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I've had a mix of experiences with men in this department. I have never waited long to have sex (although my new plan is to try that out!) and my statistics don't suggest that it made any difference in the length of the relationship or the affection of the man. I've had some really sweet boyfriends who I slept with soon, so I'm not so inclined to believe that it affects the man very much. I think the greatest effect is on the woman. After you have sex, you're going to feel attachment even if you weren't that into the guy. And it's going to hurt when that attachment is broken. So you think next time you'll be more careful who you get attached to.
If you as a man or woman have sex in the early stages of dating...as if it were like shaking hands- may as well be honest and not bother dating...hire a prostitute instead. Do not have sex with people you do not know - allow love to take place first...sex is the prelude to marriage. It is very important...If you have sex with someone quickly- it means that once you are settled in or married- You are more prone to have sex outside the relationship...In other words you will cheat...Sex is like gold..don't just toss it around like dirt.
If you as a man or woman have sex in the early stages of dating...as if it were like shaking hands- may as well be honest and not bother dating...hire a prostitute instead. Do not have sex with people you do not know - allow love to take place first...
You know, Oleg, I was about to find myself in (shocked) agreement with you, in the first part of your comment...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach
sex is the prelude to marriage. It is very important...If you have sex with someone quickly- it means that once you are settled in or married- You are more prone to have sex outside the relationship...In other words you will cheat...Sex is like gold..don't just toss it around like dirt.
... until the next bit, where you made another of your wild leaps onto unsubtantiated, hangup driven ground.
I am aiming this at women though I suppose this happens to men too. However so many women I know repeat this pattern: they go out with a guy and then they sleep with him. They wait for his call only to find out he was just using her as a booty call.
The fact is I have been used by men with regards to sex and it still angers me that I didn't realize it. It stinks when you see the man you think you are dating marrying someone else. So as a result I have vowed to be celibate until marriage or at least engagement.
You can only be used if you allow yourself to be. If I have sex early on it is because I want to have sex with the guy. I have no other expectations. If the relationship goes somewhere ok, if not, hey I got sex. I dont see how that could be considered being used.
Now if Im in a relationship and it is understood that we are exclusive and he cheats, thats a horse of a different color.
If the woman wants sex too, by all means, she should enjoy herself.
Hahahaha. K. We'll contact that one woman and let her know.
I love how the OP has vowed celibacy until engagement or marriage. Most women will agree with her. And in the next few seconds yet another dude will write in asking what are the best lines to use to get laid.
Classic. Say it with me people. Dating. IT AINT GONNA WORK.
You can only be used if you allow yourself to be. If I have sex early on it is because I want to have sex with the guy. I have no other expectations. If the relationship goes somewhere ok, if not, hey I got sex. I dont see how that could be considered being used.
Doesn't it hurt though when you have started to like him and want a relationship, and he doesn't want to see you anymore after sex? Do you still think, hey I got sex? I'm just asking with genuine curiosity. Cuz it hurts me like hell.
Doesn't it hurt though when you have started to like him and want a relationship, and he doesn't want to see you anymore after sex? Do you still think, hey I got sex? I'm just asking with genuine curiosity. Cuz it hurts me like hell.
I think some women can just enjoy it for what it is but I've learned the hard way I'm not one of them. I wish I was. Sometimes I feel pressure when I'm seeing a new person. It's so commonly accepted that you will be with someone in less than 5 dates that I feel like I'm some prude if I don't. I wouldn't wait until marriage or an engagement, I wouldn't wait six months, but from now on I'm waiting more than a handful of dates that's for sure. I learned my lesson, but women should do what feels right for them. Just never ever expect that sex will keep a guy around or a booty call can turn into a relationship. It usually doesn't.
Doesn't it hurt though when you have started to like him and want a relationship, and he doesn't want to see you anymore after sex? Do you still think, hey I got sex? I'm just asking with genuine curiosity. Cuz it hurts me like hell.
In a situation like this you're assuming because you've had sex with someone that you're already in a relationship. Women blame the sex when in reality it is a lack of communication with someone you've slept with.
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