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Old 11-22-2012, 11:28 AM
 
629 posts, read 1,231,791 times
Reputation: 454

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So the situation is as follows. My wife is the type that has a few guy friends. She's "one of the guys" for most of them. They're no threat to me and I already "helped" get rid of the "friends" with ill intentions. The problem is one of them has a birthday coming up and he wants to hang out with a group of friends including my wife. He wants the group to go to a couple of places late into the night. She wants me to go but he doesn't like me and says I make him uncomfortable. I'd have no problem with her going on her own but we live in the city and she'll likely be out until about 2am. No one will be escorting her home and she'll be taking the train alone which doesn't sit right with me. She understands my concern and told me she won't go alone if it worries me but I don't want to be a "stick in the mud" for her outings with friends. Her friend thinks she doesn't need to worry because she's an adult but I know he's never been in a long term relationship and doesn't understand how it feels. The only options that won't worry me are if they escort her home at atleast most of the way so I can meet her for the rest, she leaves the outing early, or I go with her. Her friend lives far from us so he doesn't want to escort her. If she leaves early her friend will get upset and blame me for "making" her leave. If I go I'll have to deal with her friends awkward behavior around me.

Any opinions? Am I over reacting? Should I just leave it be and let her hang as is?
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Old 11-22-2012, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Central California
1,782 posts, read 2,216,920 times
Reputation: 1686
Stop being lame. Just go to the party.

It's better to have your wife's friends in your pocket than not.
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Old 11-22-2012, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,756 posts, read 11,946,202 times
Reputation: 30135
That guy you're referring to doesn't sound like much of a "friend". He doesn't like you, he doesn't think she needs to worry about being out alone late at night, isn't concerned for her safety. Why would his opinions carry more weight than yours or your wife's?

I would go with your wife. She wants you to, and while it may not be the most comfortable evening around him, I'd do it for her sake.
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Old 11-22-2012, 11:53 AM
 
629 posts, read 1,231,791 times
Reputation: 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
That guy you're referring to doesn't sound like much of a "friend". He doesn't like you, he doesn't think she needs to worry about being out alone late at night, isn't concerned for her safety. Why would his opinions carry more weight than yours or your wife's?

I would go with your wife. She wants you to, and while it may not be the most comfortable evening around him, I'd do it for her sake.
I guess I'll just go and deal with it. But we'll have to bail by midnight since I have work early in the morning. Another awkward situation when I pull her from her group of friends so we can go home. Ugh.
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:13 PM
 
601 posts, read 756,804 times
Reputation: 369
**** that. if it doesnt feel right, im with you. very inappropiate of her.
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:23 PM
 
9,229 posts, read 8,496,835 times
Reputation: 14764
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kagami46 View Post
...we live in the city and she'll likely be out until about 2am. No one will be escorting her home and she'll be taking the train alone which doesn't sit right with me. ... Her friend thinks she doesn't need to worry because she's an adult ... Her friend lives far from us so he doesn't want to escort her.
Any opinions? Am I over reacting? Should I just leave it be and let her hang as is?
I don't know any more than I've read here, but this person doesn't sound like a real friend to me. In your wife's shoes, I wouldn't put you in the position of asking her not to go, but would understand your concerns and decline the invitation. After all is said and done, I would see my DH as my priority, and would not do anything to cause him to be uncomfortable.

In her shoes, I would not be having a good time knowing you would be home, concerned.
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:37 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,564,498 times
Reputation: 12334
Just go with her.
Why are you scared of that dude?
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:53 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,083,040 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by LookinForMayberry View Post
I don't know any more than I've read here, but this person doesn't sound like a real friend to me. In your wife's shoes, I wouldn't put you in the position of asking her not to go, but would understand your concerns and decline the invitation. After all is said and done, I would see my DH as my priority, and would not do anything to cause him to be uncomfortable.

In her shoes, I would not be having a good time knowing you would be home, concerned.
I agree. Especially on a work night. Out til 2am....then a train by herself at that hour....not intelligent these days....That's just lame and hazardous. Why doesn't the "friend" have a Saturday get together if he insists unescorted women have to be present. I consider my hubby my priority in this instance....
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:13 PM
 
1,288 posts, read 2,911,270 times
Reputation: 777
You go with her and you and her leave early!

A married woman should NOT be hanging out and drinking with her male friends. It's almost like you're describing your 21 year old daughter, not your wife.
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Old 11-22-2012, 02:13 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,067 posts, read 106,933,722 times
Reputation: 115819
Give her money for a taxi if you're worried about her safety at 2 a.m.
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