Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I believe that if you're insecure, you're insecure....and brief attention from a cute chick isnt going to suddenly make the insecurities go away.
The worst thing a man could do is to view sex as the end all and start viewing pretty girls as 'rock stars' and viewing themselves as 'mere mortals'. Men who are successful with women are the guys who view THEMSELVES as "rock stars" and women as 'mere mortals'.
true and regardless of what a small vocal minority of self appointed feminist spokespersons of the sisterhood say , most women are turned on by arrogant macho men
I don't understand the point of being insecure? Why don't these people do something for themselves instead of complain?
Because we try doing something for ourselves and it still doesn't work.
Be thankful you have never had to go through the scathing rejection that some of us have dealt with. If you ever went though it, you would have more compassion.
That depends on your glass being half empty or half full, either way an individual choice to continue to be miserable without someone and whine about it or do something about not having someone and quit whining.
We do try doing things. We try improving our looks, reducing our standards in mates, going to singles events, online dating sites, taking a class, going to the gym, etc...
I wonder if these clowns posting here are also the Republicans posting in the politics forum blaming a poor single mother working 2 jobs for taking tax money from the millionaires.
We do try doing things. We try improving our looks, reducing our standards in mates, going to singles events, online dating sites, taking a class, going to the gym, etc...
I wonder if these clowns posting here are also the Republicans posting in the politics forum blaming a poor single mother working 2 jobs for taking tax money from the millionaires.
Another thing I don't get is how you rationally compare yourself to a single mother taking care of dependent children. Have you stopped to consider that your irrational nature may have something to do with your lack of success with women? I mean this seriously.
I think it's the lack of success that causes the insecurity. If you go years without any type of success with the opposite sex(plus all your peers experiencing success at the same time)it's only natural for someone to think its them and question themselves over time. The reason why I'm not nor never really been insecure is because even though I've been rejected from time to time there's always been lots of success mixed in plus a ton of options and back up plans.
"Originally Posted by Frihed89 Stop worrying and thinking. Get out there and try. That's all there is to it."
Quote:
Originally Posted by ja1myn
Someone gets it.
Actually, that's someone that completely doesn't get it. Our human nature is what it is, the product of genetics and environment as it was developed. In some cases, with a HUGE amount of dedicated effort, it can be slightly modified or controlled. But it is most certainly not something that can be done with an arbitrary snap of the fingers. It's like telling someone who has a phobia of height/snakes/fire/whatever to "just don't be afraid". So easy to say for someone who doesn't have it...
Do you think that the insecurity causes the lack of success or does the lack of success cause the insecurity?
I suspect in most cases, the lack of success is what created the insecurity in the first place.
Being secure and confident is great. Confident men certainly tend to do better with when women than men who are not confident. But overall, I think men have been oversold on the whole confidence thing. The truth is, confidence only matters for men who have a lot of other desirable qualities working for them--e.g. good looks, wit, a sharp sense of humor. Needless to say, men with these qualities already tend to be confident.
Insecurity causes lack of success (in one area, or in life in general), which then leads to more and deeper insecurity, which leads to even more failure, rinse and repeat. It is a vicious cycle, spiraling down deeper into the hole.
Confidence (or just sticking your neck out and trying) leads to success, which leads to stronger confidence, which leads to further accomplishments, rinse and repeat. Sure, a failure here and there will occur, but the confidence and security of the person will allow him to turn the page quickly and keep trying.
Both of these cases often take root during childhood...the kid's environment and how he was treated & raised are influential factors in shaping his personality as he grows up. It is important that the insecurity problem be recognized very early on by someone (himself, his parents, friends, teachers, etc.) and steps taken to deal with it. The longer one waits, the harder it will be to overcome insecurity...it's a deeper hole to climb out of.
With that said, I don't think the insecurity or confidence seeds materialized out of thin air. Something or someone put them there. For instance, some guys have never even TRIED to make a move on a woman (thus "success" isn't even in the picture) and there's usually a root cause for that...perhaps his parents sheltered him too much during his kid years.
It is of course possible to be confident in some aspects and insecure in others. I think most people are like that. For example there are some guys out there who have successful professional careers yet struggle to interest women and land dates, even if the guy is considered to be "conventionally" good-looking and friendly.
I think it's the lack of success that causes the insecurity. If you go years without any type of success with the opposite sex(plus all your peers experiencing success at the same time)it's only natural for someone to think its them and question themselves over time. The reason why I'm not nor never really been insecure is because even though I've been rejected from time to time there's always been lots of success mixed in plus a ton of options and back up plans.
Yup.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
