Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Here is the deal. If you put down your level of income, because you want to be open about what type of lifestyle you lead and you dont mind sharing that information, more power to you. But when you put down your level of income in order to give yourself a boost or to attract more women, than its really nothing more than bragging and very much coiunterproductive to what youre trying to achieve, unless your goal is attracting golddiggers. Its the exact same situation as guys in real life try to entice women they approach, by boasting about how much money they have in their bank accounts, what great careers they have and how they drive luxuries cars.
It happens often, but unfoprtunately is a complete turn off for women. It means the guy who is bragging lacks self confidence and self worth, and believes his social value to be lower than that of a woman he is approaching. Any time a man is going out of his way to impress women, it simply means that he needs to do so in order to feel equal with the woman he is approaching, which means he thinks of himself of less, which is not what you want. In my opinion none of that is necessary, because if you meet someone and you hit it off, it quickly becomes evident what type of lifestyle you lead and whether you are finanbcialy secure or not.
My approach is based in the idea, that every man on this globe is good enough for any woman, even the most beautiful one, simply because he is a man. No bragging, gloating or trying to artificialy impress her is necessary.
What's the distinction?..bragging, stating, acknowledging..it's all about nuance.
i think you are presenting a false dichotomy. trying to justify why attractive females should not choose alpha males with money.
I do agree that things become self-evident pretty quickly unless you are misleading.
and yes it's tacky to brag about your car. it's more like " lemme give you a ride to your car" after the first date and she says "nice ride" when you do.
When I had a profile, I tended to skip over those with 6 figure incomes. It's important to me I can pull my weight financially in a relationship and I felt I would probably be more compatible with someone who made closer to my 5 figure salary.
I agree. I don't want to know what my guy makes. It makes me uncomfortable. It certainly would not impress me on a dating site.
What's the distinction?..bragging, stating, acknowledging..it's all about nuance.
i think you are presenting a false dichotomy. trying to justify why attractive females should not choose alpha males with money.
I do agree that things become self-evident pretty quickly unless you are misleading.
and yes it's tacky to brag about your car. it's more like " lemme give you a ride to your car" after the first date and she says "nice ride" when you do.
what you describe is just not how it works.
attractive females do not choose "alpha" males with money. Attractive females choose men that they are attracted to. If they happen to be more attracted to men with money, its because in the way these men tend to behave, and not because of money itself. Of course there is a small group of women called gold diggers, but they are such a tiny minority of all women that we can leave them out of the picture. Its tacky to brag about your car, and its tacky to brag about your career or how much money you make, all the same. Real quality women(not only attractive but also capable on intellectual thought), see through it and hold it against you. "Alpha" (god i hate using these terms) males know this and have no need to brag about anything.
I agree. I don't want to know what my guy makes. It makes me uncomfortable. It certainly would not impress me on a dating site.
When my late husband died he made about 1.5 times what I did. When we first started dating, however, I made slightly more than he did. He felt this was how it should be as I have a college education and he didn't. He ended up switching careers to one with a higher earning potential, but more importantly, one he loved and made him happy.
attractive females do not choose "alpha" males with money. Attractive females choose men that they are attracted to. If they happen to be more attracted to men with money, its because in the way these men tend to behave, and not because of money itself. Of course there is a small group of women called gold diggers, but they are such a tiny minority of all women that we can leave them out of the picture. Its tacky to brag about your car, and its tacky to brag about your career or how much money you make, all the same. Real quality women(not only attractive but also capable on intellectual thought), see through it and hold it against you. "Alpha" (god i hate using these terms) males know this and have no need to brag about anything.
lol..."real quality women demand it all and get it all...looks, wealth, intellect, wit, etc...
are you saying that attractive women don't chose to be with wealthy, handsome, successful men? they are forced to be with them..not tracking...
I know you aren't supposed to tell people what you make, but then why does match.com include it as a field?
Because Match is an exercise in bad manners.
I never contacted men on online-dating sites who listed their income, and it was rare that I'd respond to one who wrote to me first. The higher the income he put, the LESS likely I was to respond to him. I find it to be gauche to announce it or discuss it, it doesn't impress me, and it was not what I was after. I was after intelligence and a bit of humility, both of which preclude listing an income. Smart men minimize the chance of being targeted by a gold-digger and don't want to deal with email bombardment by Russian scammers who use income as their search criteria. Men with humility don't find it necessary to talk about how wealthy they are because they know there's more to life than money.
Honestly? I would leave it out. Your income is no stranger's business.
I know you aren't supposed to tell people what you make, but then why does match.com include it as a field?
In the olden days, matchmakers would vet out the people who weren't serious in their careers and who would have trouble providing a financially secure lifestyle. Friends who set you up will casually mention if you're doing well or not. But, it can be a turnoff for some to mention it.
I do want to show women that I'm ready for the next step. But, I'm not flashy. I don't drive an expensive car. I don't discuss income.
There are lots of posers who try to con girls into thinking they have successful careers. Why should they benefit while someone who legitimately does well not receive this benefit.
The level headed woman that I'd like to meet will view financial success as a benefit for security purposes and be attracted to someone ambitious and smart enough to achieve it, but I do want to weed out the gold diggers (but I'm pretty good at this already).
I make six figures, but not excessive 1 peecenter six figures. There are plenty who do way better than me, so I really don't think it's bragging to put it down. It just is what it is.
Any thoughts? Profile goes live tommorrow.
You sound very levelheaded to me so I'll just add a few things to think about.
*Most of the men in my area do not list their income OL so you may want to leave it blank.
*Consider other people who may not be potential dates who may view this info. Co-workers? Relatives?
*If I do see the income listed I never believe it anyway or I figure there's too many other factors, like massive debt or child support or a fancy for expensive hobbies.
*A good match is not based on how much you make but how similar your spending patterns are to your date's. If you're a thrifty person and have no debt, then let it be known, though I think that info is more appropriate for dates than for the OL profile. If you use coupons then use one on a date--a woman of similar inclinations will be impressed and a woman who doesn't will be disgusted and you've just weeded out someone who doesn't have the same spending philosophy. Studies have shown that most marriages break up because of fights over money. If you start out on the same ledger page then you're way better off than most couples.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Datafeed
FYI;I got no play. None....Then, when I came home, I started showing my wealth..dropped a few gs on new wardrobe, leased an E-Class, decked out my condo with 20k worth of gear...I posted profile pictures of me on the beach on Kho samui, taking PPL lessons, and me hanging out at the country club in vegas...guess what...i started to become inundated with emails and date requests from friends of friends...
POF, Match.com, Seekingarangement, etc...I have pretty girls now hitting on me..
So, do what you want, but don't undersell yourself.
One thing i will say is that be prepared to live the persona that you create. if you sell yourself as guy who spends then you must spend...if you sell yourself as intellectual then be ready to converse about esoteric nonsense...
be true to yourself and the game.
Someone will correct me if I'm wrong but it would seem that the OP is looking for a relationship, not better game. How many of those pretty girls are going to be there for you when the sh** hits the fan? Or after you've spent all that money?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
