418 posts, read 2,732,947 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
I've seen many posts about women being in great marriages with men who were friends first...

Was there any specific things that these men did to stop being friends?

I've heard tales from my own guy friends and they al say that too many times it doesn't work because they just aren't seen as potential boyfriends, or the women fear that the relationship will ruin their friendships.
I would say you have to figure out what it was the made a woman not attracted you. Was it lack of confidence, your weight, the way you dress, your attitude, and type of actions you may have done that might give the woman the impression that being friends is the best you two will ever be. You have to figure out first what it was that caused you to go in to the friend zone.
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:09 PM
 
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Let me know if you figure it out. In my experience, men can also be the ones who don't "promote" as branh put it. With the exception of my late husband, who apparently didn't get the memo, I've always been just the friend.
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:10 PM
 
3,418 posts, read 2,732,947 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
When it comes to love - there really are not magical equations. When I met my husband, I was engaged to someone else. I was on tour with my husband and saw him every single day. We became friends - being more wasn't something I thought about since I was engaged. But the more I got to know him - I began to be attracted to him. It just happened. And the more time I spent with him - the more I realized how wrong my relationship with my fiance was.

It's not like my husband did anything - we just happened to be right for each other and we discovered this by spending time with each other as friends first.
would you have friend-zoned him if you weren't engaged?
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:11 PM
 
9,663 posts, read 9,127,059 times
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Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
If a woman puts you in the 'friend zone' she never liked you to begin with, sorry. It's an excuse to make rejection a little bit easier. There is nothing you could have done to NOT be put in the friend zone since there was no attraction in the first place.

If she likes you romantically, even just a little bit, there is always a chance 'friendzone' or not.
That's funny though, because I have strong friendships with a couple of ladies, who are great and interesting people to hang out with. I was always interested in making a move but I never could cause they are always dating someone, and I don't make moves on anyone that's dating someone. Im just not that kind of guy. >.<
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
4,940 posts, read 5,600,277 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nighttrain55 View Post
I would say you have to figure out what it was the made a woman not attracted you. Was it lack of confidence, your weight, the way you dress, your attitude, and type of actions you may have done that might give the woman the impression that being friends is the best you two will ever be. You have to figure out first what it was that caused you to go in to the friend zone.


You don't have to do anything wrong. And whatever put him in the friendzone is probably something he can't change. Let's be honest with out, when you're in the friend zone you're basically Mr. Safety net. You're nice enough for her to keep you around, but not good enough for her to put you in prime time. The friend zone is all about giving a woman power. If there is no romantic attraction, then sure you can be friends. But if there isn't one, you may as well chalk it up as a loss and be done with her. In my opinion, the friendzone is relationship purgatory. You're everything to a woman, yet nothing at all. You're pretty much the "catch all" for everything that could possibly be wrong with the woman, as you become her 'big brother', which means 'I'm the guy I can complain to for all my problems, even male problems'. There is a certainly lack of integrity being a friend zone guy. I would tell any guy who got friend zoned by a girl who needs to get out to learn how to respect himself.
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:12 PM
 
10,024 posts, read 9,735,965 times
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I disagree because I believe in friends first. Not saying that we have to be best friends off the bat but just enjoy spending time together whether there is attraction or not.

Btw when I saw the guy I liked I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said yes. I don't want him to think I am not interested but also want to go slowly with him since he is shy and apparently very inexperienced.
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