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That guy sounds nutty as heck. Oh well she married him right? Did she not notice he was a weirdo before they said I do? Usually where there is smoke...kwim? Sigh...why do we women do this? Ignore all the signs of danger and then feel surprised when our instincts are correct? Well she can submit (be a fool) or put her foot down...he will change or they will break up.
The first time he demands this, it is his fault. The second time he demands it, it is her fault. Because any treatment of her as anything less than an equal in a marriage should be met decisively. I mean, if she wants to be a SAHM, more power to her. But if she is being coerced into being a SAHM when she doesn't want to be and it makes financial sense for her to do work (Big factor. We realized that, at one point, my wife was basically working to pay for day care and professional wardrobes. So she became a SAHM for four years), then he doesn't get to demand she become Donna Reed.
I agree because this man has been acting like this for a while if he felt bold enough to pull her gown down and insist she nurse that baby. People don't change overnight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
I have one more thought on this.
The first time he demands this, it is his fault. The second time he demands it, it is her fault. Because any treatment of her as anything less than an equal in a marriage should be met decisively. I mean, if she wants to be a SAHM, more power to her. But if she is being coerced into being a SAHM when she doesn't want to be and it makes financial sense for her to do work (Big factor. We realized that, at one point, my wife was basically working to pay for day care and professional wardrobes. So she became a SAHM for four years), then he doesn't get to demand she become Donna Reed.
I have a hard time believing he didn't show signs of this before they were married, and I would hope that they talked about what would happen when they had a child long before he even proposed.
Nonetheless, he's warped and needs to get his head examined. If he doesn't, and she stays with him, she needs to get her head examined, too.
I have a hard time believing he didn't show signs of this before they were married, and I would hope that they talked about what would happen when they had a child long before he even proposed.
Nonetheless, he's warped and needs to get his head examined. If he doesn't, and she stays with him, she needs to get her head examined, too.
Yeah I have a hard time believing that too.
One thing I'm not really clear on....there was no discussion or preparation about feeding the baby before the baby was born? No classes, books or buying of supplies...that just seems really strange to me. It seems those typical activities would have prompted some discussions.
How do I know?
I don't know.
I'm just going on years of experience dealing with these kind of people and this kind of situation.
Yanking her shirt down and pushing the baby on her?
That's...already borderline right there.
yes, that is abnormal.
if the woman was truly afraid of him she would have done what he instructed without the need for him to physically assist. A simple glance would have been enough to prompt compliance.
My dad never had to result to yelling or smacking us kids to get us to do what he wanted. OTH, my mom had to scream, throw, and slap her way to kiddie compliance.
Honestly, this sounds like some sort of freaky erotic fetish than it does true physical abuse....does he ask to suckle her milk too?
I am astounded by this one. A friend of mine just had her first child and her husband has become very controlling. It started right after birth. She wasn't sure she was going to breastfeed but her husband in the delivery room pulled down her gown and put the baby to her breast. She eventually decided to nurse because her husband insisted it, though she was leaning against him. However it gets creepier than that though where he insists at home she breastfeed without a top on all the time saying the skin contact is better. She does this instead of arguing.
If that isn't weird enough he's insisting she quit her job (she's on leave)to be a stay at home mom and bullying her about it. In his world his mom and his sister were stay at home moms and so his his sister in law (brother's wife). He makes good money so technically she could quit but she loves her job and worked hard for it He said though having a wife at home then homeschooling is important to him. He also wants her to be nude in the house and he said he's always believed marriage was where he works, and comes home to a wife who caters to him.
I think this is creepy and I told her to stick her ground and leave if need be (she makes enough to support herself). She is confused because she loves him.
Stories like this are scary to me because before she was pregnant her husband was sane and proud of her job. Now he's acting like a domineering man.
Mod Note: Moved from Parenting forum
He sounds very old fashioned, but without knowing more, I wouldn't call him creepy. Some women are more than happy to be submissive housewives, but if that's not what she really wants, she should say so.
I agree because this man has been acting like this for a while if he felt bold enough to pull her gown down and insist she nurse that baby. People don't change overnight.
Yep. I mean, I'm not that way, but if I had said something like that to MrsCPG, she would have clocked me with a skillet.
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