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Old 10-29-2012, 02:32 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
10,214 posts, read 17,881,804 times
Reputation: 13921

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
You are asking the wrong question. Would a real friend date your ex without your explicit consent?
This! If a friend came to me and asked if I was okay with it AND I genuinely had no more feelings for the ex, yes, I would be okay with it. But a friend who doesn't even bother to see how I would feel about it is too self centered to be a real friend of mine - all the worse if I do still have feelings for the ex. I would not remain friends with her - I wouldn't blow up at her but I would distance myself from her and stop making an effort with her. Either that or I'd just calmly explain to her that since I'm not comfortable with her dating my ex, I can't be around anymore.
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Old 10-29-2012, 05:56 AM
 
14,375 posts, read 18,377,781 times
Reputation: 43059
Meh. I haven't had any lingering feelings for my exes. If an ex had treated me badly, I'd be worried about the friend dating him, though I suppose. But I have at least two exes I had almost hoped would maybe hook up with certain friends of mine because they were better fits as a couple. Everyone else would have been weirded out by that I guess. I'm just not very territorial.

I think there's a utilitarian aspect to this outlook: Why waste a perfectly good man? LOL
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Old 10-29-2012, 05:58 AM
 
Location: Atlanta & NYC
6,616 posts, read 13,833,652 times
Reputation: 6664
Sure, right after I curb stomp them and hang them from an apple tree.
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Old 10-29-2012, 08:52 AM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,097,759 times
Reputation: 15771
Quote:
Originally Posted by RD5050 View Post
Has anyone ever had a good friend who started dating an ex (boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband), and how did you handle it?

And I'm referring only to an ex that you were in love with, and had a long relationship with, and not someone who you just dated a few times.

I personally would never allow myself to date the ex of a good friend, knowing it would hurt them inside. I would value the friendship too much to ever let that happen.

I'm just wondering if this scenario ever happened to anyone, and did you remain as friends, or did you end the friendship after you found out they were dating your ex?
When I was in college, a friend of mine had a girlfriend of a few years. She was also good friends with his best friend. They were caught naked and cheating together at a public place (a party).

Eventually (yes, eventually) they broke up and as SOON as they did, she started dating the best friend. Eventually, they broke up too. All three are still in touch and good friends many years later.

I realize life is short, and some people just want what they want, but I do think that kind of behavior is very sordid and shows no respect for friendship. I could never do that to a good buddy.

I remember when I broke up with a girlfriend, and I said on here that I wouldn't hit on another woman for a month out of respect, and some people on here called me a loser.

That's the mentality of the majority. Life is short. Get yours.

Nobody gives a sh@t about your moral high ground.
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Old 10-29-2012, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Texas
5,012 posts, read 7,874,059 times
Reputation: 5698
Only if I really saw something in her. I'd give it time and talk to my friend before going ahead with it. And honestly, if I really wanted to make a move, it probably wouldn't matter whether he was okay with it or not. He'd eventually come around
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Old 10-29-2012, 09:22 AM
 
Location: East coast-New England
1,639 posts, read 2,202,637 times
Reputation: 3538
Quote:
Originally Posted by Philosophizer View Post
Only if I really saw something in her. I'd give it time and talk to my friend before going ahead with it. And honestly, if I really wanted to make a move, it probably wouldn't matter whether he was okay with it or not. He'd eventually come around

Wow...it wouldnt matter even if you knew your friend was in pain after the breakup? Of all the women out there to date, it HAS to be a friend's ex? Would you have to at least think she was your soul mate, girl of your dreams, never ever seen/met a woman like her before, you two have some intense connection...all that? Or would just simply finding her to be an attractive and nice enough girl do it for ya?
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Old 10-29-2012, 09:59 AM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,655,977 times
Reputation: 12334
No.
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Old 10-29-2012, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Texas
5,012 posts, read 7,874,059 times
Reputation: 5698
Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerFall View Post
Wow...it wouldnt matter even if you knew your friend was in pain after the breakup? Of all the women out there to date, it HAS to be a friend's ex? Would you have to at least think she was your soul mate, girl of your dreams, never ever seen/met a woman like her before, you two have some intense connection...all that? Or would just simply finding her to be an attractive and nice enough girl do it for ya?
She'd have to be something special
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Old 10-29-2012, 04:19 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,109,941 times
Reputation: 11797
I don't think a true friend would ever do that.
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