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The guy I've been dating casually for 7 months told me he didn't want anything serious at the moment.
It sucks that we share the same values and our time together is just fun and great, but he doesn't want things to be serious, even though we act like a couple. If you've seen 500 Days of Summer, it's a similar situation.
He's a very busy guy, sometimes he travels a lot for work and I can see why he says he's not ready for a relationship. We've been hooking up with other people in the meantime, but not really dating anybody else.
I told him I'm a person who gives all when I meet someone I connect with and that I expect the same for the other person, but he replied that he can't have anything serious right now because of his career. Maybe in the future, but not now. He wants to stay in the present and let things happen naturally, that there is no set time when someone becomes "girlfriend" or "boyfriend," but just let it go with the flow.
When I mentioned if I should also date other people, he said he didn't want to put any rules, and if I find another person it would "suck for him" and that if I decided to not be OK with not having something serious he'd understand, but it would be really sad because he really cares about me. At this point he cried for like 5 seconds.
Now, the only way I can accept all of this is if I keep him at arm's length and start dating others. To give him less attention. I honestly hate playing games, but is there anything I could do to make him want to commit or making him see that he's throwing away something really good?
When a guy is not ready - he is not ready, and putting any pressure on him will make things worse.
I don't think he is serious about this relationship.
You should end it and date other people. Make someone else happy, someone who will appreciate it and make you happy in return.
Your current relationship is going nowhere. You are just wasting your time.....
The guy I've been dating casually for 7 months told me he didn't want anything serious at the moment.
It sucks that we share the same values and our time together is just fun and great, but he doesn't want things to be serious, even though we act like a couple. If you've seen 500 Days of Summer, it's a similar situation.
He's a very busy guy, sometimes he travels a lot for work and I can see why he says he's not ready for a relationship. We've been hooking up with other people in the meantime, but not really dating anybody else.
I told him I'm a person who gives all when I meet someone I connect with and that I expect the same for the other person, but he replied that he can't have anything serious right now because of his career. Maybe in the future, but not now. He wants to stay in the present and let things happen naturally, that there is no set time when someone becomes "girlfriend" or "boyfriend," but just let it go with the flow.
When I mentioned if I should also date other people, he said he didn't want to put any rules, and if I find another person it would "suck for him" and that if I decided to not be OK with not having something serious he'd understand, but it would be really sad because he really cares about me. At this point he cried for like 5 seconds.
Now, the only way I can accept all of this is if I keep him at arm's length and start dating others. To give him less attention. I honestly hate playing games, but is there anything I could do to make him want to commit or making him see that he's throwing away something really good?
Please don't waste your time. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? That is one sided and it is bound to end bad. Just move on and if he comes around and thats something you want then go for it, but don't put your all into a guy that doesn't know what he really wants.
^^^Right. And this isn't new. I remember your other posts about him NOT wanting relationship with you. So, knowing that why are you prolonging this misery?
OP: You hate playing games yet you are on a public forum asking random strangers how to be the one who got away and show him he is throwing away something good?
Obviously he is not seeing you as a serious relationship option so it is time for you to decide how you want to live your life.
Also, try not to believe that he is only loyal to you, he could have a woman in every port...
I haven't seen 500 Days of Summer, but this sounds like an excellent way to go about getting your heart broken into a million pieces.
He is telling you as plainly and matter of fact as possible that he doesn't want you. The longer you stick around for his crumbs, the less respect he will have for you. It seems that you don't respect yourself or you would have forgotten about him by now. Lose him.
I haven't seen 500 Days of Summer, but this sounds like an excellent way to go about getting your heart broken into a million pieces.
He is telling you as plainly and matter of fact as possible that he doesn't want you. The longer you stick around for his crumbs, the less respect he will have for you. It seems that you don't respect yourself or you would have forgotten about him by now. Lose him.
But isn't saying "he doesn't want you" a bit fatalist? He loves spending time with me, romantically and sexually, he cares about me, he just doesn't think he can maintain something serious right now because of all the work and traveling.
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