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Old 10-18-2012, 01:05 PM
 
26,694 posts, read 14,467,047 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoDoubt1993 View Post
Yes, I would have found it weird. And inappropriate, considering he is MARRIED.

I also disagree with the PP above me who says, "married or not is not your concern." It most certainly is IF YOU HAVE MORALS.

Morals? When do people have morals? If people have morals, they wouldn't get divorced because they have promised to stay together when being married. If people have morals, they wouldn't have sex before marriage. Heck, the OP shouldn't even be talking to a married man during midnight.

The point I was trying to make is that his marriage is his concern, not yours and don't make it yours.

If the OP likes the guy and just wants to have some fun, do that. If the OP is looking for a long term relationship, then he's not your guy.
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:02 PM
 
94 posts, read 101,642 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
I'd wonder how/why he happened to have your cell number if he wasn't a friend.
Just because my job was partly being an assistant to him and partly working on things away from his office, so he had to be able to call/text me when he wanted me to come and do something for him.


Thanks for the input, everyone! I was just curious for others opinions, because I'm just weird about things sometimes. And just to respond to the discussion about morals, I definitely would never think to do anything with a married man (and in this case it is a non-issue, since we live far apart)
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:19 PM
 
Location: NY metro area
7,796 posts, read 16,357,521 times
Reputation: 10808
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeatsEnvy View Post
Just because my job was partly being an assistant to him and partly working on things away from his office, so he had to be able to call/text me when he wanted me to come and do something for him.


Thanks for the input, everyone! I was just curious for others opinions, because I'm just weird about things sometimes. And just to respond to the discussion about morals, I definitely would never think to do anything with a married man (and in this case it is a non-issue, since we live far apart)
When you say far apart...is there a time difference meaning you're on the East Coast and he's on the West Coast?
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:23 PM
 
94 posts, read 101,642 times
Reputation: 16
No. There is a 1 hour time difference, but when I said 11PM, that was the time where he was. It was 10PM for me.
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:26 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,949,277 times
Reputation: 20084
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeatsEnvy View Post
haha yeah, I definitely wasn't flattered, just confused. I don't exactly think that it was a "booty call", considering that I moved veeery far away from where he lives and he knows that (his second text was asking about the new city). And honestly that was most of the convo (him asking questions about the city and my program and my roommate...stuff like that). The only slightly weird part was what I posted, so it wasn't really inappropriate, but just very weird.

Is there a time difference? Could explain the late hour on your end.

ETA: Boo. Importer beat me to it.

Nevermind.

I don't see anything too inapporpriate about it. Just a little strange.
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Corona the I.E.
10,137 posts, read 17,403,235 times
Reputation: 9138
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
I'd wonder how/why he happened to have your cell number if he wasn't a friend. I think he was testing the waters, he may have a trip planned in the future. If it were me, I'd ignore his next text's calls...Hope you didn't give him your address or anything.
Many employers allow people to use their personal cell and reimburse them for the bill.
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Old 10-18-2012, 09:49 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,454 posts, read 13,386,147 times
Reputation: 7783
If he was single and sent you that text there would be no issue. He is no longer your employer. The key of course, is he is married.
Cut all ties with him.
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Old 10-19-2012, 12:20 AM
 
Location: Ohio
3,437 posts, read 6,055,612 times
Reputation: 2700
Did some of your post get deleted or truncated? I get NO vibe from "single and in the city" ...

Maybe he was implying you are playing the field or something.
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Old 10-19-2012, 12:51 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,063 posts, read 106,986,186 times
Reputation: 115858
You were right to get a weird vibe from it. Really, he has no reason to contact you at all, since you don't work for him anymore. You have no reason to respond to his texts at all. Especially late night ones, and weekend ones. You're not his friend, you never were, so there's no earthly reason for him to be contacting you (let alone at 11pm), nor for you to respond.

If you do cut him off, it might be best not to put him down on future job applications as a reference. He thinks he can toy with you and call you anytime and say anything (this will probably escalate if you allow it to continue), thinking that he has you over a barrel to some extent, because of the future job reference/resume issue. Call his bluff. Ignore future texts/phone calls.

Jerk.
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Old 10-19-2012, 01:24 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,388,292 times
Reputation: 4957
He doesn't really deserve any explanations.

You don't have to be polite if you don't want to, especially since he texted randomly at 11 p.m., and he's married.

Show him the same level of courtesy- ignore it like it never happened. Awkward, I know.
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