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I've been married for 16 years. My husband is a very caring person, hard worker and great dad.
But, he has no interest in sex. We are Christians and waited until we got married to have sex. I realized something was wrong on our honeymoon. We had sex every day, but he never seemed to be very interested, almost as if he was doing it out of a sense of duty.
Over the years, I've bought countless sex manuals, beautiful lingerie, kept myself attractive and slim, all to no avail. We have three kids and conceived each in two or three tries. Once I got pregnant, sex was over for nine months. Now that we've completed our family we haven't had sex in about one year.
Whenever I ask if something is wrong, he just says he's tired and stressed. I've suggested counseling and a medical check up, but he's not interested. I would do anything in bed to please him, but he just doesn't want me.
I feel angry and resentful. I'm 40. I should be in my sexual prime, but instead I feel as if I'm sleeping with my brother. Divorce isn't an option; it would hurt my children and I don't think that having a sexless marriage is a good enough reason to get divorced from a Christian perspective.
Are any of you in a sexless marriage, but happy? Will my sexual desires eventually fade away as I get older making it easy to live without physical intimacy? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
I've been married for 16 years. My husband is a very caring person, hard worker and great dad.
But, he has no interest in sex. We are Christians and waited until we got married to have sex. I realized something was wrong on our honeymoon. We had sex every day, but he never seemed to be very interested, almost as if he was doing it out of a sense of duty.
Over the years, I've bought countless sex manuals, beautiful lingerie, kept myself attractive and slim, all to no avail. We have three kids and conceived each in two or three tries. Once I got pregnant, sex was over for nine months. Now that we've completed our family we haven't had sex in about one year.
Whenever I ask if something is wrong, he just says he's tired and stressed. I've suggested counseling and a medical check up, but he's not interested. I would do anything in bed to please him, but he just doesn't want me.
I feel angry and resentful. I'm 40. I should be in my sexual prime, but instead I feel as if I'm sleeping with my brother. Divorce isn't an option; it would hurt my children and I don't think that having a sexless marriage is a good enough reason to get divorced from a Christian perspective.
Are any of you in a sexless marriage, but happy? Will my sexual desires eventually fade away as I get older making it easy to live without physical intimacy? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
Forgive me I'm not making light of your situation (as many here will undoubtedly do) but when I hear of these situations I always suspect the husband is gay. Perhaps he married you (being a Christian himself) to cover his sexuality. Have you had any signs he might like the same sex? What are his hobbies? Does he spend alot of time alone outside the house? Tell me and I can pretty much predict either way
I've heard this story many, many MANY times from men who were gay but married anyway. I once held support group meetings for gay married men and this was the story you'd hear over and over again.
Opinion from an asexual guy: as per your description, it looks to me your husband is an asexual romantic, did he ever tell you about the issue? If not, if he thinks he is a sexual man, it would be good to seek some help from professionals and see what is happening. I don't see any reason based on your description that your husband could be cheating on you, so let's discard that. Now, if you are Christians, maybe you can try both to focus on the spiritual things, and combined with the help from professionals try to find a happy medium.
I see many asexual-sexual marriage have the same problem, as an aromantic guy I feel good I won't do this to a sexual woman, but sometimes confusion can make some people make serious mistakes. If you don't want to divorce, then better find other things and give priority to, after all you won't die for not having the amount of sex you desire.
Forgive me I'm not making light of your situation (as many here will undoubtedly do) but when I hear of these situations I always suspect the husband is gay. Perhaps he married you (being a Christian himself) to cover his sexuality. Have you had any signs he might like the same sex? What are his hobbies? Does he spend alot of time alone outside the house?
Not necessarily. Question to the OP: does your husband get "nervous" around other men? Does he display female attitudes? If the answer is no, then no, he is not gay.
Not necessarily. Question to the OP: does your husband get "nervous" around other men? Does he display female attitudes? If the answer is no, then no, he is not gay.
And you call other people ignorant!
What are 'female attitudes'? Wanting to share a panty wardrobe with his wife? Let me assure you, gay married men are those who cover their tracks well, NOONE would know - they have to do it well for not even their wife to know. I've met gay married men who were more masculine the word itself
[quote=LisaMc46;27146027]I've been married for 16 years. My husband is a very caring person, hard worker and great dad.
But, he has no interest in sex. We are Christians and waited until we got married to have sex. I realized something was wrong on our honeymoon. We had sex every day, but he never seemed to be very interested, almost as if he was doing it out of a sense of duty.
[quote]
THIS is why you try it BEFORE you buy it! Religion aside this could be the end of what sounds like a great marriage.
To the OP - Have you tried Oysters? Or Spanish Flies?
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Religion aside this could be the end of what sounds like a great marriage.
