Taking politeness as flirting...you've got to be kidding me!

[NWGirl74]

Originally Posted by burgler09

Remember one stupid person isn't really any reason to change. Going the extra distance or having a short conversation can sometimes make someone's day.

I agree. I find it disappointing when I'm out and about and the people helping me don't at least say "hello."

I also agree the customer was way out of line in this case. OP, there was a thread a couple of weeks ago about mistaking friendliness for flirting and it's amazing how often that happens.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by gamma19

I posted a thread a while back about my experiences at work with women confusing my politeness/customer service as flirting and reacting negatively to it. I considered just becoming curt and succinct with my customer service and not make any small-talk, but decided against it since after doing so for a while it made me feel very negative about myself, and I was concerned that it would field me complaints that I'm "rude" or have "bad customer service skills".

Anyway, earlier today I had to process a transaction for a girl and I smiled at her and asked, "how's your day going?". She rolled her eyes, gave me a dirty look and said, "I'm not interested in Asian guys" (she was white). She said it loud enough that other people around looked up and saw, and a couple other people shot me dirty looks as well, as if I was sexually harassing this woman. I quickly finished up her transaction, handed her the paperwork/receipt, and went on to the next customer. Initially I was more taken aback and confused, but throughout the day thinking about this incident made me angrier and more disgusted. I realize this is an isolated incident and that this one woman does not represent ALL women, but it's a disturbing trend, at least for me, in which women seem to take my politeness as flirting. Quite frankly, today's incident really just angered me, and it really makes me feel somewhat insecure about my actions and how I would be perceived. She could've spat on me and I would've been less offended. Seriously, this is some BS.

Well, the world is filled with foolish people. If someone cannot encounter simple civility without misinterpreting it, then that is her problem. Of course, you encounter those nitwits on this board as well, people who voice suspicion of people who are either polite or friendly. Yet, in their very next post, they'll complain about the most recent relationship disaster they had with some ill-bred man boy who essentially used them and dumped them. These people never consider for a moment that one might have something to do with the other.

That being said, if you are getting this reaction time and again, then perhaps you should consider what you say and, more importantly, how you say it.

Of course, it would have been far more satisfying had you said, "I beg your pardon. I was just making polite conversation with a customer. Rest assured I don't find you attractive in the least."