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Old 12-08-2012, 10:07 AM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,669,360 times
Reputation: 10386

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I cosign on the Catfish idea, I would definitely watch this story play out!
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:35 AM
 
120 posts, read 195,793 times
Reputation: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
Wait. Did you meet her through work or Craigslist? Your title contradicts your post.

And seriously, you have sent this girl $20,000 in two years? But you could never get $200 together for a plane ticket?

Meanwhile you endure her verbal abuse on a weekly basis.

OK.
We met doing work ON cl....so basically met on there....as far as the plane ticket you don't know how many times I offered to fly out to her or her to me and she says she wasn't ready yet and wants to hold of until she is better financially. So I stopped asking. And yes I know I have been a fool and have learned from this. To be honest I have thought all of these things the entire time about her not being real and I just wanted to give it a chance but enough is enough I've even told her that I don't think she is serious plenty of times and if course she got angry
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:37 AM
 
120 posts, read 195,793 times
Reputation: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
I cosign on the Catfish idea, I would definitely watch this story play out!
What is this catfish you guys speak of?
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:37 AM
 
1,304 posts, read 2,574,849 times
Reputation: 1840
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCoast8 View Post
We met doing work ON cl....so basically met on there....as far as the plane ticket you don't know how many times I offered to fly out to her or her to me and she says she wasn't ready yet and wants to hold of until she is better financially. So I stopped asking. And yes I know I have been a fool and have learned from this. To be honest I have thought all of these things the entire time about her not being real and I just wanted to give it a chance but enough is enough I've even told her that I don't think she is serious plenty of times and if course she got angry
Get another $20K and hire a professional goon who will go to her and scare her. Threaten her to give you back the $20K. I guarantee she will give you back the money and won't bother you again.
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:38 AM
 
120 posts, read 195,793 times
Reputation: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol View Post
Get another $20K and hire a professional goon who will go to her and scare her. Threaten her to give you back the $20K. I guarantee she will give you back the money and won't bother you again.
Yeah sounds like a good idea I never gave her too much at once but it all added up. I wish I could scrape up 20k
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Old 12-08-2012, 10:49 AM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,713,925 times
Reputation: 54735
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCoast8 View Post
Yeah sounds like a good idea I never gave her too much at once but it all added up. I wish I could scrape up 20k
What do you mean it "all added up?" That's an average of over $800 a month assuming you began sending her cash from the moment you met. You must have been sending some significant sums for it to add up to 20k in just 24 months.

What is the largest amount you sent at one time?
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
3,360 posts, read 12,264,630 times
Reputation: 3909
Holy Cow!
I've lived with a bf for the past four years and he's never even given me ten cents, and he's loaded. (The other extreme)

Honestly this person was never in a relationship with you. She was not your girlfriend. She was not looking out for you nor was she of a mindset to help you. All she did was talk to you with the idea of taking advantage of you. She is a con artist. Someone who plays on your emotions for what she can get. Recognize this and stay far away, shut her down in all respects.

Now, go out and find some decent girl, and there are plenty of them. Try to raise your inner self-worth so that you don't fall into the trap of connecting with people who aren't worth your time and energy.
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,074 posts, read 11,839,154 times
Reputation: 30347
Please OP, follow the advice from seasoned folks here on CD.

Run don't walk, away from this criminal ( )
and to a good counselor.

Don't feel bad, just do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
Sorry this happened to you, some of us (me too) must learn the hard way....

but: it is over NOW!


ps Best wishes




Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
I'm sorry you had a rough childhood but this woman is abusing you and it's time for you to break your cycle of abuse.

Some counseling might help you with your self esteem issues but you really need to decide for yourself that you want to make positive changes and some positive choices in your life. Dumping this woman is a good start.
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 23,338,402 times
Reputation: 31918
Live and learn from this huge mistake and never give money that you can't afford to lose. My advice is especially do not give money to someone you have never met, and especially online. Scammers can smell naïveté a mile away. Hopefully a lesson learned. Oh, and she wasn't your girlfriend--she was a user.
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:14 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,565 posts, read 2,450,009 times
Reputation: 1647
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCoast8 View Post
Ok this may be long but it needs to be in order for people to understand my situation and provide proper feedback. And so that this doesn't happen to anyone else.

I met this woman online a couple years ago thru working ( not a dating site ). We did some work together and eventually became really cool with each other on the phone, talking about many things other then work. We were in different states ( I was in NJ, she was in South Carolina, but originally from NJ ) so meeting up anytime soon wasn't an option.

Even when conversating with her I could tell she was spoiled. She was a couple years older than me I was 24 at the time. But she was still nice to me and honestly I had just got out of a bad relationship a couple months before talking to her. I didn't think it was possible but I was actually starting to fall for her as I seen we were staying up very late talking to each other.

But part of me was saying to myself there is no way this would actually work out especially us being so far apart and never having met. And how i felt about women at the time wasnt the best. We did exchange pics and she was gorgeous, and she felt the same way about me. I ended up telling her how I felt and to my surprise she felt the same and we decided to be together and eventually meet up when she came back to nj and go from there. Now lets fast fwd to the bad parts.

Since we started talking, she has been in situations where she has needed my help financially. I've given her over 20k since we have been together. When i need money from her, i get an excuse about how she cant or she would say she will do it tomorrow and something always came up and she couldnt spare the money. There have been times I was so broke I started selling things just to have some money and to help her. But she never did the same for me she only sent me money a couple times. But the money part isn't what bothers me.

Over the period of the 2 years we have been together she has broken up with me at least once a week, cursing me out calling me a loser and that I don't have anything going for me and that all of her ex boyfriends had money and careers and she refuses to settle with a loser. For some reason I put up with this kind of behavior from her all this time. She has also hacked into my email accts, my Facebook all of that and read my messages from past relationships. Somehow she broke up with me and we would always end up getting back together with me calling her constantly and trying to be the adult and fix things. My guess is she is bipolar because one min she will be in love with me and the next she will hate me. But this isn't the worst of it.

AFTER TWO YEARS OF GOING BACK AND FOURTH ON THE PHONE WE HAVE YET TO MEET IN PERSON!!! I know you guys are going to think I'm a fool and to be honest I am. It's not that I haven't tried to meet her she won't meet up with me for some reason. It's always an excuse about money and how she wants us to be financially set before meeting in person. I told her I dont care about all of that but she does. She has even had phone convos with my family without my permission. Do you kno how frustrating it is to claim to have a gf and nobody ever sees you with one? And the sad part is she recently came back to nj but she broke up with me about a week ago and said she doesn't feel the same about me anymore because I have nothing going for me and that I get on her nerves. She then tells me she knows she is a ***** and doesn't care that she is.
Just my luck right?

I haven't had the best childhood growing up my parents were pretty controlling and abusive to me. I ended up having really bad anxiety. I have had only a handful of good relationships the rest have been bad but not like this one. I really thought this would work out she even had me wanting to commit suicide at one point. I'm just thinking how could someone be so cruel? All I've tried to do was help her even though I don't have much. I haven't spoken to her since she last broke it off with me and don't plan to no matter what.
my first reaction was this

Laughing Man - YouTube


followed by this

Think McFly THINK THINK! - YouTube
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