Did I do the right thing? Taking him back and withholding sex (dating, girls)
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I posted here before about a guy I was dating on and off for about 6 months. I broke up with him about two weeks ago ( second time)because of communication problem ( him not returning my calls and texts). I stopped contacting him but he keeps calling and texting me even when I asked him to let me move on with my life. Every time he texts or calls, I say the same thing that we should stop seeing each other and let me move on. He skips a day then he makes contact again.
Anyway, we had a long discussion about where we at. He doesn't want us to stop seeing each other. He wants to get to know me more and he's going to be better with how he "communicates" with me. We're not in a committed relationship. We know each other for 6 months and hanging out once a week but I broke up with him once before so we stopped seeing each other for about a couple of months. So far, he's been communicating the way I want him to. He texts/ calls every other day. He responds quick to my messages. I don't call him. I just reply to his texts.
I don't know what he sees in me that he wouldn't let me move on. Even I was acting mean to him and became demanding. I broke it off twice already and he always comes back. I thought maybe sex is making him stay so I told him that I would see him but I wouldn't have sex with him anymore. He agrees to it. He says he doesn't just want sex from me, he likes to have sex with me but that's not all he wants. So last night, we've hung out and didn't have sex. He held me and we fell asleep. He made me feel so protected. He made sure I was comfortable the whole night. This morning when I was getting ready to leave, he didn't want me to go. He held me soooo tight and we fell back to sleep.
Some of you gave me an advice to totally move on from him and some said to try it again. I really like him. Did I do the right thing to give it another try? Why does he always come back? Did I do the right thing to withhold sex? I need some opinion please.
He's educated, handsome, has a great career , makes good money and outgoing so getting girls is not a problem.
Last edited by YellowT; 11-19-2012 at 06:31 PM..
Reason: Edit
Some people find that when someone treats them badly, all of a suddent they become more appealling. It's sick but quite a common unconscious behavioural pattern that is the result of being rejected or receiving negative messages as a child. Perhaps that explains his wanting you after you rejected him.
It's hard to really say, but it sounds like he must have been losing interest in you if he stopped returning your calls or messages, and then when you tried to break it off, he seemed to get revved up by the challenge of chasing you and winning you back. You withholding sex is just another challenge.
Once he knows for sure he has you again, he could start drifting away again...hard to say. That's just my take.
Last night, we've made out and he was all over me. He was touching me and stuff but we didn't have sex. This guy is sooo attracted to me. He's very vocal about it. So him wanting to have sex is a given its up to me if I would let it happen.
You can both play your games until you're cross eyed.
You don't seem to know what you want, neither does he.
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