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I met James 5 weeks ago, at my college cafeteria. We sat next to each other and he started asking about the book I'm reading (turns out he is using the same one for his class). We kind of clicked and had a great time, so we exchanged numbers. That night he text me and made brief conversations. After that day, we started texting each other every night (but he always initiate the conversation). About 7 days later, he asked me to come out again and just chill around. I wasn't busy and I needed some break from my midterm studying so I agreed to go(I am not looking for a relationship). Anyways, we hung around for a bit and chatted (he did not did anything disrespectful or was touchy, he acted like a friend). Flash forward a week later (we still text everyday and he is still the one who always text first), we went out and he put his hand on my shoulder the whole time (which I didn't mind much because he is attractive). But I got really pissed off when he proceed to kiss me when he walked me back to my dorm. I was like really mad but I didn't want to make a big scene in front of my dorm and had people come out and see what is going out. He just kind of begged and was apologizing a lot and kept making excuses for his behavior such as he thought I liked him and such.
The next day, he texted me and tried to act normal, but when I didn't reply, he started to text for my forgiveness. He called 3 times that day also and left quite a few messages. After 1 1/2 week, I guess I wasn't pissed anymore so I forgave him. He is my type so I told him that we should take thing slow. The next time we hung out, we kissed and hold hand but no sex. Although we kiss, we do talk a lot about each other and he doesn't always tries to kiss me. I told him I wasn't ready for sex and he promised to respect me (I'm not sure if he is just saying to get me though) Anyways, we just became official a week ago (and he did asked me to be his girlfriend when he first kissed me but I just finally said yes) and he starts to put his hand on my legs and he likes to invite me back to his dorm (although he does not force it and we usually go somewhere else).
The thing is, he does help me a lot when I need to. He helps me edit my essays and is willing to do most things I asked him. Also, when we go out he usually pays. We also talks about our majors, families, and such too. His text messages contain nothing sexual, and are usually just asking me what I am doing and stuff. But he is a bit touchy so I don't know if he wants sex or if he wants a real relationship....
I don't see anything in this post to suggest he may be using you, that he JUST wants sex. Does he want sex? Of course! Sex is a normal, healthy part of adult relationships. Wanting sex doesn't make him a bad guy, it just makes him human.
That said, if you are not "ready" for sex at this point in your life, you and he may not be compatible. I agree with a previous poster. Talk to him. Only he knows what he wants.
Gentleman of C-D, this is some very important insight into the normal thought process of a woman (it doesn't change as they get older).
- No idea what she wants
- Flipping from one extreme to the other
- Saying one thing, doing another
- Non-linear stream of consciousness that always completely lacks logic
Very valuable lessons can be learned here, guys.
Let me clarify since I've already gotten a few messages about this.
Women on here claim that they are very logical when it comes to dating and relationships. I'm sorry, but I can't think of situation I've been in (not one off the top of my head) that made any sense. I've had girls do some of the weirdest things to and in front of me that seemed to come out of nowhere. It's funny. Before going out last night, I was talking to friends about this. They also agree (those were my guy friends...many of my female friends tend to agree with this too).
My general experience has been this:
- MOST women will go with whichever way the wind blows
- they change their minds frequently
- they say one thing and do another
I'm not saying that this is a bad thing or a good thing. It is what it is. And different women have varying degrees of this (some are more extreme than others). But these are certainly qualities that any guy should observe when getting involved with a girl. In retrospect, I've found that girls that I've dated that had these qualities more on the extreme side were not good girlfriends. And there were warning signs before I got into the relationship that I could have noticed, had I known what I was looking for.
Gentleman of C-D, this is some very important insight into the normal thought process of a woman (it doesn't change as they get older).
- No idea what she wants
- Flipping from one extreme to the other
- Saying one thing, doing another
- Non-linear stream of consciousness that always completely lacks logic
Very valuable lessons can be learned here, guys.
Hey, don't lump me in with her. She doesn't represent all women and I am baffled as to how she got into college. Lets not forget, too, that for every clueless chick like her, there's an equally brain dead dude out there.
come on captain and rogers park, you really belive this chick is a cherry? she is just another broad that thinks she can get away playing ms. innocent. bet shes a real good time when nobody is around
Something does not read right. You are angry he kissed you? You are playing emotional status games with him and yourself. What do you mean relationship? Or are you in it for the help he is giving you. Methinks you are leading him on Playing the game to get what you want.
you're approaching the age where if you're not having sex then it's not a real relationship
there are a few folks here on virgin patrol who pretend otherwise, i'm sure they'll chime in soon enough to contradict this
but the short answer is of course he wants sex
you're not being totally honest with yourself. two weeks in and you're absolutely furious that he kissed you... but 3 and a half weeks in and it's OK to kiss? as long as he's helping you with your essays I guess! time to start being more honest with yourself about what you want and cut out the games
I bet msvalentine and beachmel have condoms in there purses. the problem is they never had a man who wanted to use em after hearing them babble on about how ' I don't do this or that " , and those things are old and dried out much like their (you know what) . have a nice day ladies, I am going to the bar to watch the bears and bring home a broad in her 50s who finally figured out that their youth and looks were wasted waiting the knight to arrive.
Hahahaha....another brilliant neanderthal has come out to play. What fun!!!
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