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So we all tend to have those secrets that we vow that we will carry to our graves. Well a few nights ago my Gf asked me if I had any, I thought about it for a few minutes & said no then I asked her if she did she got quiet & said yes, but she said she didn't want to tell me what it was. I told her I'm curious about what it but I'll leave it up to her if you she wanted to tell me. She cried for a good bit afterwards she was ashamed but I got the feeling she wanted to tell me for one reason or another. I'm glad she did I think it brought us closer.
Anyways I read someone that if a women tells you something like mine told me that she isn't complaining it means she trust you. Any truth do that? Has anyone else felt this way? Are there just somethings you won't tell your SO?
My thinking is that if he didn't want me to know something, he shouldn't mention it in the first place. I think it smacks of attention-seeking when people do that, and when they do it with me, it tends to backfire because my attitude is, "Whatever." I'm not about to sit there and play along with what I see as the creation of drama and say, "Oh, honey, PLEASE tell me. Please, please, PLEASE let me into the deepest darkest corner of your heart." If you don't care to talk about it, I don't care about it either.
And yes, there are some things I just won't tell him, because it has nothing to do with him and, not to be blunt, it's none of his business.
It's my belief that if you're in a couple, then you're a team. If the secret has an impact on who you are today as an individual, it will impact the team so yes, it absolutely should be divulged. I agree with you - that wasn't clear in my original post though I had intended for it to be.
I don't know about this. to each their own.
When I was younger, I thought like this. But I do have some things in my past that I probably won't discuss with any new s/o. Even though I shared certain things with previous s/o's, I have learned that the likelyhood of any relationship actually lasting isn't quite likely. And, sadly, just because you trust someone and think you can share said secret, you never really know how they will take it.
Besides, I think as we get older, some of our pasts become less important, and the things that were embarrassing or painful are no longer such. Those moments just 'are'. And becase those moments become less important, the need to share that becomes less important. IMO anyway.
My thinking is that if he didn't want me to know something, he shouldn't mention it in the first place. I think it smacks of attention- seeking when people do that, and when they do it with me, it tends to backfire because my attitude is, "Whatever." I'm not about to sit there and play along with what I see as the creation of drama and say, "Oh, honey, PLEASE tell me. Please, please, PLEASE let me into the deepest darkest corner of your heart." If you don't care to talk about it, I don't care about it either.
And yes, there are some things I just won't tell him, because it has nothing to do with him and, not to be blunt, it's none of his business.
Are you still married? You sound very angry, wanna talk about it?
Anyways I read someone that if a women tells you something like mine told me that she isn't complaining it means she trust you. Any truth do that? Has anyone else felt this way? Are there just somethings you won't tell your SO?
Most likely.
She wouldn't tell that to a stranger, will she?
I personally do not share my secrets with friends or even relatives. At maximum, my family members may know some due to circumstances or through me telling them (should the need arise) and they are trustworthy enough.
As far as I am concerned I tell my SO what I choose and nothing more. I'm not into this whole stupid high school game about telling each other your deepest darkest secrets. I have many secrets thanks to a colourful past, many of them too painful to repeat. Some skeletons are best left in your closet, safe and sound.
There's a LOT I don't share with others. Are they secrets? I don't know...I guess they are since I wouldn't tell even if asked.
There's one person I trusted with every thought and secret I had but we don't talk anymore, and now I kind of regret letting them know me that well.
Live and learn. The vault is forever sealed!
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