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My grandfather cried his eyes out when my grandmother died and he slept with his mistress on his wedding night. My grandparents marriage was out of convenience so the rules were set. My grandmother knew what to expect.
I have some relatives by marriage that were in quasi arranged marriage. We were at a funeral and my step dads aunt was talking about being married off as an early teen. They were recent immigrants and apparently it was quite common. She apparently never really liked her husband but they stayed together anyway
I know this is a longtime ongoing thread, but I just saw it today. Here's what I think. I have ZERO tolerance for cheating, lying, egotistical men. Also, no one can pay me $1 million to say that deep down, a cheating husband really loves his wife. A man who truly & deeply loves his wife will NEVER EVER cheat on her at all...it's as simple as that, end of story!
Your grandfather cried during the funeral & probably cries and/or feels sadness from time to time about his late wife because of a combination of these:
- sudden pangs of guilt here & there for how horribly he treated her all those years, meaning the multiple affairs. A man doesn't have to hit his wife or cuss her out for her to feel hurt. Her seeing with her own eyes & knowing that he's with other women I'm sure deeply saddened her heart & soul like nothing else on earth.
- he cried to put on a show in front of the other funeral-goers. After all, he doesn't want to appear like this heartless b@$t@rd in front of everyone.
- simply just knowing that his wife won't be around anymore. Hey, even a drug addict will miss his next fix of dope if he hasn't had it in a while. I'm using this little analogy because it's not like there's deep, true genuine love there. An addict is so drugged out, that he feels his body just needs more dope.
- his heartless @ss was hoping to kill her off sooner than the breast cancer, so it can be considered an accidental death so he can cash out more on her death. He's crying because the cancer beat him to the punch!
Quote:
Originally Posted by JMQC
He hasn't had mistresses for a few years but he was really good looking when he was younger.
Do you live with him to know that he hasn't had a mistress for a few years? How do you really know for sure? I wouldn't even bet a lousy $5 on that.
My grandparents were married for 54 years. For decades my grandfather had a revolving door of mistresses. He always had an eye for pretty women and wouldn't let the best ones escape (he was extremely good looking when he was younger and up to his 50s). He was a very hard worker, very responsible when it came to the children (even though he was mostly absent) and never mistreated my grandmother. She was in charge at home and he complied. Her word was law.
My grandmother always knew but stayed in her position as a faithful and dedicated wife and mother. She didn't work and was completely dependent on him. She was also very religious and came from an ultraconservative family, so there was no choice but to keep the marriage.
Even as kid I remember sometimes seeing my grandfather in the car with much younger women.
She died just over a year ago from breast cancer. The other day I noticed that my grandfather, always a very arrogant, masculine, full of himself type of guy, now has a picture of her on his desk in the studio. He still doesn't allow anyone to sit in her place at the table.
At her funeral, I couldn't believe when I saw him washed in tears, totally devastated. I mean, this sounds cruel, but now he can have all the women he wants (sure he's old but he has the money). Why be such an hipocrite in the end?
Fifty four years of marriage, there are a lot of memories..
Human emotion is fragile and we will never know what two people went through together as a couple. I always believe there are different kind of love in the world. Maybe your grandpa had true love towards your grandma, he was just a free spirit of some kind. I try not to judge..
As a man who lives almost identically the same life as the man you are describing, I can admit without hesitation that in spite of my lifestyle, I consider my wife to be second-to-none. No other woman could ever be regarded as her equal. I am certain that if I outlive her, that I would respect her in the same manner as this man.
It may confuse the average person. "How do you say you respect this woman so highly yet your actions would seem otherwise?". I cannot explain how, except that my love for her is different than one might imagine a typical husband has for his wife. One day after I am old and I die, I will have no explanation to my maker, but I will accept what is coming to me.
This man loved his wife. Maybe not in the traditional way that society demands he love her, but in his own way. She must have been an amazing and strong woman.
My grandparents also stayed together out of obligation just like 99% of couples at the time. Married in 1952, she got pregnant 3 times in the first 4 years and that was it. My grandfather could then live his life while she took care of my father and his brothers. He always respected her at home though. Her word was law.
She died 5 years ago and he still wears his wedding ring.
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