Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
1. I will never date someone who uses a coupon on the first date. I mean wtf
2. I always offer and 99% of the time I'm told to put my money away (except for retard guy who made me pay my own way after chasing me for 3 weeks and continues to contact me on POF begging to see me again)
So..........is it all in the presentation?
It can be awkward and confusing. When I began dating back in the dark ages, it was standard that men pay. Just the way things were. Later, dating in college most of the guys I dated were broker than I was so it wasnt anything to split the tab or for me to pay. After being married for so long its difficult to know how to go about paying for an outing. A woman does not want to be too pushy or seem insincere. We don’t want to step on toes or be seen as a leech.
Most of it, I think, IS in presentation; but in truth, for all that there are a ton of guys in these forums who whine incessantly there CAN be something of an irritant to the whole dating/pay thing. I'm typically FINE with it, don't really even worry about it.
The one who cheerfully told me she was taking me out -- she was fun and vibrant, and she had a job far superior to mine, and when I was surprised at her offer she said "You know, women keep talking independence BUT seem to expect this of guys. I've sometimes wondered if it doesn't put some unnecessary pressure on you all. That, and I just got a major raise, so let's go live it up!"
As I suggested, she was a chipper sort.
The fact is that I really DOUBT most normal guys over a certain age worry about it; however, just as during the 70's when a lot of young women suddenly became overt and even antagonistic over such things, so a lot of young men these days are left uncertain of what they're supposed to do precisely because -- whether they like to hear it or not -- women DO kind of hold a double standard that it's difficult to meet.
If a guy insists on paying, he's "trying to control them" and "clearly expects something".
If he doesn't, he's a loser.
I was about to respond to Coolhand's post to me (I knew he meant his tongue-in-cheek, but even he admits there's a certain truth to it -- and I don't think any woman in these forums except a few kooks would dare label him misogynistic) regarding that sort of thing.
EDIT:
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain
1. I will never date someone who uses a coupon on the first date. I mean wtf
1. How many of you have actually used a coupon to pay for the first date? This question is probably more for the men but if a woman has done this - feel free to speak up!
No. I am a female. I wouldn't mind at all unless it's a McDonald's BOGO Free coupon since I eat out with restaurant.com certificates and coupons ALL THE TIME .
Quote:
2. How many of you have actually turned your head when they check came on the first date or made it clear in some other way that the paying of the bill was completely your date's responsibility and you were having no part of if. And a second part to that - once you made that clear, how many of you didn't thank the person for picking up the check? This is probably for the women but if there are some men that have done this - feel free to speak up?
I've never used a coupon to pay for the first date then again I don't pay for first dates or any dates.
I have made it clear on first dates and all dates that when the check comes it's completely his responsibility and I didn't thank him for picking up the check.
I'm trying to figure out why a person wouldn't thank someone for dinner. That is just plain rude.
I don't think I have ever used a coupon or had a guy use a coupon on a first date. It wouldn't bother me if they did. Why waste money?
When I went on dates I would usually offer to pay or go dutch. If refused, I would pay for the next part of the date. My first date with Mr. Beagle lasted four days. We alternated paying.
Dating or not, I always thank someone who buys me dinner.
I know these things have been beaten to death - but I'm SOOOO curious about this. This isn't really meant to be a debate thread - I have 2 simple questions.
1. How many of you have actually used a coupon to pay for the first date? This question is probably more for the men but if a woman has done this - feel free to speak up!
i did it once recently. i won free tickets for 2 to a place i'd never been ... asked a girl out.. and she actually suggested that we go there, not knowing i had the tickets.
hey, i wasn't going to not use them.
Quote:
2. How many of you have actually turned your head when they check came on the first date or made it clear in some other way that the paying of the bill was completely your date's responsibility and you were having no part of if.
I would think pulling out a coupon on the very first date would mean death to an opportunity of having/getting a second date.
It's one thing to be a engaged or married couple trying to save a few bucks, but a whole other story in the case of a single male trying to make a good impression on a very first date. Doubtful it would impress, fly, or appeal to most females.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
