what's wrong with me ??? (girl, sex, seeking, feeling)

[Djuna]

Stop putting out.
Go to therapy to start working on your self esteem issues.

Players and users always manage to pick up the scent of a desperate woman.

[Lilac110]

Originally Posted by elina 002

am i an easy girl or just some men are so fake ????? i m ruining my life. i m tired from being alone and single. i had a date with an awesome guy and i end up having sex with him. I dunno if he likes me or he just fake it to have sex with me. i m so stupid and im crying so much right now. I like this guy so much. He didn't text me after i had sex with him. i know i did a big mistake. What should i do now to make myself feel better? I feel like a ****. i m falling for this guy and i dnt want him to know im such a weak easy girl. i do really wanna have a good relationship with him. What should i do ? please help me

Put it to you this way: Why would you want a relationship with a man who would pump and dump?

I don't usually say this, because I know for a fact that quite a few people who have sex on the first date move on to good relationships and even end up married, but for you, I would suggest that you make yourself two rules:

1. No sex until the fourth date or later. In other words, no sex on the first three dates. And they have to be real dates, where you go out and do something together. None of this "come over and hang out" crap, which is what people do when they want to hook up. Likewise, no "come over and watch a movie" or "come over and play video games." Any time a man wants to come over or have you come over in the first few get-togethers, it pretty much means "hook up."

2. No getting drunk on a date until after you are in a relationship, and you know you are in a relationship because you have both sat down and said, CLEARLY, that you are now boyfriend and girlfriend. If you are just dating with no exclusive commitment, have ONE drink with a meal. After that, stop.

[14Bricks]

Originally Posted by elina 002

am i an easy girl or just some men are so fake ????? i m ruining my life. i m tired from being alone and single. i had a date with an awesome guy and i end up having sex with him. I dunno if he likes me or he just fake it to have sex with me. i m so stupid and im crying so much right now. I like this guy so much. He didn't text me after i had sex with him. i know i did a big mistake. What should i do now to make myself feel better? I feel like a ****. i m falling for this guy and i dnt want him to know im such a weak easy girl. i do really wanna have a good relationship with him. What should i do ? please help me

How old are you? You better get yourself together before you end up doing porn or working in a strip club.

[Davros]

Wish the OP would follow up on this post, clarify some of our "questions" for us.

I think she's gotten some pretty good advice. I really liked blazejen's post. I hope the OP listens. She needs to develop better self-esteem !

[Chowhound]

Get a little courage and stand on your own a bit. You come off as weak and desperate.

I mean this to help, not put you down.

[BradPiff]

At least She puts out

[Corazon12]

Originally Posted by KenFL

Please clear some questions up...

On your first date you had sex with him?

Did you know him for any length of time before, or just met and went on the date?

How well did you get to know each other?

Has he broken all contact with you?

I agree with KenFL...those are some good clarifying questions for the OP.

[Nite Ryder]

elina,

When in doubt, re-read Lilac110, post #12. I doubt that you will find much better advice any where.

[HansProof]

Don't feel bad, some of us like the dirty girls

[KenFL]

My dear, I just looked at your profile and your posts. There is definitely some issues here... To recap-



Mid August, your 2 year, long distance relationship, verbally abusive, anger issues, 'fiance' wants to get back with you after you moved from Cal to Ohio to be with him, he started 'dirty texting' other girls, you destroy $3000 of new furniture that you bought, and move back to Cal. So he wants to get back with you but he doesn't want anything known publically due to what his mother and 'people' would think... You profess that you are deeply in love with him and wanted a fairy tale wedding...

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post25678278



//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post25746937





Mid September, You meet 'Tom' at the beach and he wants to hang out with you later that night but your friend grabs phone and wants him to bring his friend for her, so Tom cancels. It appears that Tom wanted to be alone with you... 2 hours after talking to you on phone, he does not answer your texts anymore.

(I wonder why after just meeting you that day, he only wanted to be alone with you... Read between the lines, if a man has true interest in you, should be no problem having a couple of others around until you get to know each other better...)

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post26113801



End September, you met a guy at beach, didn't say if Tom or not. You hung out, had sex and he was going to teach you how to surf... However, you have to always contact him and he doesn't always answer your texts and now you are worried...

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post26297367



First October, assuming it was the guy from above, you hang out, he taught you how to surf and you had sex 2 weeks after meeting him. Now he ignores you and doesn't want pics of he and you posted publically.

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post26337402



Still first Oct, you get arrested for disorderly conduct for being drunk while walking down the street, wearing a short skirt, you bend over to remove your shoes and the cop says that you were 'showing your butt'... You spend 8 hours in jail, have court in 30 days which may affect your student visa. You are 20 years old. (It seems there would be a bit more to it than just that,...I'm just saying...)

//www.city-data.com/forum/legal...l#post26427458



Mid October, you go over to your neighbors house to see a guy named Ryan that you are dating. He is asleep in his room, so you stay and hang out with his friends who were all drinking/drunk there when they start humiliating you, asking why you are there, telling you to leave... (Quite a bit odd that college boys would do that to a 20 yo college girl. Not typical at all, something seems to be missing...)

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post26506724

Same thread, you say that you have been seeing Ryan for 2 months (According to my math, that would mean you started seeing each other mid August, not sure where Tom and the potential other guy was, not to mention the exfiance...)

//www.city-data.com/forum/relat...l#post26507254



My take on this? You are not going to want to hear it...



You are in this country on a 'student visa' which, IMHO, means that you should be concentrating on your education, and not chasing guys and partying, as you are a guest here with a purpose and obligation... If you want to party, it's called a tourist visa and its good for 6 months, no obligations, merely abid by our laws and leave or reapply when it expires...



Being arrested... Cops don't arrest young ladies for merely taking their shoes off... Really, ...they don't...

Young men don't run young ladies off for no reason... Really, they don't...



It seems that for whatever reason, guys don't want to be associated with you in a public fashion, and you seem to always have to chase them, then they ignore you, then you ask for help here...



It seems obvious that you are leaving many details out...



Step away from partying, chasing guys, keep your legs closed and do what you are here for,...concentrate on your education...and learning a bit of self respect wouldn't hurt either... You are not going to find a principe azul like this...



I am sorry to seem cold and blunt, however the obvious is obvious... Good luck in your endeavors and let us know what happens in court...