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I'm in my (very) early 20s. I'm a virgin, and in fact have never kissed a girl or anything. Its just a combination of me being relatively picky, and for most of my high school and college years having confidence issues due to various reasons, which I'm now pretty much over. A girl I grew up with, who has been with mostly girls, has always shown interest and flirted with me. She texted me about a week ago, and without getting into too many details, said she would be interested in having sex with me.
I know this is something I shouldnt care too much about and should decide on my own, etc., etc., but would this be strange? Has anyone heard of friends or themselves being in a similar situation? The way I see it, its a good situation for a first time, as neither of us would have any yearnings for a relationship afterwards, but to be honest, (I know this sounds immature) I'm worried about getting weird reactions if in one of those "what was your first time" story situations with friends or a future spouse.
Just looking for some input from the marvelous people of C-D.
Most guys would proceed, but you don't sound like you are mentally ready. You're stuck at the yellow button.
Do it if you think it's the right thing to do, you need to man up and make your own decision. You may be ready to be friends with females but you don't sound like you are ready for anything that is physical or romantic at this point. You sound confused.
Most guys would proceed, but you don't sound like you are mentally ready. You're stuck at the yellow button.
Do it if you think it's the right thing to do, you need to man up and make your own decision. You may be ready to be friends with females but you don't sound like you are ready for anything that is physical or romantic at this point. You sound confused.
Like I said, I think its because I romanticize things. I always wanted to have feelings for the person before we had sex, dont care about being married, but at least be interested in dating them. Opportunities like this have come up but I have turned them down if its not with a person I'm interested in dating. But now I'm thinking maybe its a good idea for it to be with someone I dont want to date so when it is someone I actually have feelings for I wont be completely lost.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColdAilment
Very picky ehh? But the first time a girl offers to have sex with no strings attached you'll jump all over that one night stand, won't you?
I dont know what it is that you're saying. I'm not all over anything. If you read my responses, you'd see that I clearly said that I've never been one to pursuit one nighters or FWB, and was only interested in girls I actually wanted to date. Not sure what you're trying to get at.
I'm in my (very) early 20s. I'm a virgin, and in fact have never kissed a girl or anything. Its just a combination of me being relatively picky, and for most of my high school and college years having confidence issues due to various reasons, which I'm now pretty much over. A girl I grew up with, who has been with mostly girls, has always shown interest and flirted with me. She texted me about a week ago, and without getting into too many details, said she would be interested in having sex with me.
I know this is something I shouldnt care too much about and should decide on my own, etc., etc., but would this be strange? Has anyone heard of friends or themselves being in a similar situation? The way I see it, its a good situation for a first time, as neither of us would have any yearnings for a relationship afterwards, but to be honest, (I know this sounds immature) I'm worried about getting weird reactions if in one of those "what was your first time" story situations with friends or a future spouse.
Just looking for some input from the marvelous people of C-D.
Dude, you struck a gold mine here!
Respond back, tell her you're interested, and don't ask her, but just tell her you would be okay with her bringing another girl in the mix. Seriously, if you landed two chicks at once as your first time you can throw any possible self-confidence issues out the window for life!
Like others said, plenty of people have pretty crappy first times. Back seat of car with a guy who pressured them, some random party while drunk and barely rememeber, etc. Yours sounds way better.
Nawh she is not bi-sexual...some woman who are lesbians simply adore some men...This man in question must have had qualities that the lesbian liked- perhaps he was a very pretty man. I shared an apartment with a lesbian when I was young...she was attracted to my pretty looks..blue eyes and long blonde hair will sometimes to the trick with a lesbian....Lesbians are not all man haters...I asked a young lesbian recently if she would be with a MAN who had the same personal qualities as her female partner...she said yes...She was not bi-sexual...she just knew what she liked and what she did not like.
Respond back, tell her you're interested, and don't ask her, but just tell her you would be okay with her bringing another girl in the mix. Seriously, if you landed two chicks at once as your first time you can throw any possible self-confidence issues out the window for life!
Haha, believe it or not, one time when we were sorta dirty talking over text, I told her she should bring the girl she was on and off with at the time. She responded that she didnt want to share me lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sherifftruman
Like others said, plenty of people have pretty crappy first times. Back seat of car with a guy who pressured them, some random party while drunk and barely rememeber, etc. Yours sounds way better.
That is a good point. Again, part of the problem is the way I imagined it would go was with a girl I had feelings where. This girl I'm on and off with whether I'm attracted to her, and obviously have no intentions to date her. Those two reasons are hang ups for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach
Nawh she is not bi-sexual...some woman who are lesbians simply adore some men...This man in question must have had qualities that the lesbian liked- perhaps he was a very pretty man. I shared an apartment with a lesbian when I was young...she was attracted to my pretty looks..blue eyes and long blonde hair will sometimes to the trick with a lesbian....Lesbians are not all man haters...I asked a young lesbian recently if she would be with a MAN who had the same personal qualities as her female partner...she said yes...She was not bi-sexual...she just knew what she liked and what she did not like.
I can assure you, I am far from "pretty", even in the sense of guys being pretty. I'm not calling myself ugly, but I'm kinda burly, tend to wear at least some scruff on my face, certainly not anything close to a typical "cute" or "pretty boy" look.
Like I said, I think its because I romanticize things. I always wanted to have feelings for the person before we had sex, dont care about being married, but at least be interested in dating them. Opportunities like this have come up but I have turned them down if its not with a person I'm interested in dating. But now I'm thinking maybe its a good idea for it to be with someone I dont want to date so when it is someone I actually have feelings for I wont be completely lost.
I have had similar situations in my life. My thought process was always "well if its someone who truly cares about me, then they will be patient with my inexperience." But then I also thought, "What if this girl was a perfect fit for me, but we never fully clicked because our first sexual interaction was my first one ever." Little things can sometimes change everything. Instead of seeing you as a confident take charge guy, she might see you as someone she has to teach and care for, instead of be cared for.
I am in no way, shape, or form saying that all women do this, but certainly some will. Just like some will find it cute and be attracted to the fact that you're a virgin.
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