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Guys like this usually want more than they themselves can offer. I'd pass on men who ask me this question because it seems to often mean "I am nothing but expect the world".
Absolutely. I knew from jump that he wasn't about anything and he parades around like he's got so much going for himself, yet doesn't.
Long story short, there's this guy at my new job who's been coming up to my area everyday for the past few days now to make conversation. He initially mentioned that he first saw me in the lobby and that I didn't speak to him (I saw him but didn't care to.) I am not attracted to him in the least, but I am polite and chit chat with him cordially about life in general. He brags alot about himself and I'm not the least bit impressed. I don't give any compliments, don't flirt, and don't give up too much about myself. He's a little older than I, and he's been trying to find out my age but I haven't told him. Yesterday he came up to talk again and in the middle of the convo, said to me "if I could have a quarter for as many women who throw themselves at me, I would have so many quarters...blah, blah, blah", lol. Needless to say that turned me way off. Anyhoo, I laughed it off with him and said nothing. Today, he came up again and mentioned that he wouldn't mind dating a woman who's no younger than her early to mid 30's because he has a daughter in that age range and basically wouldn't want to feel like a perv.
I have shared with him things I do with my family (outings out of the state...) and was giving him tips on how he could find a decent woman in his age bracket (he said there are none, lol), and telling him of actual social events he could attend to find potentials. Anyhoo, I noticed he's been coming up more and more frequently and today during conversation in sort of an annoyed tone, he just blurts out - "are you spoiled?" Huh? I didn't really know how to answer this because I've never been asked such a weird(?) question in my life and now I regret being nice and talking to him as I sense frustration and that he's going to be a pest. I don't like him and feel like he's trying to get me to show interest?
Ladies, have you ever been asked this question by a guy before?
Gents, why would a guy ask a woman this question?
This guy sounds like a tool. But, my guess is that you aren't giving in to his charms and that makes you high maintenance. He thinks you're making him work too hard.
Just because somebody doesn't want you does not mean that they are spoilt, frigid...I can't believe some guys actually think like this. Seriously.
He is definitely going on ignore like Bellakin does to the guy in her office and if he continues to try me, I will report to HR if I must.
Sometimes you have to be aggressive (but in a professional way). Our HR department is very strict and everyone gets interviewed so we try to correct issues ourselves first by going to our managers. There's nothing worse than having an HR issue on your work record so as long as there isn't anything super inappropriate, the manager(s) will discuss the issue with the employee first. If it continues then HR gets involved. If you can easily see or hear him heading your way, pick up the desk phone and make like you're dialing a number or listening to voicemail. The guy in my office limits his conversations now and is basically a "hello" and "goodbye".
He sounds like he's annoyed that you haven't fallen for his suaveness (is that even a word? lol). I have a guy in my office like that. Some men seem to think they're a real prize and any sort of attention from a woman automatically makes them think they can make a move. It gives me dry heaves. Oh, and I don't think it's a general characteristic of all men or even most men.
Next time he starts talking just tell him you're very busy and can't talk. If he affirms his interest in you just tell him you're not interested.
Btw, his comment about the age range he wants to date was just...just...
Edit: If he's a co-worker and reports to your same manager, you may want to bring it to your manager's attention if he doesn't back off. He sounds like he's got one foot in the HR doorway.
And all I keep picturing is something like this...balding on his head but plenty of chest hairs sticking out the top of his shirt with just a few buttons undone. eww lol
Nice going with the stereotype. Probably fat too, right? We can just add that one to the long list of 'what makes a man creepy SIMPLY by his looks'.
Sounds like he's disappointed that you aren't taking his bate. Your obvious lack of interest, yet, friendly demeanor probably leads him to think that you are a naiive, sheltered little nice girl? IDK. Random guess.
His insulting you mirrors his frustrations of himself not getting things his way.
If his being around you is bothersome, I'd make an excuse and say "My boss has been getting on my case. I don't think it's a good time we talk. Have a good day!"
Professional and firm.
I think you hit the nail on the head. I must admit that I do have a naiive streak, and I don't think it helps that I have a young look about me, but I do have a few years on this earth and some solid experiences under my belt that I don't think many-a-men would ever suspect.
He isn't the first guy that's treated me like this. I've literally had 2 guys trying to break/wear me down on a job a few years ago to the point where I had to leave. I know it might sound weird but the pressure was too much and I wasn't going to give in, and decided that my best bet would be to just move on. It felt horrible afterward because I felt bullied and confused but promised myself that after that experience, I would never ever let someone do that to me again. Now here I am. One of the last two guys had an attitude just like this new guy. An attitude of entitlement, and he actually asked me to take him to lunch....wah??? I just pretended I didn't hear him.
Perhaps I come across weak to these guys and they think I'm just someone to be toyed with. *shrugs*
These experiences are really helping me to get better in dealing with these types, hence the situation I'm in (and going to get out of real soon) now. I can't stand it but have come to accept that maybe my look, demeanor and politeness is what draws them in?
This guy sounds like a tool. But, my guess is that you aren't giving in to his charms and that makes you high maintenance. He thinks you're making him work too hard.
Right, and maybe a little high maintenance I am and that's my right. I've worked hard for what I have, to develop who I am, and he's just not anyone I want to mingle with.
Sometimes you have to be aggressive (but in a professional way). Our HR department is very strict and everyone gets interviewed so we try to correct issues ourselves first by going to our managers. There's nothing worse than having an HR issue on your work record so as long as there isn't anything super inappropriate, the manager(s) will discuss the issue with the employee first. If it continues then HR gets involved. If you can easily see or hear him heading your way, pick up the desk phone and make like you're dialing a number or listening to voicemail. The guy in my office limits his conversations now and is basically a "hello" and "goodbye".
Oh so he's been reduced to a "hello" and "goodbye"? Ha!
Don't worry, I'm taking notes on everything you guys are telling me.
He sounds like he's annoyed that you haven't fallen for his suaveness (is that even a word? lol). I have a guy in my office like that. Some men seem to think they're a real prize and any sort of attention from a woman automatically makes them think they can make a move. It gives me dry heaves. Oh, and I don't think it's a general characteristic of all men or even most men.
Next time he starts talking just tell him you're very busy and can't talk. If he affirms his interest in you just tell him you're not interested.
Btw, his comment about the age range he wants to date was just...just...
Edit: If he's a co-worker and reports to your same manager, you may want to bring it to your manager's attention if he doesn't back off. He sounds like he's got one foot in the HR doorway.
And all I keep picturing is something like this...balding on his head but plenty of chest hairs sticking out the top of his shirt with just a few buttons undone. eww lol
lol, no! He's actually got a very in-shape physique (he brags about how he runs every Saturday in his Nike gear...hahaha), guns protruding from button-down shirt and all. Not a bad looking guy by a mile, and although I don't really care much about looks, he doesn't fit facial-wise what would be my ideal in a guy. I guess this is the reason he feels I am supposed to drop at his feet??? Because he's got a nice body and a decent job? Tsk...tsk...tsk...sad that people don't realize that some of us actually want more than that. Maybe a good personality? An attitude of humility?
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