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Hey guys and gals. I live part time in Ecuador and I have been dating a woman who I have great feelings for. She is a complicated woman and has been going through some very rough times in the last 6 months. She was married for 10 years and the final 3 years she was basically abused and she finally kicked him to the curb. She has 3 children and her youngest is 9.
She is the most wonderful woman I have ever met and have basically had a crush on her since I first met her a couple years ago. We both have an amazing amount in common and considering my crazy, addrenaline filled lifestyle I seriously doubt I will find anyone else like her.
She is an Ecuadorian woman who married a Canadian, so she has been living in Canada for 8 years up until about 2 years ago. That is when I met her the very first time. Only until the last couple of months have we been a little more than friends. Because of her rough times, I have been moving very slow with her.
We hired her as our translator to travel with us to a city about 4 hours away, one way. I had a lot of time with her while riding the bus for 8 hours. We chatted the whole time and I really got to know her. This is the period where I told her how I felt and that I would like to actually spend much more time with her, possibly a committed relationship. We basically cuddled, held hands and just had a wonderful time. She told me though that she isn't ready for a relationship yet but continued to cuddle with me. There is much more to this story, due to her very complicated life, but this is the jist of it. I have very strong feelings for her and she is the most beautiful woman, inside and out, that I have ever met and can definitely see myself spending the rest of my life with her.
I have always dated younger woman, so she is the first I have dated my own age. She is Ecuadorian, so a latina, which provides its own complications. She grew up in money and abandoned that aspect of her life on her own. She is very spiritual, down to earth, and is about as genuine of a person I have ever met. Long story short, she is my dream woman.
Any advice on how to handle this situation? I care for her deeply. Thanks in advance.
If you care for her, go slowly. Be patient. Don't create any early deal-breakers.
My guess is you will go through a period of time when you are not "dating" but still see each other regularly. You will not be "in a relationship" but still be exclusive.
I think you're doing the right thing. It can be tough dating someone after they've gotten out of a bad relationship. Be patient. Let her know you care for her and take things slow. In some situations I think someone can be worth waiting for. Good luck!
Ecuadorans can be wonderful people. How long do you think you can wait for her to come around? It can be difficult holding all those feelings bottled up for a long time. It's up to you.
Ruth, i guess as long as it takes, realistically speaking. I have never felt this way before about another human being and I don't see myself feeling this way again anytime soon. She has gone through an amazing out of crap in her life, and I greatly respect her for surviving as well as she has.
I did buy her a little necklace and matching earrings made out of agate(I believe) and i hope I am not being too forward at this point by giving it to her.
Being patient and keeping my true feelings bottled up is hard as heck though, but I am a strong person.
It all sounds very romantic but how long can you tolerate the "arm's length" stuff?
In my experience, it's usually a sign that she's just not that into you. I've been friends with women who behave like this and how/why they do it is beyond me...it's like they need a man, any man.
If she was that into you, she'd be on you like white on rice and you'd have a bunch of stepkids and one on the way within a year.
In my humble opinion.
You should probably stop buying her stuff, and definitely never lend her any money or co sign a damn thing.
No, she is in the process of getting divorced. They have been seperated for about 8 months with 0 chance of reconciliation.
I agree. I will just have to be patient and let some time pass and allow her to get her life figured out.
Given that she was in the middle of a divorce, or had one pending, when you had your bus trip with her, I'd say it speaks well of her that she didn't want to get involved. Until she's divorced, it would be cheating on her husband. I think this shows integrity. So give her some time.
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