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First, allow me to commend you on your effort. You approached a woman that you don't know, attempted to carry a conversation with her, and it didn't work out. In none of your posts have you indicated that she directly rejected you (e.g., "Leave me alone, creep" or "I'm not interested in you" or etc...). The conversation you had with her simply died off. No big deal--at least you gave it a shot!
BUT, to turn the whole experience from one of learning (what can you do better next time? why did the conversation fail? etc.), you instead point your finger at her as an example of why women suck and men have to "do it all" in order to achieve success. That, IMHO, is a bad attitude and reflects both your frustration and your emotional immaturity. Instead of focusing on why you are better than her, or how she was beneath your standards, look inwards and find that part of you holding onto the notion that you are entitled to a tantrum (which is what your posts seem to be in this thread) when a woman doesn't engage.
I, as a woman who's been in those situations, disagree with you.
Total BS there
Any attractive woman has 35892035023572307532052703572835230849234083270423 8 options. Your only fighting chance is to build a very strong personal connection...yes even for guys like myself who are good looking and successful
OP, she just wasn't into you. It's not realistic to expect interest from any random stranger, is it? This happens to women, too. They may repeatedly chat up the same guy over time, but nothing happens. The woman just isn't his type, it's not a big deal. Just move on. Why the bartender, anyway? Any service personnel are sitting ducks, a captive audience, and they know it. It's very awkward for them when customers come on to them. And why invest so much self-esteem in random strangers? This is just part of life, everyone goes through this. You're handing way too much power over yourself to these strangers.
I'm not investing self esteem into strangers. It's just a giant pile up of frustration that turns into an avalanche
Any attractive woman has 35892035023572307532052703572835230849234083270423 8 options. Your only fighting chance is to build a very strong personal connection
Strong connection in one conversation??? LOL
Ok. You're right. I'm done. Good luck bud. Hope 2013 is your year!
Honestly, without being negative, I think this guy falls into the category of "you don't know what you don't know."
In one of his posts, he is defending himself by stating that he was trying to talk to a bartender at a small bar. Not a Vegas bar.
Doesn't matter OP, this bartender probably has more potential suiters than you can imagine. A woman that works in the service industry meets new people ALL THE TIME. Every single day. That makes her opportunity for dates so much higher then you can imagine. And she is attractive ?! Oh boy. Not to say that you are not worthy of of her attention, but I think you overlooking the COMPLETE picture here.
The truth is, is the conversation hit a wall, 1 of 2 things happened. She wasnt that interested, and to her, YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER CUSTOMER. Or, perhaps she would consider dating you, after getting to know you some, and the conversation for that evening dried up. If you really want to find out, go back a couple times and watch a ball game at that bar. If she is working, chat her up some. If she is interested, she will chat back. Actually, bartenders are EXCELLENT practice for just TALKING to women.
But honesyly, she may just be 'being nice'
The difference in selling cars vs picking up women is that you have easy deals at my job all the time. People come in all the time knowing they want to buy a certain car and all you have to do is be very nice to them and show that you care about them and they will buy. For the difficult sales, you have to build a strong personal connection for them to pick you over all the other options they have
There are no easy sales in dating. Every situation is a very difficult one where you have to build a strong personal connection for her to pick you over all the other options she has.
I dunno what the *** is wrong with me because I can do that at my job all the time but I just cannot do it with women. Perhaps it's because I have low self esteem as it regards to dating or overestimate the difficulty of the process but there's something off here. It shouldn't be this hard for somebody like myself to find a partner
You don't ask out a woman if you don't have a lengthy conversation with a very strong connection there. You will get rejected every time
The first time I asked out a girl, I had talked to her once before 6 months previously....
I was like, "You want to get lunch sometime?" And she responded "Sure!" and I was like "Really?" because I was honestly confused....
The first time I asked out a girl, I had talked to her once before 6 months previously....
I was like, "You want to get lunch sometime?" And she responded "Sure!" and I was like "Really?" because I was honestly confused....
well, maybe you have a 1 in 10 chance of succeeding but I hate rejection so I'm not going to to ask a girl out unless she's clearly very interested
To answer the question in your thread title, yes, everyone, both men and women, feel hopeless at times. You are not the first person to go through a stretch in life lonely. I did not date at all in college. I was lonely, depressed, had very little money and was working 30 hrs/week in a construction materials testing laboratory while at the same time trying to stay afloat in the engineering program at ASU. Being a typical Engineer there were some lessons on the topic of people skills that I had to learn but I eventually was able to reach a point where meeting women and getting them to be my girlfriend became easy or at least less of an obstacle in my life.
I have a close friend that's tall, beautiful, has recently lost about 70lbs and is now in great shape. She was single for 10 years before her last boyfriend.
I have another good friend. Smart, great job as a Chemical Engineer at Honeywell, athletic, from Seattle area and loves the outdoors. She's been single since she graduated from college 3 years ago.
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