There has got to be something wrong....! (family, American, Japanese)
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Maybe you seem "too together" for them. I had a crush on a guy once, and oh my gosh, it felt like he was waaay out of my league, 'cause he was just so awesome and perfect, and I know I'm not, so it felt like I had no business whatsoever thinking I had a chance with him. The mere thought of getting into a relationship with him sent me into a near panic attack. I wanted to run and hide whenever he showed any sort of interest in me because I had nightmares of him dumping me later on. Nothing ever came of us because of that and I beat myself up over it regularly.
Maybe these guys do what I did.
This may sound weird, but I can relate. There are quite a few women that I have seen and had some of the same reactions. Ironically, they turn out to be the ones that have interest in me.
hi! well, I don't think I appear desparate since I am not making any moves to pursue guys. We just happen to chat. I was interested in this guy at the start, but you're right that he's not a good match for me anyway.
I've been putting some people on notice that I'm available, but no returns! I've watied 8-going on 9-years now!! Sheesh!! I think I've been more than patient!!
I waited about 10 years after my divorce to find the perfect guy for me, don't give up and don't give in and settle. Patience is a virtue and well worth the wait in the end. I seriously don't think there is anything wrong with you at all the perfect guy for you just hasn't found you yet.
I met the OP and in person she comes across as fun, smart, easy going, and she is pretty! I have no clue why she's single! It was suggested to me that even though I didn't think I was coming across as desperate or over eager maybe I still was and I just wasn't aware of it. Maybe that's you too, OP? It seems like when I really like a guy I always end up getting burned. If I'm lukewarm or undecided he just can't seem to get enough, so even though I think games are silly, maybe there is something to be said for being somewhat aloof. Not to say you are mean to him or never show interest, but I know when I'm seriously into someone I make myself free when they want to see me, I make sure to answer their calls and texts promptly...there's a fine line there between not playing games but not always being too available.
It annoys me when people say you find someone when you're not looking or just be you and have fun without worrying about dating, but honestly I DO seem to have better luck when I decide to just let go and I don't care about dating. I think there could be some truth to the idea that if you try too hard and put too in too much effort that finding someone will always escape you.
I've met women who are surprised that I am single too. And like you say, Strawberry, I think I may have come across as too eager, too intense, too direct and too interested. Apparently both men and women are supposed to maintain a sort of mysterious charm, something which I've never been able to do.
It seems that all these people on CD who have trouble are like ships in the night, hitting icebergs but missing each other.
Perhaps that's why people do online dating...to increase the statistical likelihood you'll find somebody, because you can only physically meet so many people in a week, no matter how many activities you do.
Sounds like you are trying to settle for any Joe. By him not calling you back, is his way of telling you that you are too good for him. Why don't you make one of those lists of your "ideal match" and the universe will deliver..trust me it will. Don't be desparate and go just for anyone.
lol, thanks. Well, another thing I get is: you're so beautiful, like sports, can cook, etc, but still no one wants to be with me! If I'm so great, why is this?
It happens A LOT!! I go out and try to be myself, and I don't push myself on anyone, but I feel no one is coming along!! It's been 8 years of being single!!!!!!
Wow, something's definitely wrong. Like I said in the other thread, you are not a bad looking women. I don't know what to tell you.
well, those games like "be a b***h, and guys love you", or "pretend you don't like them, and they'll be all over you". Just don't work for me. I can't be a different personality than what I am, I think I present myself in an appropriate light.
I just want to be me! (isn't that a song or something?-lol)
Definitely don't do this. Just continue to be yourself.
Am I just not date-able?? I swear, I can't get a date to move past 1 or 2 to save my life!!! I meet a guy, it seems we get a long fine, then he just vanishes!!
I don't get it. I don't "hang out" in bars or clubs. I go to sporting events, bookstores, museums, travel, etc and I just can't meet anyone! Yes, I do go to sportsbars but only to watch the games and talk to my regular peeps.
Are guys just not interested in dating anymore? Or is it just me? I can't be that bad, can I? I think I have a good personality, I'm well-traveled, ok to look at, have a job, a car, a place to live, etc. I just can't meet anyone. The online thing doesn't work for me. It just seems no one is intereseted.
I do focus on other things, but lately I've been more sensitive to the fact that I'm lonely and wishing for a significant other!
Guys out there, any suggestions? Is there some sort of shift in the universe going on that no guys want to date??
At first glance it would be impossible to point out anything negative about you. Your posts are articulate and considerate; you're pursuing a topic with a "best interests" attitude rather than mouthing off or challenging, and you seem genuinely frustrated.
Then taking a look at your pic posted on your profile, you're extremely pretty. Your smile is open, your skin and features are (trying to avoid saying just yummy here, but oh well, go with it) wonderful, you have a fantastic body.
You like sports and cook (according to you), have a job, a home and a car...
Quite frankly I can't think of ANY reason for you to have dating difficulties, unless it's just regional.
This can be irritating and SEEM unrealistic; however, all the people who have ever known me well agree that I just really don't belong where I am, and while I'm a nice guy, intelligent and friendly, own a home -- there is that about this area with which I'll never truly be comfortable or entirely fit in. It's the sort of thing conveyed as much on an unconscious level as a conscious.
I dunno. **shrug** Maybe it's just where you are rather than you.
Yes, there can be a big difference. Ask HurricaneKid, who's living in the South. Check out his threads. Anyway, I was thinking: a more diverse population, also a more intellectual environment, maybe? Bigger population base, too, in those 3 cities I mentioned.
If she's looking for a black man, than she nees to move down south, that's where the largest population of black people live.(i.g. Houston, Dallas, New Orleans Atlanta, Charlotte, Florida)
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