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This guy that I was friends with in college found out through FB that I'm living in the same city as him. I should mention that he was at my school only freshman and sophomore year before transferring and it has been 5 years since I've spoken or heard anything about him (we've always been FB friends but I never went on his page). Anyway, he messaged me just letting me know he noticed I was in town, I wrote him back and we updated each other on what we've been up to. At one point he says that I should meet him to catch-up sometime and gave me his #, so I gave him my # too. He texted me a few days later saying we should meet up soon. We spent 4 weeks texting every few days trying to figure out when we could meet, since it kept falling through on my part. He even invited me to come study/do work with him at coffee shops, but it never worked out. He would text me every few days trying to plan something until finally it worked out and he met me at a street fest. I had a few drinks in me, but I wasn't drunk at all. We sat down and had a good convo about college, life, etc. We laughed alot and it was cool. We talked for about 2 hrs and then he insisted on walking me home. I thought he just wanted to be a gentleman and maybe talk a lil longer so I let him walk me even though I really wanted to take the bus for the few blocks.
It was late and I felt bad he was getting so far from his way home. I kept trying to tell him it was ok to leave me at this block then the next, next etc. but we made it to my bldg. When we got there, I turned to give him a friendly hug goodbye, but out of nowhere he asks if I wanted him to come upstairs. I was surprised he would say such a thing since I gave no signals of being interested and I'm not his type at all either. I just said a quick, "no I'm ok, text me sometime!" and went inside. It's been over a week since we met and he hasn't contacted me. What should I make of all this? Did he just want to hang out a little longer and i offended him? I can't imagine he actually thought we would mess around.
What if you wanted to mess around (he didnt know this) and he just assumed you didnt? He's a guy, guys want to mess around, if you dont want to, its not that big of a deal, right? He was attracted to you, isnt that a good thing?
Sadly, a lot of guys think that if you don't have sex with them the first, second or third time you see them, that you don't like them. Considering that it took you so long to commit to a date with him (which sends the message to him that you're not that interested) I think you should contact him first.
I wouldn't read too much into it. If he contacts you, meet up with him a few more times to decide whether he just wants casual sex. If he was offended that you didn't invite him up to your place at night, then I would consider him rather unhinged.
I gave no signals of being interested and I'm not his type at all either. I just said a quick, "no I'm ok, text me sometime!" and went inside. It's been over a week since we met and he hasn't contacted me. What should I make of all this? Did he just want to hang out a little longer and i offended him? I can't imagine he actually thought we would mess around.
Of course he was hoping to mess around. Maybe he was expecting it, maybe not. There's any number of things that could be going on. But most likely he hasn't called because you "gave no signals of being interested". Men like the chase but only if the chase is not futile. You don't have to put out on the first date but you have to show some interest.
yea maybe I am reading too much into it... maybe, I told the story wrong - but the point was that out "meeting up" WAS NOT a date. It was just hanging out with an old friend. We have never liked each other romantically in any way. I actually thought he had a girlfriend from what I saw on his FB since he had many pix/check-ins with the same girl. She was hugging and sitting on his lap, etc. Though when l asked him if he was seeing someone, he said he was single. Even then, I was with 2 friends of mine when he met up with me, we werent even alone until he walked me home. I just thought it was so weird that he would try to invite himself upstairs, seemed out of left field considering the situation. I guess my real question is has he not contacted me because he thought i was interested? I really thought we were going to form a friendship, but he made things awkward now. Guess i should just forget it
Last edited by CiaoBella14; 11-19-2012 at 07:28 AM..
If you really want to be friends with him, why not send him a text and ask him to meet up? That's what I do with my friends. Since you're obviously putting a lot of thought into this guy, I get the impression that there's something more going on. Sounds like you're a bit interested in him or at least flattered that he might be interested in you. I recently read an article about male-female friendships. It said that men will maintain friendships with women that they consider potential romantic partners.
It's really not sooo weird that a guy would try to mess around with a girl, is it? You seem to be over-thinking this brief encounter. You don't have to do anything.
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