Do you "test" people? Is this appropriate or just crazy? (woman, kiss)
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Here is another situation, also based loosely on fact:
Man and woman meet, hang out for a month. Things start to get romantic after week two with some kissing and snuggling but nothing sexual until week four. Man breaks off relationship after week four, stating that he cannot take the relationship seriously because they were too intimate too quickly and it says something about the woman's character. Woman says that she had no idea they were going "too quickly" as it was the man who was the initiator in the intimate situation.
In this scenario, was the test valid? What do you think of this?
The man is stupid. Tests in general are stupid.
If the man wants to take it slow, then he should define his boundaries show she understand what "slow" is.
Here is another situation, also based loosely on fact:
Man and woman meet, hang out for a month. Things start to get romantic after week two with some kissing and snuggling but nothing sexual until week four. Man breaks off relationship after week four, stating that he cannot take the relationship seriously because they were too intimate too quickly and it says something about the woman's character. Woman says that she had no idea they were going "too quickly" as it was the man who was the initiator in the intimate situation.
In this scenario, was the test valid? What do you think of this?
I swear we learned about talking about our boundary issues and what not in kindergarten but it seems like that ability is just thrown out the window in the dating world.
Maybe women test you because you appear to be untrustworthy.
I'm not a tester, but I do notice certain things.
No, women test men when mans confidence is questionable. It starts when a man first approaches and continues on when relationship develops. If mans self confidence and self worth are in the right place, he will NEVER be tested. When his approach shows shaky confidence, he will be tested several times early on. Ive been both guys in my lifetime and no longer get tested, whatsoever but observe poor suckers tested daily.
Here is another situation, also based loosely on fact:
Man and woman meet, hang out for a month. Things start to get romantic after week two with some kissing and snuggling but nothing sexual until week four. Man breaks off relationship after week four, stating that he cannot take the relationship seriously because they were too intimate too quickly and it says something about the woman's character. Woman says that she had no idea they were going "too quickly" as it was the man who was the initiator in the intimate situation.
In this scenario, was the test valid? What do you think of this?
There is no such thing as a "valid" test. They're childish games. That's all they are.
No, women test men when mans confidence is questionable. It starts when a man first approaches and continues on when relationship develops. If mans self confidence and self worth are in the right place, he will NEVER be tested. When his approach shows shaky confidence, he will be tested several times early on. Ive been both guys in my lifetime and no longer get tested, whatsoever but observe poor suckers tested daily.
Interesting. So you then think that a man (and apparently only a man) can do something pre-emptive to stop the testing?
Is testing ever appropriate? What about if someone seems slightly untrustworthy but its difficult to tell?
Here is another situation, also based loosely on fact:
Man and woman meet, hang out for a month. Things start to get romantic after week two with some kissing and snuggling but nothing sexual until week four. Man breaks off relationship after week four, stating that he cannot take the relationship seriously because they were too intimate too quickly and it says something about the woman's character. Woman says that she had no idea they were going "too quickly" as it was the man who was the initiator in the intimate situation.
In this scenario, was the test valid? What do you think of this?
This time he's the nut job and she's better off with out him.
Interesting. So you then think that a man (and apparently only a man) can do something pre-emptive to stop the testing?
Is testing ever appropriate? What about if someone seems slightly untrustworthy but its difficult to tell?
The thing about women testing men, its highly subconscious, and this is why many ladies deny even doing so, even if their actions show otherwise. If a guy seems slightly untrustworthy, he will be tested but a truly self confident man will never seem untrustworthy. The reason for that is that a truly confident man, knows what he wants, knows how to get it and has no need to lie or manipulate. If you have the right level of confidence as a man, there is simply no reason to ever lie to a woman, because your actions are fully congruent with your belief system. There is nothing to hide.
And yes its entirely up to a man himself, if he gets tested or not. Simply a man has to know his self worth, think of himself as the prize and how any woman should be lucky to date him or even have his attention. If he approaches with this state of mind and displays true and unwaivering level of confidence, the woman he approached will not have any need to test him. Otherwise, she'll have you buy her expansive drinks, watch her stuff as she goes to the bathroom, put up fake resistance, appear angry, annoyed or disinterested, mess up your plans so you can show her she is your priority and a long list of other ways women test.
Here is the hypothetical situation, based loosely on fact:
Man and woman go out to eat. Woman goes to the restroom and asks the man to order for her if the waiter comes around. Woman returns from bathroom, waiter has visited, but man did not order. The reason? Someone else got the waiter's attention and is taking a long time talking to the waiter. Woman waits patiently for several minutes and then waiter dissapears. Woman becomes annoyed, accuses man of not performing a simple task and says that it means more about his character-- that he is not assertive enough, etc. Man responds that he didn't know this was a test, and that its not a fair assessment. Woman gets the waiter's attention herself eventually but notes this behavior.
What do you think of this? Can people extrapolate deeper characteristics from simple examples of everyday interaction? Is it fair to do this? Do any of you engage in this behavior?
Why are you hand-wringing about this woman? As if there aren't another 5000 fish (give or take) in the sea. MG, move on, man!
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