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I think the question is a red flag. It denotes a definite hostility to women; a man who would ask that is likely the sort who rants and raves about women being "gold diggers."
Guys like this usually want more than they themselves can offer. I'd pass on men who ask me this question because it seems to often mean "I am nothing but expect the world".
Long story short, there's this guy at my new job who's been coming up to my area everyday for the past few days now to make conversation. He initially mentioned that he first saw me in the lobby and that I didn't speak to him (I saw him but didn't care to.) I am not attracted to him in the least, but I am polite and chit chat with him cordially about life in general. He brags alot about himself and I'm not the least bit impressed. I don't give any compliments, don't flirt, and don't give up too much about myself. He's a little older than I, and he's been trying to find out my age but I haven't told him. Yesterday he came up to talk again and in the middle of the convo, said to me "if I could have a quarter for as many women who throw themselves at me, I would have so many quarters...blah, blah, blah", lol. Needless to say that turned me way off. Anyhoo, I laughed it off with him and said nothing. Today, he came up again and mentioned that he wouldn't mind dating a woman who's no younger than her early to mid 30's because he has a daughter in that age range and basically wouldn't want to feel like a perv.
I have shared with him things I do with my family (outings out of the state...) and was giving him tips on how he could find a decent woman in his age bracket (he said there are none, lol), and telling him of actual social events he could attend to find potentials. Anyhoo, I noticed he's been coming up more and more frequently and today during conversation in sort of an annoyed tone, he just blurts out - "are you spoiled?" Huh? I didn't really know how to answer this because I've never been asked such a weird(?) question in my life and now I regret being nice and talking to him as I sense frustration and that he's going to be a pest. I don't like him and feel like he's trying to get me to show interest?
Ladies, have you ever been asked this question by a guy before?
Gents, why would a guy ask a woman this question?
Sounds like he's disappointed that you aren't taking his bate. Your obvious lack of interest, yet, friendly demeanor probably leads him to think that you are a naiive, sheltered little nice girl? IDK. Random guess.
His insulting you mirrors his frustrations of himself not getting things his way.
If his being around you is bothersome, I'd make an excuse and say "My boss has been getting on my case. I don't think it's a good time we talk. Have a good day!"
Bragging about anything is a tip-off re: jerk status. And you're right on about the no-boundaries part.
It sounds a little worrisome that he's already fantasizing about the company Xmas party. That, coupled with the fact that he's visiting your office more often, speaks to a bit of a fixation on you. Not a good thing. Could get creepy. I'd suggest cooling off to him consistently, being busy or out of the office running errands when he tends to stop by, and if he doesn't get the hint, draw boundaries via how you respond to him verbally. Guys like this tend to take advantage of women's lack of assertiveness, pushing the envelope more and more. So at some point, you may have to get assertive. I hope he has now power or influence over you or your office. Has anyone else in the office noticed his behavior toward you? It wouldn't hurt to get an ally, in case you might need one at some point.
Hey!
No, haven't made any allies as of yet who could be my second pair of eyes. Luckily, he doesn't have a high/powerful position in the company. Two of the heavy weights however have noticed his increasing trips upstairs because the other day when they saw him, he burst out laughing like he was nervous and busted and started implying that he was getting ready to head back to his desk because they now see him everytime he comes up.
I am going to take everyone's advice and nip this in the bud asap. I think I've done well so far but now I need to really show him that I'm not interested.
Oh Ruth, you have no idea...actually I meant he would sit there with his hips thrusting out..kinda sticking out his lower half. I think one of the managers had a conversation with him because he pretty much keeps his distance from all the women now and fortunately I'm on another floor so I only see him at meetings or if I have to actually go see my boss on that floor.
It's harassment when it's repeated and unwanted, especially when you make it clear. We have a very strict HR department so I didn't want to get rude or anything with him. He would bounce around from one woman to another. He never really said things that were extremely inappropriate but he definitely threw out little flirty comments. Whenever we have functions, the other ladies and I band together and steer clear of him lol. I think he was definitely spoken to because he keeps his conversations very, very short now. Everytime he would tap at my cubicle or knock on my office door, I would cringe. then he'd come in and sit down and I'd just keep typing away lol..then I started keeping my door closed lol...good luck with everything. There's nothing worse than being uncomfortable at work.
Wow, your guy sounds relentless. See, and the harder they "work" is what makes me believe that they're not good guys to begin with. What a creepo. You have the ignore button on permanent status I see...YASSSSS!
Thank you for all of your help and your well wishes.
I think the question is a red flag. It denotes a definite hostility to women; a man who would ask that is likely the sort who rants and raves about women being "gold diggers."
Yes! I picked up on that. I also get the sense that it's game on for him. I don't care though because I'm not playing.
Perfect timing! Now that pervo has been busted, I think you'll be seeing less of him. Sometimes all they need is for a manager to see them walking around a few times
Quote:
Originally Posted by MakeLoveNotWar
Hey!
No, haven't made any allies as of yet who could be my second pair of eyes. Luckily, he doesn't have a high/powerful position in the company. Two of the heavy weights however have noticed his increasing trips upstairs because the other day when they saw him, he burst out laughing like he was nervous and busted and started implying that he was getting ready to head back to his desk because they now see him everytime he comes up.
I am going to take everyone's advice and nip this in the bud asap. I think I've done well so far but now I need to really show him that I'm not interested.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MakeLoveNotWar
eewwww
LOL...yeah, it's kind of hard to describe how he sat without really going into details. Let's just say that if he wore a skirt or dress, the world would be able to see everything lol...
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