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have you ever given her reason to doubt you?
these situation do not just "magically" manifest out of nowhere. its past behaviors or current unsaid ones that cause them.
that said if you have done nothing to make her act this way and feel as though you no longer have much in common with her pull the plug now before things become worse for her. live your life the way your see fit, just don't involve others in it if you cannot take them into consideration.
Let me start off by saying that I love the girl I'm with but the last few months we've been slowly drifting apart. We both moved to Oregon (I got a good job offer here) and she decided to come with me. We have been living in an apartment together for the past 7 months, and we both lived with our family the year we were dating in New York before we moved here.
She is extremely insecure, getting mad at me for the littlest things. A random example: If I friend a girl on Facebook I basically get interrogated about who she is and why I friend requested here. Its pretty ridiculous. She constantly say's I don't care, yet I'm the one who does everything.
This weekend she found porn on my computer and completely lost it. I let her vent for a while but today I finally decided to try and have a talk with her about it. Notice I say "try". I explained to her that porn is just a random fantasy, it has nothing to do with our relationship. I told her that I don't want the girls that are on the computer and shes the one I love. She went on to say that shes not good enough and not pretty enough...insecure stuff that I understand.
Well...here's the kicker, this is where I drew the line. I told her that I was just "bored" home alone. Maybe bored wasn't the best choice of words, but definitely didn't deserve what came next.... She SPIT on my face. Like full on spit right into my face. In that instant I really wanted to slap her, but I realized I would never do that and calmly told her she needs to leave. She said she already planned on it and started packing her stuff and buying a plane ticket. Then the next few hours she continuously called me a dog and that I'm scum...stuff to that nature. Pretty civil right?
This happened about 2 hours ago, and about 30min ago she handed me a letter that she said she wrote a month ago. In it, it basically says how much she loves me and cares about me and will always love me but hates the way we fight and cant be with me. The sad part is I know shes telling the truth, and its not the "I still love you, but cant date you" typical breakup line. I've been in several relationships, and despite what's happened between us I can tell that this girl really loves me but I honestly feel like she needs a little (maybe more then a little) emotional help. I think I have a problem that I always have to fix things that need help, and this isn't any different.
If you asked me two years ago if I would ever stay with a girl that had the audacity to spit in my face and degrade me like that I would have probably laughed. But for some reason I still love the girl. Deep down I know I should probably let her ago and that its only going to get worse from here. I really don't know what I expect to get from posting here, but I wanted to get it off my chest.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
You seriously want to stay with this woman? I'm not sure who is crazier you or her. Good luck with it
How long have you guys been together? She must have loved you to move across the whole country with you, or was it just to escape New York and experience something new? Maybe you guys rushed it by moving in together across the country when you weren't engaged. You have to see signs in a relationship, because things never come out until the end in some cases. My ex ignored me alot, didn't want to do the things I liked, ended up moving and staying where I didnt want to live, and then cheated on me twice this year. I now realize that it was a bad relationship, even though she said that she loved me every day she was still a user, immature person ( I was her first real relationship, so she is immature in relationships.) Its hard because we think people can change, but why would you want to change a person, dont you want that person to love you?? Why beg somebody to love you, thats not love. And its not a matter of deciding to let go, because its obvious you want to, its letting go thats the hard part and it takes a good 3 months of no contact to be able to think about letting go, so my advice is to have a good talk with her, and if this is really what you want start no contact immediately after that.
She SPIT on you. Do you really need a bunch of strangers to tell you this relationship is over?
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