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Ok, a branch of my other thread: Guys, can you tell me what type of woman you hope to meet when you decide to talk to her?
What do you want her to talk about?
Education, music, travel, life, people, food, etc.
Do you care if she has a job, car, home, etc?
If she doesn't have those things, then I must have a REALLY good job.
Does it matter what she's wearing?
Kind of. Dressing in a style that appeals to me would add points, but dressing badly wouldn't subtract. I also like to shop, so a woman who likes to shop is a plus.
What kinds of body language do you pick up on?
I'm terrible at that.
What signals do you hope to read from her?
Terrible, I say...
What makes you decide if you want to pursue her as a potential GF?
I don't know. The women I have gone for, I just feel they are warm, good people, and we have a connection. Most of those women have rejected me though.
What things about her would intimidate you?
Height, being non-Asian and attractive, and being a doctor.
Do you like it when you have to chase her?
No.
How do you decide if she's playing hard to get or really interested?
I don't. Not anymore. I give up at the first sign of rejection and move on. Chasing is not worth for me.
Maybe some answers to these questions would give me insight if I'm the problem? I will try to ask some guys at work I know if they have any answers as well.
I'm getting a sense that I may be doing the right things, but still not having luck. I'm back where I started? I am friendly, dress nice, show interest, good converstionalist, been told I'm attractive, etc. what else can I do??
Continue to be yourself is my best advice. If that's not good enough then oh well.
You are not alone as I think this dating game is hard for many, myself included.
Sportscangal, Ive seen you post several threads lately and you seem really eager to find a partner. You seem attractive,which is huge, so something else has to be off. You said in your previous post that you didnt act desperate and never talked about marriage, kids etc. My advice to you would be to be outcome independent, which is the type of advice id usualy give to guys. When you go on a first date, simply go to have a good time and dont bother thinking about second date or possible relationship down the road. Sometimes these types of non-verbal cues would push others away. Other than that, you can have a friend observe/listen in on your first date, so you can analyze it later. Some even video tape the entire meeting for the very same reason. You look fine, many guys should want to tap that ...lol
I'm getting a sense that I may be doing the right things, but still not having luck. I'm back where I started? I am friendly, dress nice, show interest, good converstionalist, been told I'm attractive, etc.
what else can I do??
can you describe the "type" of men you like, as well as the "type " of men who approach you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportsfangal
But several people have suggested I'm being too nice, or seem desparate if I laugh at a joke, or smile, or be myself.
So, I get mixed messages, be myself, or pretend to be something else?
i'm not sure if i understand. i mean have you tried just being nice to people, and if so, how did it work out?
Quote:
If I have a car, job, home: that's intimidating. If I travel: that's intimidating.
come on .. i don't know if you date farmers or what, but most white collar men aren't intimidated by things like that. If you read that on the internet its generally a rationalization that angry cat ladies offer when they scare away guys with their attitudes. don't be that person.
I'm getting a sense that I may be doing the right things, but still not having luck. I'm back where I started? I am friendly, dress nice, show interest, good converstionalist, been told I'm attractive, etc.
what else can I do??
Well, if men are not approching you, you might have to start apporching them. By that I mean go up to men you like and strike up a conversation. I looked at the pic in your profile, you're not a bad looking women.
Ok, a branch of my other thread: Guys, can you tell me what type of woman you hope to meet when you decide to talk to her?
Someone who is reasonable. I'll know her when I meet her. I go by the vibe
What do you want her to talk about?
Probably talk about the city / town, we are in.
Do you care if she has a job, car, home, etc?
Not in general...
Does it matter what she's wearing?
Not on all levels. However, certain appearances can get me aroused.
What kinds of body language do you pick up on?
Can't say...
What signals do you hope to read from her?
Signals of interest...
What makes you decide if you want to pursue her as a potential GF?
Overall compatibility
What things about her would intimidate you?
I'll only know when I face it.
Do you like it when you have to chase her?
Seeing as I don't like being chased, no.
How do you decide if she's playing hard to get or really interested?
Maybe some answers to these questions would give me insight if I'm the problem? I will try to ask some guys at work I know if they have any answers as well.
ha! yeah well I'm not into casual "tapping"!! LOL, I'm eager but not desparate, if that makes sense. I think it's because I've been single so long that I miss having a partner to do things with and for.
I'll try the first date thing, next time I get one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Sportscangal, Ive seen you post several threads lately and you seem really eager to find a partner. You seem attractive,which is huge, so something else has to be off. You said in your previous post that you didnt act desperate and never talked about marriage, kids etc. My advice to you would be to be outcome independent, which is the type of advice id usualy give to guys. When you go on a first date, simply go to have a good time and dont bother thinking about second date or possible relationship down the road. Sometimes these types of non-verbal cues would push others away. Other than that, you can have a friend observe/listen in on your first date, so you can analyze it later. Some even video tape the entire meeting for the very same reason. You look fine, many guys should want to tap that ...lol
Why don't you just worry about yourself, be yourself.
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