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Old 11-30-2012, 12:58 AM
 
1,293 posts, read 1,613,815 times
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I had a great day at work today and I hope those positive feelings would translate to maybe some success tonight with the ladies. I went out and was talking to this bartender at a very small local bar (only maybe 15 of us there so it's like she was getting hit on much at all)....Anyways, I tried as hard as I could to make something happen and we had a bit of pleasant conversation at the beginning, but I just hit a complete wall at one point and the whole thing was dead before it even started. I couldn't think of anything to say, she wouldn't start any conversation (typical situation with women where you have to do absolutely everything in the dating world to make anything happen)


I just can't get away from my feelings of being hopeless. I talked in my other thread of finding somebody overseas and what not, but it just drives me nuts being single without even any prospects day after day after day. I've been wanting somebody for soooo long. I just can't keep being forever alone like this and killing myself
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Old 11-30-2012, 01:11 AM
 
10,024 posts, read 10,415,867 times
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At this point unless the guy I am interested in feels the same way I know I will be never married until I die. The decent guys are all taken and the few remaining are either too picky, divorced dads, or mentally ill.
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Old 11-30-2012, 01:46 AM
 
2,560 posts, read 2,515,962 times
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Probably many feel completely hopeless at times. I'm not one of them as I always enjoy my life and my dating life is quite fun as there's plenty of guys I amuse and entertain myself.

Perhaps it was more of she didn't want to talk to you and was only humoring you as you're a customer rather than a 'typical situation with women where you have to do absolutely everything in the dating world to make anything happen'. In my experiences when a gal actually enjoys being around a guy rarely does he have to do everything to make anything happen.

Possibly what drives you nuts is the lack of sex, feeling undesirable, and not having some gal to pander and placate your ego as she adores you. Likely that can be alleviated with prostitutes and escorts.
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Old 11-30-2012, 01:50 AM
 
15,019 posts, read 20,422,561 times
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I think the winter blues are coming on today for people.
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Old 11-30-2012, 01:51 AM
 
Location: Sometimes Miami sometimes Australia
1,093 posts, read 2,552,024 times
Reputation: 1080
Quote:
Originally Posted by brahmabull117 View Post
I had a great day at work today and I hope those positive feelings would translate to maybe some success tonight with the ladies. I went out and was talking to this bartender at a very small local bar (only maybe 15 of us there so it's like she was getting hit on much at all)....Anyways, I tried as hard as I could to make something happen and we had a bit of pleasant conversation at the beginning, but I just hit a complete wall at one point and the whole thing was dead before it even started. I couldn't think of anything to say, she wouldn't start any conversation (typical situation with women where you have to do absolutely everything in the dating world to make anything happen)


I just can't get away from my feelings of being hopeless. I talked in my other thread of finding somebody overseas and what not, but it just drives me nuts being single without even any prospects day after day after day. I've been wanting somebody for soooo long. I just can't keep being forever alone like this and killing myself
maybe you need to lower your standards.
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Old 11-30-2012, 01:56 AM
 
Location: Sometimes Miami sometimes Australia
1,093 posts, read 2,552,024 times
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Maybe Idon'tdateyou is interested
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Old 11-30-2012, 03:20 AM
 
Location: Homeless
17,709 posts, read 12,260,684 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
I think the winter blues are coming on today for people.

The only blues I seem to be having is that I won't get to see my GF untill after the New Year she was going to come this coming weekend before the holidays get here. Sadly she won't be able to working retail.

The good news is that this will be the first Christmas I have spent with my mom in almost 10 years.
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Old 11-30-2012, 03:25 AM
 
Location: Tha 6th Bourough
3,633 posts, read 5,537,010 times
Reputation: 1762
Quote:
Originally Posted by brahmabull117 View Post
I had a great day at work today and I hope those positive feelings would translate to maybe some success tonight with the ladies. I went out and was talking to this bartender at a very small local bar (only maybe 15 of us there so it's like she was getting hit on much at all)....Anyways, I tried as hard as I could to make something happen and we had a bit of pleasant conversation at the beginning, but I just hit a complete wall at one point and the whole thing was dead before it even started. I couldn't think of anything to say, she wouldn't start any conversation (typical situation with women where you have to do absolutely everything in the dating world to make anything happen)


I just can't get away from my feelings of being hopeless. I talked in my other thread of finding somebody overseas and what not, but it just drives me nuts being single without even any prospects day after day after day. I've been wanting somebody for soooo long. I just can't keep being forever alone like this and killing myself
been feeling hopeless about meeting someone nice for a while now. I kinda gave up a few years ago.
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Old 11-30-2012, 04:01 AM
 
6,977 posts, read 5,312,785 times
Reputation: 5168
Quote:
Originally Posted by brahmabull117 View Post
I had a great day at work today and I hope those positive feelings would translate to maybe some success tonight with the ladies. I went out and was talking to this bartender at a very small local bar (only maybe 15 of us there so it's like she was getting hit on much at all)....Anyways, I tried as hard as I could to make something happen and we had a bit of pleasant conversation at the beginning, but I just hit a complete wall at one point and the whole thing was dead before it even started. I couldn't think of anything to say, she wouldn't start any conversation (typical situation with women where you have to do absolutely everything in the dating world to make anything happen)


I just can't get away from my feelings of being hopeless. I talked in my other thread of finding somebody overseas and what not, but it just drives me nuts being single without even any prospects day after day after day. I've been wanting somebody for soooo long. I just can't keep being forever alone like this and killing myself
Bartenders will flirt to get tips, its like strippers, they'll always say that the dont have a boyfriend and they'll always try their hardest to make you feel attractive and that you have a chance.

If a bartender at a small local bar 'hooked up' with every man who hit on them, they would have a dozen phone numbers a day.

Dont take it personally. She might even want to date you, but there are not enough days in the year for her to date all the drunk men who hit on her.
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Old 11-30-2012, 04:37 AM
 
3,636 posts, read 3,202,455 times
Reputation: 4315
Quote:
Originally Posted by brahmabull117 View Post
I just can't get away from my feelings of being hopeless. I talked in my other thread of finding somebody overseas and what not, but it just drives me nuts being single without even any prospects day after day after day. I've been wanting somebody for soooo long. I just can't keep being forever alone like this and killing myself
Perhaps you are trying too hard. If you go out with the intention of "getting success with the ladies" then that defines you. It defines the you who you are that night and over a longer period of time it will start to define who and what you are - just someone who is out to get the ladies.

For example: You chatted up the bartender because you were interested in getting somewhere with her. That is not the same as talking to someone for the sole reason of treating them as an individual - to get to know her for who she actually is - or people you were genuinely interested in talking to her. You were talking to her for no other reason than you wanted to get somewhere there.

You also could think of nothing to talk about because - over time if you become defined by this mission to get with someone - there is nothing to talk about.

The advice I generally give to people in your situation and it has invariably worked for me so far - is stop trying. Entirely. Instead focus on yourself. Focus on bettering yourself, becomming more interested in life and hence more interesting, and explore above all things social aspects of the things that interest you. Everything from learning a language - to playing music - to walking in nature have social versions you can get involved in.

What you will find - as all the people I have given this advice to in the past did - is that finding a partner stops being something you have to do or make happen - but becomes something that just happens on your journey through life.

My own story is that I got heavily involved in many things including nature walking and live music watching. As part of the live music watching I decided to join all the forums for the bands and singers I love. I would arrange "pre gig" meet ups for the fans with messages like "Are you going to see <whoever> tonight? Well lets all meet up for drinks before hand at <Time> in <Pub near venue>. Look for the table with the <object known to fans of that music> in the middle, that will be me/us".

I met some interesting people doing this, it was great fun and before I knew it I was in a relationship with two girls I met at it and have been living with the two of them for over 7 years now and we have the first of 4 planned children.

In short: Stop trying to go out and find women. Instead go out focusing on your own life and bettering it in every way you can and you will find that getting a partner will just happen on your journey.
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