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I don't know - I think I'd hate myself so much that even if he was still attracted to me - I probably wouldn't believe him. I have issues - I know.
I totally know how you feel! If someone suddenly becomes not attracted to you based on a few pounds, what's to say he won't leave if you get cancer and have to have a double masectomy? Or lose a limb in a car crash? Or if you get diagnosed with a disorder like mine (until recently, most people didn't get diagnosed until their 40s or so).
Once my ex told me he wasn't physically attracted to me anymore, there is not a damn thing that could have convinced me otherwise. I could have dropped 50 lbs and I still wouldn't be convinced.
You can't force a person to be attracted to you. In a marriage, tho, ideally a spouse will be supportive and helpful with whatever issue that is happening. If weight needs to be lost and tone needs to be gained, they should get busy together imo.
True and 40-50lbs doesn't just pop up over night. This issue should be addressed before it gets to a point where it's a major dealbreaker.
I totally know how you feel! If someone suddenly becomes not attracted to you based on a few pounds, what's to say he won't leave if you get cancer and have to have a double masectomy? Or lose a limb in a car crash? Or if you get diagnosed with a disorder like mine (until recently, most people didn't get diagnosed until their 40s or so).
Once my ex told me he wasn't physically attracted to me anymore, there is not a damn thing that could have convinced me otherwise. I could have dropped 50 lbs and I still wouldn't be convinced.
stop it with the few pounds argument. I specifically said, it is strictly based on not eating healthy, and not going to the gym. they gained 30, 40 ,50 100lbs, not just a few pounds. I said that because I know there would be people who try to bring that into the debate.
If you think depression is a "lame excuse," well, I could understand why she might be depressed being with you.
Every major weight gain I've had has come after major trauma in my life or a major lifestyle change (like taking on a 3-4 hour commute). The only time I ever lost weight due to bad stuff happening... well, it was really bad stuff. People don't just start putting on weight for nothing, and if they can't put the brakes on it, well, there's something going on, either psychologically or physically. I'd like to think if it happened to me and I was with someone, they would be interested in getting to the bottom of it.
You can't force attraction, but I think by cultivating a bit of empathy and concern - rather than self-righteous disgust - attraction can be preserved a bit longer. As in "I love this person and I'm worried about her. How can I help?" rather than "Why is she letting herself go? I haven't let myself go. I still look good. I deserve better."
I want to be clear about this post. I'm talking about not going to the gym and not eating health. i'm also talking about weight gain of 30, 40, 50, 100lbs. We're not talking about a few lbs, no car crashes, no depression, nothing else but eating healthy, and going to the gym.
I don't want this thread to get hijacked, i'm talking about being lazy. No medication issues, no depression, strictly eating habits and not exercising.
You should have clearly stated this is your original post instead of mentioning depression and other LAME MEDICAL REASONS.
stop it with the few pounds argument. I specifically said, it is strictly based on not eating healthy, and not going to the gym. they gained 30, 40 ,50 100lbs, not just a few pounds. I said that because I know there would be people who try to bring that into the debate.
I would be more irritated with the not eating healthy and not caring about themselves. It's a health thing, not a weight thing. People who are underweight can be just as unhealthy as people who are overweight.
I want women's opinion on this one, would you be upset if your boyfriend/husband did not find you attractive after weight gain. When I say weight gain, I'm talking about 40, 50, 60, 100lbs. It was not due to depression or some other lame excuse. I'm talking about strictly a refusal to eat healthy, and not going to the gym, nothing else.
This may come out shallow but here goes: I had a long term boyfriend who did gain a large amount of weight within a year of meeting him. His weight gain depressed me! I tried to get him back on the right track with exercising (which he quit doing and he claimed that was the reason for his weight gain), while making him healthier meals so he'd cut back on the pizzas and cheesecakes. Nothing I tried worked so after several years, I'd had enough because I felt he was a bad (eating) influence in my life.
I can totally understand the frustration when a guy finds his girlfriend not attractive (but was when he met her) after a significant weight gain accompanied by a bad attitude regarding the issue.
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Reload this Page Women's opinion: weight gain = physical attraction
