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Say you're doing an activity alone with a guy/gal? And you and him/her have a platonic/working/acquaintance relationship. Somebody implies that you are a couple. Even I have had this happen to me. It'll usually be something like...
"Is she your wife or girlfriend?"
"Nice looking couple"
"Is that your boyfriend?"
....or maybe when a girl is talking about finding someone, another gal will say...
"What about him?"
It might be a person of Facebook commenting on a pic, a clerk at a store, or someone who sees you when you're working/having lunch together outside the office.
So, for those who espouse the even water/league theory, does that dictate your league, at least physical league? Obviously somebody thinks you make a viable couple.
Well I have a friend, we have been friends since college. Well 2 of them. With both of them, if I ever go out with them, people assume we are a couple. They are both black men with glasses (unless they are in their contacts) and possibly perceived as a little nerdy. They are both tall. One guy looks like a football player. One guy has an average build.
The football player looking guy is gay.
The other guy is just a friend. I think there is a bit of an assumption of 2 people are out and of similar age, they are probably a couple. I get pegged with the first guy a lot more in college. Now it is the second guy more. But the 1st guy lives across the country so I only see him every 2 years.
Are they in my league? Well who knows. Probably, they are both well educated guys.
I think it is fair to say, if I am with a preppier looking black guy (or ethnic-looking guy) it is pretty much assumed we are a couple. No matter what sort of body language is. I have had it happen when I was out with pretty much anyone who was taller than me. Especially if they have glasses. (Even though I am not wearing mine)
I have a lot of guy friends and when we go out to eat, the server nearly always puts the bill together and gives it to my guy friend. I guess that says she/he's assuming something.
It's never happened to me really. At least, it's not been explicitly stated. In Asia it would be rude to presume upon strangers or say anything, though you can definitely bet they're thinking it. And so far I haven't stayed long enough in the US to have enough female acquaintances.
I've never considered any of this 'league' stuff. Gosh, there's so many posts about it on this board. When I was single, that term was never used. I must be getting old.
I used to have friends suggest men they thought I might be attracted to, but I ultimately made the decision and I never categorized myself in any way based on those suggestions.
My sister's husband and I have been mistaken as a couple, but I think it's more related to the fact that we're both on the taller side and many people don't realize my husband and I are a couple because he's considerably shorter than me, even more so when I'm in heels.
Last edited by TheImportersWife; 11-26-2012 at 11:18 AM..
I was eating Thai food with my brother and the waitress asked if we were a couple. When I told her that he was my brother, she blushed and said "Oh you two look so happy". She must have missed our debate minutes before on whether Kent or Federal Way was a better place to live at.
One time while eating with a friend, the waitress asked if he was my husband. I loudly exclaimed "No!" My friend later joked that the way I said no, was as if someone had asked if I wanted a root canal without anesthesia.
I think it is fair to say, if I am with a preppier looking black guy (or ethnic-looking guy) it is pretty much assumed we are a couple. No matter what sort of body language is. I have had it happen when I was out with pretty much anyone who was taller than me. Especially if they have glasses. (Even though I am not wearing mine)
That was kind of my point. Everybody talks about getting someone equal to them in their league, yet most of the time that league is in their head, not everyobe elses.
I've noticed especially among older people that they will assume that one person who is 'too good for the other' by typical shallow young person's standards could totally be with the other person.
Who do choose to dictate your league?
Your shallow twit girlfriend who 'can't believe you're going out with HIM' or the nice lady at the bakery shop who says you two make a nice couple.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikake
I was eating Thai food with my brother and the waitress asked if we were a couple. When I told her that he was my brother, she blushed and said "Oh you two look so happy". She must have missed our debate minutes before on whether Kent or Federal Way was a better place to live at.
One time while eating with a friend, the waitress asked if he was my husband. I loudly exclaimed "No!" My friend later joked that the way I said no, was as if someone had asked if I wanted a root canal without anesthesia.
I get that too when I'm out with sis. I think it's funny too. We don't have the interaction/rapport of a couple. But physically, it could be.
That was kind of my point. Everybody talks about getting someone equal to them in their league, yet most of the time that league is in their head, not everyobe elses.
I've noticed especially among older people that they will assume that one person who is 'too good for the other' by typical shallow young person's standards could totally be with the other person.
Who do choose to dictate your league?
Your shallow twit girlfriend who 'can't believe you're going out with HIM' or the nice lady at the bakery shop who says you two make a nice couple.
I get that too when I'm out with sis. I think it's funny too. We don't have the interaction/rapport of a couple. But physically, it could be.
I'm not sure I'm getting your premise. Are you implying that everyone lets others dictate their league? Why would anyone but me be allowed to define my league? People really aren't that needy for approval, are they, to allow others to define what's best for them? Or am I just the independent type?
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