Why do some good looking people struggle to get dates? (Christian, family)
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i don't understand this at all. i'm talking about people who are involuntarily single. I have both male & female friends who are good looking but are always single and complaining about how noone is interested in them.
Even on CD it's the same. I've only been here a few months but i'm amazed at the number of people who are actually good looking in their profile pictures but can't seem to get dates to save their lives. What's the problem? Why is it so hard for you? I've heard older people say they can't understand why it's so hard for people now days to get dates now. Something's wrong. I've always thought if you're good looking then its easy & there's no reason why you should still be single.
someone explain
On a scale from 1 to 10, i'd give myself a 7 on a good day. Most of the ladies i go after are 5's and 6's. I've been single and getting rejected for years. So no, it's definitely not easy. Maybe if you are a 10 it's easy. But if you are a 7 and a guy, it's still very difficult. Being a female 7, i imagine it's a lot easier. You don't see too many 7 women who have trouble getting guys. The whole lots of sperm, fewer eggs thing again.
Other guys have called me ugly, including friends.
Women have laughed at me, but I can't recall any calling me ugly. I don't usually hit on or even associate with b@tches though. A couple have assumed I have never had a woman when I was younger even though I was full grown man. A number of guys have not so subtly implied that I can't get any women either.
Women are usually more reserved with insults than men. Usually.
I'm not sure about this one. I think that men & women are equally outspoken when it comes to insults, ( I've been torn to pieces by both), but women are slightly more malicious. In my experience it's almost like they can see into your soul and know just what to hit you with at the right time to get under your skin. This is why every time a woman stares at me I get nervous. I know she's analyzing me and planning her next insult. Men's insults never bother me though. I'm just like "whatever"
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Originally Posted by JetJockey
HA.
I get 'interesting looking' and I've actually gotten 'unfortunate looking' more than once.
lol
I had that one too a few years ago. I overheard it at a party.
You're not in that category, though. You actually need to stop putting yourself down, because you're not one of us. It annoys me when people who are clearly not ugly/unattractive believe that they are. Stop it.
Sometimes I wonder about the type of men some of you gals hang out with.
I mean, even the more shallow guys in my circle who might call a woman fat or ugly behind her back would never do it to her face.
I mean I get laughed at by random drunken idiots in bars and clubs, which I don't even go to much anymore. So I don't care.
Random strangers I encounter and definitely not in a friendly manner. Last time was at a video arcade (that is for 21+ as they sell beer and wine) I was at playing video games with a few friends.
Interestingly, I've worked in nearly all male professions and that doesn't help either. Seeing men in their 'natural environment' surrounded by other guys has almost completely destroyed wanting to date for me. Plus, I'm just 'one of the guys' and they treat me as such. Guys wouldn't date their guy friends, why would they date me?
Men in their natural environment are rather disgusting. Decorum is unmanly. This applies throughout the socio-economic spectrum, though it does diminish (but not go away entirely) with age. Once you get past the "openness" towards bodily functions (urgh), one really comes into full contact with culturally ingrained sexism/misogyny. Those "eggheaded ivory-tower ultra-librul feminazis" do have a point in that. I've heard some pretty foul comments in my time, with the worst coming from young Australians. You got the rare opportunity of getting a VIP pass to our wonderful world.
Being bisexual, I do at times get the VIP pass to discussions amongst women that straight men normally wouldn't have access. Not all of what I hear is great, but at least there's no farting.
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1. They are of a disposition that can't abide parties or clubs and find them excruciating.
2. They are shy and appear remote and people assume that they are snobs b/c of that.
3. They work in an industry that doesn't have much dating prospects and while many on here are opposed to dating co-workers, the fact is that a lot of people meet their partners that way.
4. They have weird and eccentric interests like butterfly collecting or playing polka on the accordion.
5. Because people view them as snobbish, they have often been treated poorly and if people aren't trying to talk to them then how would they know if they're good looking? Looking into a mirror doesn't help b/c you're only as good looking as your mood.
6. They may have that "married" look about them, and people assume that they're taken.
7. They don't know how to approach others or how to look approachable.
8. They might have a high IQ and may not relate well to those who don't and may be downright intimidating, w/o ever having the intention to do so.
I can have far too many of these attributed to me. My interests are weird/eccentric/uncommon (languages, folk music, fairly extensive accomplished travel, history, investing, and international relations, on top of classically nerdy stuff like computer games, general reading, and technology). I've been called weird both to my face and behind my back. I am also very reserved and come off cocky/snobbish/cold/unapproachable/severe/guarded. They're not unfounded assumptions, and friends have noted that they are surprised by the depth of sentiment after having given me a chance. (Severe bullying growing up made the austere exterior a functional necessity) To further compound my problem is stilted speech. By virtue of having no friends and being so antagonised at school to the point where I kept social interaction to an absolute minimum, I never internalised slang to the point where its use is natural to me. Now consider a high IQ, a 30 lbs overweight body I struggle against on a daily basis, and a reviled sexuality. I've got an uphill battle.
On a scale from 1 to 10, i'd give myself a 7 on a good day. Most of the ladies i go after are 5's and 6's. I've been single and getting rejected for years. So no, it's definitely not easy. Maybe if you are a 10 it's easy. But if you are a 7 and a guy, it's still very difficult. Being a female 7, i imagine it's a lot easier. You don't see too many 7 women who have trouble getting guys. The whole lots of sperm, fewer eggs thing again.
Interesting, I consider myself a 5 on the looks scale (Only because I have not reached my full potential. My full potential would probably be a 5.5 -6) and women have always been nice to me, especially recently. Just the last week a couple of women walked up to me at different times and was like "OMG!!! You are so handsome!" I even got the "B" word.
I think it might be the area you live in. I live in East Valley Arizona, women seem to be nicer here.
Men in their natural environment are rather disgusting. Decorum is unmanly. This applies throughout the socio-economic spectrum, though it does diminish (but not go away entirely) with age. Once you get past the "openness" towards bodily functions (urgh), one really comes into full contact with culturally ingrained sexism/misogyny. Those "eggheaded ivory-tower ultra-librul feminazis" do have a point in that. I've heard some pretty foul comments in my time, with the worst coming from young Australians. You got the rare opportunity of getting a VIP pass to our wonderful world.
Being bisexual, I do at times get the VIP pass to discussions amongst women that straight men normally wouldn't have access. Not all of what I hear is great, but at least there's no farting.
I can have far too many of these attributed to me. My interests are weird/eccentric/uncommon (languages, folk music, fairly extensive accomplished travel, history, investing, and international relations, on top of classically nerdy stuff like computer games, general reading, and technology). I've been called weird both to my face and behind my back. I am also very reserved and come off cocky/snobbish/cold/unapproachable/severe/guarded. They're not unfounded assumptions, and friends have noted that they are surprised by the depth of sentiment after having given me a chance. (Severe bullying growing up made the austere exterior a functional necessity) To further compound my problem is stilted speech. By virtue of having no friends and being so antagonised at school to the point where I kept social interaction to an absolute minimum, I never internalised slang to the point where its use is natural to me. Now consider a high IQ, a 30 lbs overweight body I struggle against on a daily basis, and a reviled sexuality. I've got an uphill battle.
One of the best posts I've read in this thread thus far.
Interesting, I consider myself a 5 on the looks scale (Only because I have not reached my full potential. My full potential would probably be a 5.5 -6) and women have always been nice to me, especially recently. Just the last week a couple of women walked up to me at different times and was like "OMG!!! You are so handsome!" I even got the "B" word.
I think it might be the area you live in. I live in East Valley Arizona, women seem to be nicer here.
The B word...might I inquire as to what that is? Somehow I don't think it's bootylicious.
I'd give myself a 7 personally, in most settings. It's an arbitrary value but for the purposes of discussion I think it fits fine. There are certain settings where the people there do have certain height or ethnic preferences which are perfectly fair, and I simply don't match them, but that's normal for everyone I'm sure.
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Ew, I'm sorry, that's awful. What is wrong with people??
