Can you talk yourself out of a good relationship?

[AverageGuy2006]

Originally Posted by reed067

The women I'm dating now does this she tried to end our relationship twice now. I told shes not getting away that easy though & in all reality she could just block me from calling her & that would be it. Instead she calls me & says she can't do this anymore.She knows I always talk her out it & then she is happy that I didn't let her walk, Her best friend told me that she can be self-destructive when it comes to being with some one. It's hard to deal with at times I am hoping as we go along she will seek help for this problem. Her step sister is OCD & bi-polar. Not sure if that carries over to her though. In the end if you care for someone you learn to deal with it. No? She knows that I would never hurt her in any way but like you said it sounds like she doesn't feel that she deserves to be happy & isn't sure how to handle it. But it is like you said she tries to end it because she feels it can't get any better.

IME, when a woman tries to get out of a relationship, I will now and moving forward always let her leave. Especially if it is early in the relationship. Relationships are not easy, and if you have one person who wants out every other month, then it isn't working for them. Arguements, and disagreements are one thing, but trying to end it ?
Good luck, IME those NEVER end well. And the one that fights the hardests to keep the relationship together gets burned pretty bad.
Hopefully things work for you two though, it would be great to hear of a relationship that overcame obstacles and resulted in happiness!

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by reed067

So I was talking this topic over with a friend of mine on here & I thought I'd pose this question to you all.
No matter how good said relationship is going, can you convince yourself to leave it for one reason or another?
Why do people do this? How destructive is this not just to themselves but others as well?

Interesting question since it appears that a lot of humans cannot talk themselves into an actual relationship it would seem impossible that they could actually have a "good" relationship to talk themselves out of.

[reed067]

Originally Posted by strawberrykiki

I guess I missed something. You guys are back together now? And this is the second time she's pulled something like this? You know what they say...fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I hope that you are proceeding with caution, and not giving her another chance out of fear of being alone. I also think sometimes we romanticize the other person...we make excuses for why they won't commit to us, and we think we can be a savior for them helping them fix their problems and showing them what a wonderful relationship is. No one can fix someone but that person themselves.

I know it sounds terrible but yes we are back together not that we were really apart I guess when you think about it. I asked myself if I was doing this because I didn't want to be alone. Come to find out there are a couple of women who are interested in me yet I don't have any interest in them. If you read my post above maybe you can understand why I'm doing this. I see a very good & possible future with this women with in a couple of months of dating her I felt a strong connection with her not because I was single but there was just something about her. I am taking this slow I told her I can't or won't dot his again. We talked last night & she said she was glad that I didn't give up on her/us. She admitted to being scared & stressed out with work & such. We have been though A LOT of the course of 7 months that we've been dating & like I said in another post I 'm not the kind to give up because things don't always go according to plan. I want to show her I'm not the guy who is going to give up just because things get hard. I read some where that real love isn't based on romance or candle lit dinners or walking on the beach it's based on trust, comprise & respect., I believe IF we can get past the things we have then we have a really good shot to make this work. There ws to be one person in a relationship that has to be stronger then the other. No? Again maybe I'm wrong for thinking this way.