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Maybe it's just your presentation, but you're saying that willingness to commit to therapy equals willingness to forgive infidelity? I don't think that's how it works.
In my experience, men don't care for therapy in any circumstance. Your report does not surprise me.
Perhaps they don't think therapy is the road to forgiveness. I know I don't.
In any case, your argument isn't very strong unless you poll those couples from the op.
My own hypothesis is that for a lot of men, jealousy is less about feeling betrayed by a woman and more about being humiliated by another man. As several of the women who responded noted, women are often hurt worse by emotional betrayal, while men often focus more on the sexual aspect. I feel there is likely some truth to that.
It's not that they're more forgiving. It's that the infidelty patterns are different for men and for women.
When a man cheats he usually lives a double life, and when he gets caught, he begs for forgiveness. Generally speaking, when a woman cheats is because she's been shopping around and found someone better, so she doesn't want forgiveness - she wants to terminate the relationship.
Last edited by Perfect Stranger; 11-26-2012 at 05:31 PM..
I think, even though it isn't true, we are subtly instilled with this idea that men can't help themselves. They're animals who need sex but a woman can control herself and knows better.
Therefore, a woman who cheats is seen as someone purposely hurts her man but a man whose cheating causes pain only does so accidentally.
It's not that they're more forgiven. It's that the infidelty patterns are different for men and for women.
When a man cheats he usually lives a double life, and when he gets caught, he begs for forgiveness. Generally speaking, when a woman cheats is because she's been shopping around and found someone better, so she doesn't want forgiveness - she wants to terminate the relationship.
It's not that they're more forgiving. It's that the infidelty patterns are different for men and for women.
When a man cheats he usually lives a double life, and when he gets caught, he begs for forgiveness. Generally speaking, when a woman cheats is because she's been shopping around and found someone better, so she doesn't want forgiveness - she wants to terminate the relationship.
I think, even though it isn't true, we are subtly instilled with this idea that men can't help themselves. They're animals who need sex but a woman can control herself and knows better.
Therefore, a woman who cheats is seen as someone purposely hurts her man but a man whose cheating causes pain only does so accidentally.
Good observation I would agree.
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