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I don't agree with any of the bolded. In society, guys are forced to talk to women they find attractive(for whatever reason, im not going there) so a guy DOES have to be good with talking to women and how to act if he wants to get a date. If he can't get her interested and get the inital phone number or date, he'll never get a relationship.
Isn't the point of dating a trial and error? You get along with some and you don't get along with others?
PUA, in m opinion focuses on getting the number, not keeping the girl or building something deeper.
I think if there is any redeeming value, it is around building up confidence for approaching the girl. But it is really ease to cross the line from approaching the girl with the intention of building up your numbers of conquests vs building something lasting. And for your approach can seem insincere with many PUA techniques.
PUA, in m opinion focuses on getting the number, not keeping the girl or building something deeper.
I think if there is any redeeming value, it is around building up confidence for approaching the girl. But it is really ease to cross the line from approaching the girl with the intention of building up your numbers of conquests vs building something lasting. And for your approach can seem insincere with many PUA techniques.
Whether it focuses on maintaining a relationship is out of the question. If someone needs a book to hold their hand through every step of life, they shouldn't be dating. The PUA is designed to help guys meet women they want to meet. If you get a girl's number and go on a date with her and it doesn't work out.. there's absolutely no missed opportunity. It's always a good thing to meet new people and expand your horizons. It only creates opportunity, the more people you meet the more fun you have. The only missed opportunity is the guy who is standing from a distance hoping to get enough courage to say hi to the girl across the hall sometime within the next few months.
If you can't make a sincere approach to a woman with what you learned, you suck anyway.
PUA, in m opinion focuses on getting the number, not keeping the girl or building something deeper.
I think if there is any redeeming value, it is around building up confidence for approaching the girl. But it is really ease to cross the line from approaching the girl with the intention of building up your numbers of conquests vs building something lasting. And for your approach can seem insincere with many PUA techniques.
If life was as easy as getting to know a woman during a casual life setting (school, work, friends), making a sincere connection, and living happily ever after, there'd be little market for PUA.
Most of the guys (not all) who use PUA do so because they have tried the genuine approach and lost out. Just something to consider...
If you believe in PUA, then go ahead and try it. What's stopping you? I think you may find that mostly, these "Rules" only work for men who pretty much do them or have picked up on them naturally, because it is extremely transparent (and embarrassing) when you're putting on. But give it a shot if you believe in it, why sit here and debate it? If you believe it will work, then give it a try. Then you will know.
For the record, yes, I think PUA is stupid and it's pretty cruel if it does work. Luckily, from what I've seen, it rarely does, as I said, except for men who naturally do these things anyway and are already self-confident.
But don't take my word for it, give it a shot if you're so certain that a) it's a good thing and b) it works.
Nothing wrong being the guy women want. No need to hate if a guy changes himself to the guy a woman really wants to date.
(shrug) Again, so do it then. If it works so well and you honestly feel it's not immoral, why not just do it and get all the girls? I'm not sure I'm following, here.
I think for some guys, PUA builds a mentality, it is all about the "chase" and building up your numbers of conquests. But not much else.
From what I've seen on the internet, most of PUA 'clients' are men who do very poorly with women and would just like a way to attract some women who like them. In a lot of cases ... just one that they like.
Why? Because the 'normal' ain't getting it done.
If you had been getting girls since you were 13 to 31 years old, why would you need PUA to get women?
By and large, male players don't use PUA. They use their looks and charm.
I constantly see PUA getting a hard time on these messageboards here and it surprises me. I think it gets a bad rep because a lot of the people that follow it can be dbags. If you actually read into it though, it's actually a really good thing for people and can really help. If you look into it, or read about it.. it isn't about picking up women and leaving them. They are saying to do the same exact thing that everyone on these messageboards are saying.
At the core, they say you have to be comfortable in your own shoes, and never be afraid to approach any woman out there. They simply say, be the guy everyone wants to be around. If you're at a party, be the guy that people are interested to talk to. Be the guy making people laugh or having a good time around you. Have things about yourself that you're proud of and not be afraid to talk about it. Another thing, the main motto of PUA is that the girl should love being around you. They say most relationships don't last... but after every relationship.. you should leave the girl feeling better about herself and her way of life.
There's nothing about treating women poorly, it is actually the opposite. If you're having problems with women or attracting quality women.. the PUA stuff is actually a good and interesting read.
Just my opinion, but hey.. it helped me out.
This is the most reasonable description of it I've ever seen. There's another side to it, though. Some of the "techniques" they teach are about insulting women to get their attention. I guess that type of extreme thing is what the media naturally pick up on and sensationalize.
The way you put it, it sounds like it's the same thing many people here say: make the woman laugh, and she'll be eating out of your hand. Be friendly, and just chat with women. I'm not sure your post accurately represents the PUA thing, though. It sounds to reasonable, lol!
wow sorry didnt mean to offend a PUA. do you know what PUA stands for? Pick-Up-Artist..If you read "the Game" there isnt anything in that book that talks about having a lasting relationship with a girl. Its methods on how to attract women and get numbers. Maybe chicken soup for the soul has stuff on how to have a relationship but a lot of the stuff i've seen doesnt.
None taken.
I just find it ignorant that someone reads a single book on a topic and then writes false overarching statements to support their inaccurate point of view.
I was simply correcting you, but I apologize if you can't take the criticism.
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