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Of course there's people saying: "I don't buy the whole asexuality thing." Basically they think like that, because they themselves are obsessed with sex "so oh my God! how could everyone else not be!!!?" They expect everyone on planet earth to be just like them, so what else is new? The answer couldn't just be some people are really not into sex and are 'different' where these matters are concerned, no couldn't be that....There's asexual people that have actually had sex and said they didn't like it, never wanted to do it again -- yet someone will STILL tell them they must've 'been with the wrong person, etc.' Bottom line is: people will never except asexuality in a person because it doesn't apply to them, so it must not be true for anyone else either.
Of course there's people saying: "I don't buy the whole asexuality thing." Basically they think like that, because they themselves are obsessed with sex "so oh my God! how could everyone else not be!!!?" They expect everyone on planet earth to be just like them, so what else is new? The answer couldn't just be some people are really not into sex and are 'different' where these matters are concerned, no couldn't be that....There's asexual people that have actually had sex and said they didn't like it, never wanted to do it again -- yet someone will STILL tell them they must've 'been with the wrong person, etc.' Bottom line is: people will never except asexuality in a person because it doesn't apply to them, so it must not be true for anyone else either.
I can't rep you again, otherwise I would. But yes, so much this.
I didn't really expect to read any responses that deny the existence of asexuality, but it is astounding.
Nothing wrong with being asexual, it's just rare. I don't think someone who's interested in sex can call themselves asexual, more likely they just have lowish sex drive compared to average.
I can't rep you again, otherwise I would. But yes, so much this.
I didn't really expect to read any responses that deny the existence of asexuality, but it is astounding.
I can't rep you either, LOL...Well I'm not surprised at all. IF you look at the way people are in general, on a whole, it's not surprising. They run around waving the 'acceptance' flag but when it comes down to brass tax, it's all bullsh*t....If anybody wants to test the theory of how "accepting" men and women are, tell someone you're interested in or whatever that you might be asexual -- and you will see how "accepting" they are . I said it before on here: you don't really SEE how people are until you are way left of them.
There's also a lot of men who think if they just force themselves on you, you will change your mind where these things are concerned, but that's another matter.
I can't rep you either, LOL...Well I'm not surprised at all. IF you look at the way people are in general, on a whole, it's not surprising. They run around waving the 'acceptance' flag but when it comes down to brass tax, it's all bullsh*t....If anybody wants to test the theory of how "accepting" men and women are, tell someone you're interested in or whatever that you might be asexual -- and you will see how "accepting" they are . I said it before on here: you don't really SEE how people are until you are way left of them.
There's also a lot of men who think if they just force themselves on you, you will change your mind where these things are concerned, but that's another matter.
I think it's sheer arrogance.
That's how I look at all intolerance, anyway. It's arrogant to have this attitude of "How dare you believe/live/function differently than I do?" and then deny its existence.
That's how I look at all intolerance, anyway. It's arrogant to have this attitude of "How dare you believe/live/function differently than I do?" and then deny its existence.
But don't you agree, we all do it to some extent? It's the "Human way! If you can't beat em...." Some do it more then others obviously. I found there's no reason why I should "accept" other people they don't do me any favors in this department, never have. What's the point of putting yourself out there repeatedly when they just come back with how 'messed up you are' b/c you're not like them? So screw them, they can go rot.
But don't you agree, we all do it to some extent? It's the "Human way! If you can't beat em...." Some do it more then others obviously. I found there's no reason why I should "accept" other people they don't do me any favors in this department, never have. What's the point of putting yourself out there repeatedly when they just come back with how 'messed up you are' b/c you're not like them? So screw them, they can go rot.
That we deny the existence of things that are foreign to us? Not necessarily, but it depends on what it is.
From a purely personal framework, there are tons of things that I don't know about and are completely foreign to me. Just because I don't know about them, doesn't mean that I'm denying their existence (my Atheism being the exception to this) - it simply means that I have yet to be exposed to them.
With something like human sexuality, if I meet someone that says they are "xyz", who am I to deny that and say that it's not real, simply because it doesn't fit within the framework that I know?
I'm not going to try to invalidate someone's lifestyle simply because it's foreign to me. I certainly wouldn't want it done to me.
@tazzled It doesn't really shock me at all. Their are two concepts at work here confirmation bias which is seeking out information that confirms your beliefs rather than disconfirm them. The other is the false consensus affect where people overestimate how their views and habits are the norm and others think the same way they do.
Let me, as an asexual, give a more "detailed" perspective on the asexual community.
After talking about this same issue with both you and the asexual community, I am afraid I have to say that the overall asexual community lacks a real solid definition on what asexuality is. I asked in the AVEN Facebook group if two asexuals in a consented relationship (homoromantic or heteroromantic) can have sex, and the response has been yes. For me this is oxymoronic. The arguments have been "they can do it just for the sake of procreating, or to release the libido, etc.". If this is so then the sexual activity done is going to be outrageously low... but wait a minute... it is still sex. Once a week, once a month, it is still sex... two asexuals having sex to release libido? I don't know, I am asexual and like most sexual people I would really consider that sexual.
You see being sexual is nothing wrong. I have come to think that the reason why some asexuals fall much into the sexual orientation rather than the asexual but still claim to be asexuals is because they, deep inside, despise the way sex has been degraded by the society and media. After all, most sexual people will have sex in a real high priority when coming to relationships... I can understand an asexual having sex with a sexual partner in order to please him or her but two asexuals for me it is oxymoronic, it is contradicting and it will be extremely difficult to me to understand how can two asexuals have sex... sex is sex, regardless if it is done because of love, procreation or release of libido. After all, love and sex have nothing to do with each other- there are sexual aromantics and asexual romantics- the latter who fall in love just like the usual sexual romantic does.
The community is messed up at this time, I really need to see how to really understand the point of the so widely accepted asexual definition because for me there is a lot of bogus- confused sexuals being accepted as asexuals is not really a good idea to me. To say an asexual desires sex is like saying a homosexual man feels sexually attracted to women. As far as I know, a gay man who is also attracted to a woman is a bisexual person, not a homosexual person.
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The answer couldn't just be some people are really not into sex and are 'different' where these matters are concerned, no couldn't be that....There's asexual people that have actually had sex and said they didn't like it, never wanted to do it again -- yet someone will STILL tell them they must've 'been with the wrong person, etc.' Bottom line is: people will never except asexuality in a person because it doesn't apply to them, so it must not be true for anyone else either.
