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I think that a lot of us DO want to "bloom" as it were. And as you get older, it seems the avenues for that become fewer and fewer.
But thats the thing what is "blooming" really when you think about it. Its like saying everything else about you counts for squat if you are not taken part in relationships.
I feel its these arbitrary time frame of blooming that causes all this anxiety, I felt this for a while until I really thought about and paid it no mind. I still get annoyed at the term late bloomer because to me it just a way make a mountain out of the mole hill.
The puberty and "coming into one's own" curve varies for all people, be they men or women. For some, it's toward the beginning of high school, others at the end of high school, others in mid-college, others at the end of college, others in their mid-20s, others in their late 20s, and others even later. It could be explained solely by physical changes or, in other cases, it could be that someone took stock of things, and undertook some specific efforts to improve themselves. Sometimes, these changes are accompanied by noticeable personality changes, and sometimes the personality changes are minimal.
Do you agree with the notion that the timing of this "maturation" also affects subsequent relationships and related matters?
Yes, if I understand what you are saying, but I think the process of maturation is ongoing. It's not like there's a finish line to adulthood, where a person at 20 is the same at 40.
I think people who identify as wallflowers or "ugly ducklings" can have insecurity issues as a result, yes. I did.
The puberty and "coming into one's own" curve varies for all people, be they men or women. For some, it's toward the beginning of high school, others at the end of high school, others in mid-college, others at the end of college, others in their mid-20s, others in their late 20s, and others even later. It could be explained solely by physical changes or, in other cases, it could be that someone took stock of things, and undertook some specific efforts to improve themselves. Sometimes, these changes are accompanied by noticeable personality changes, and sometimes the personality changes are minimal.
Do you agree with the notion that the timing of this "maturation" also affects subsequent relationships and related matters?
I'm not really sure I follow - which variable are you using to determine maturation? Physical, emotional, or mental? Each variable matures at a different rate -one can be physically and mentally mature, but not emotionally, for example.
I'm not really sure I follow - which variable are you using to determine maturation? Physical, emotional, or mental? Each variable matures at a different rate -one can be physically and mentally mature, but not emotionally, for example.
Great observation/question. Chiefly physical; however, the others could affect how one carries themselves.
Great observation/question. Chiefly physical; however, the others could affect how one carries themselves.
In that case, I would say that there is a definite correlation between maturity and interpersonal relationships. How a person is able to function in a relationship is directly impacted by the culmination of experiences that said person has had. Therefore, if the person has hit puberty later, then I would think that they have had fewer opportunities to have romantic relationships, which would then impact their expectations.
If we're talking purely socialization - it's the same, except that there is a possibility that a culmination of negative experiences (mocking/teasing) could impact how well-adjusted this person is. Similarly, positive experiences.
In that case, I would say that there is a definite correlation between maturity and interpersonal relationships. How a person is able to function in a relationship is directly impacted by the culmination of experiences that said person has had. Therefore, if the person has hit puberty later, then I would think that they have had fewer opportunities to have romantic relationships, which would then impact their expectations.
If we're talking purely socialization - it's the same, except that there is a possibility that a culmination of negative experiences (mocking/teasing) could impact how well-adjusted this person is. Similarly, positive experiences.
Yes but couldn't that work in reverse. What are the expectations of someone who hit puberty "early" or at the"right" time which ever it is. Does fewer opportunities hold more limitations than someone with many? Does that make them more unrealistic than someone who has many and in what ways?
If you look at socialization would their be issues if the stigma attached to "late bloomer" was never applied?
If I sound condescending I don't mean to I think you made an astute observation about maturity and interpersonal relationships but we have to remember correlation does not imply causation.
Yes, but couldn't that work in reverse? What are the expectations of someone who hit puberty "early" or at the "right" time which ever it is?
It absolutely could (and often does) work in reverse. Early developers tend to have more time to get used past the awkwardness, whereas I would presume that late developers wouldn't. Late developers have to contend with the awkwardness of everyone around them maturing quicker, and then handling their own development and the awkwardness that comes with it. In that way, I think it might have a bigger impact.
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Does fewer opportunities hold more limitations than someone with many? Does that make them more unrealistic than someone who has many and in what ways?
I think what may make expectations unrealistic is not knowing what to expect. Imagine that you go your entire high school and college career without ever having a romantic relationship. What would you use as the model for any relationships that occur later in life?
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If you look at socialization would their be issues if the stigma attached to "late bloomer" was never applied?
If I sound condescending I don't mean to I think you made an astute observation about maturity and interpersonal relationships but we have to remember correlation does not imply causation.
You don't sound condescending at all. In fact, I think that these are very relevant counterpoints and issues to raise. I don't look so much at the stigma of "late bloomer" as I do the cruelty of adolescents, the awkwardness of growing up, and pure observation.
It absolutely could (and often does) work in reverse. Early developers tend to have more time to get used past the awkwardness, whereas I would presume that late developers wouldn't. Late developers have to contend with the awkwardness of everyone around them maturing quicker, and then handling their own development and the awkwardness that comes with it. In that way, I think it might have a bigger impact.
The problem I have with this is that it tends to imply that the early developers are at a higher maturity than the ones who are "late". It implies that the "earlier the better" which just adds more anxiety to the person who gets the late bloomer attachment.
I think what may make expectations unrealistic is not knowing what to expect. Imagine that you go your entire high school and college career without ever having a romantic relationship. What would you use as the model for any relationships that occur later in life? I don't need to imagine it.
Many people can look at relationships among their friends and family and can see what works and what doesn't. For example the person from a broken home goes on and has a successful marriage.
You don't sound condescending at all. In fact, I think that these are very relevant counterpoints and issues to raise. I don't look so much at the stigma of "late bloomer" as I do the cruelty of adolescents, the awkwardness of growing up, and pure observation.
I feel all the two you mention about adolescent cruelty and awkwardness are what make up the stigma about late bloomers. Overall its better to get an 360 perspective about this than an 180.
The thing that gets me is that romantic relationship overrides everything else. I get upset when I talk to guys or gals who have a lot to be proud and made great accomplishments but apparently since they had no romantic experience is all just mute and don't count for anything. I know that's not what your trying to say but it is a pet peeve of mine that and the attitude they have which come from both internal and external causes. The fact that all the blame is put on them but overarching attitude is not addressed that would make them feel this way. For person to be in a good relationship they have to be content with themselves and if this idea about hangs over them about who was early who was this and who late hang over them that makes it difficult to overcome.
I feel all the two you mention about adolescent cruelty and awkwardness are what make up the stigma about late bloomers. Overall its better to get an 360 perspective about this than an 180.
The thing that gets me is that romantic relationship overrides everything else. I get upset when I talk to guys or gals who have a lot to be proud and made great accomplishments but apparently since they had no romantic experience is all just mute and don't count for anything. I know that's not what your trying to say but it is a pet peeve of mine that and the attitude they have which come from both internal and external causes. The fact that all the blame is put on them but overarching attitude is not addressed that would make them feel this way. For person to be in a good relationship they have to be content with themselves and if this idea about hangs over them about who was early who was this and who late hang over them that makes it difficult to overcome.
I'm only mentioning romantic relationships because this happens to be the relationships forum. It could also apply to non-romantic relationships, as the title also mentions social matters.
I mentioned in a previous post that there are different types of maturity that occur at different rates. So, I definitely don't discount personal achievements in non-interpersonal areas. I'm purely speculating the types of affects that latent physical maturity could have on a person's ability to formulate relationships, while taking into account very real social factors.
The puberty and "coming into one's own" curve varies for all people, be they men or women. For some, it's toward the beginning of high school, others at the end of high school, others in mid-college, others at the end of college, others in their mid-20s, others in their late 20s, and others even later.
or it could be the summer between 4th and 5th grade. whatever.
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Do you agree with the notion that the timing of this "maturation" also affects subsequent relationships and related matters?
yes.
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