Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Okay folks so here is the scenario, I have a wife and two kids and we live in the DC region. We have only been out of college for about 5 years so we both have quite a bit of debt that has to be paid off, especially considering that we are very new in our careers and early in paying off debt. Currently at this time my wife is unemployed. She works in the education field and her experiences as a classroom teacher have been up and down. Because we live in such an expensive area and have so much debt, it was agreed that it was important for both of us to work. Well now my wife is singing a different tune.
She has been applying to jobs for months, but not every possible job that she can. Instead she has only been applying to jobs that she feels that she has a 'realistic' shot of getting even though she is eligible for more jobs than those. So today we had a conversation and she stated that she doesn't like being a stay at home mom but she doesn't want to be a full-time classroom teacher either. Of course this made me very upset. I've stated to her my desire to move to a less expensive area so that it wouldn't be entirely necessary to live in this region and live a much more difficult lifestyle but she insisted that we stay and that she would apply to as many jobs as possible. When I tell her that I do not believe she is being realistic about her job situation, she tells me I don't understand how hard it is to get a job as a teacher and that she has had many circumstance preventing her from getting jobs (even though I've only expressed concerned about the jobs that she's NOT applying to versus the ones that she is applying to and not getting).
Am I being unreasonable? I actually don't mind her being a stay-at-home mom and I don't mind her working, but I feel like what she desires to do is unrealistic. We are able to live off of my salary but it is not easy. What do you all think?
There are some situations that are just not ideal in the education field. I don't know what jobs she is not applying to but it could be for good reason? Has she considered doing resource or IT instead of a classroom position? Those are typically not full-time in my district but you get certified rate for the time you do work.
My suggestion would be to have her volunteer in the schools while she is job hunting if that is possible. She'll get to know which schools mesh more with her teaching style and then she'll have an "in" as well. More often than not it's who you know, not what you know.
Okay folks so here is the scenario, I have a wife and two kids and we live in the DC region. We have only been out of college for about 5 years so we both have quite a bit of debt that has to be paid off, especially considering that we are very new in our careers and early in paying off debt. Currently at this time my wife is unemployed. She works in the education field and her experiences as a classroom teacher have been up and down. Because we live in such an expensive area and have so much debt, it was agreed that it was important for both of us to work. Well now my wife is singing a different tune.
She has been applying to jobs for months, but not every possible job that she can. Instead she has only been applying to jobs that she feels that she has a 'realistic' shot of getting even though she is eligible for more jobs than those. So today we had a conversation and she stated that she doesn't like being a stay at home mom but she doesn't want to be a full-time classroom teacher either. Of course this made me very upset. I've stated to her my desire to move to a less expensive area so that it wouldn't be entirely necessary to live in this region and live a much more difficult lifestyle but she insisted that we stay and that she would apply to as many jobs as possible. When I tell her that I do not believe she is being realistic about her job situation, she tells me I don't understand how hard it is to get a job as a teacher and that she has had many circumstance preventing her from getting jobs (even though I've only expressed concerned about the jobs that she's NOT applying to versus the ones that she is applying to and not getting).
Am I being unreasonable? I actually don't mind her being a stay-at-home mom and I don't mind her working, but I feel like what she desires to do is unrealistic. We are able to live off of my salary but it is not easy. What do you all think?
From your screen name, I assume that you live in PG county? If so, you shouldn't have a problem, because PG county is extremely affordable.
I think you should be a little more understanding.
I don't know how it works becoming a teacher, I know of a teacher's union but how to apply or if it's even the same thing as other unions (dues, working time, ect.). At least have her apply for a substitute teacher.
Or open a conversation about what she wants to do. She doesn't want to be full time but doesn't want to be a stay-at-home-mom either.
Dude: 2 words: substitute teaching
It's not full-time steady, it has none of the responsibilities of full-time teaching, and it's a good way to get your foot in the door at different schools, and be in line if something permanent does open up, if she decides she can handle being back in the game. She should try private schools, too. They have much smaller classroom size, and a smaller teaching load, I think.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 12-10-2012 at 12:00 AM..
This is why i keep insisting: Pre-NUMP
People, particularly women, have a habit of flipping the script at will. There is no such thing as "picking the right one" Marriage is a HUGE risk period.
If she wanted to, she can now divorce you (FIRE you) keep the house, keep the kids, have a LOVER move in and make YOU PAY for it all.
hate to be an ass, BUT THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. you opened yourself to this risk.
Okay folks so here is the scenario, I have a wife and two kids and we live in the DC region. We have only been out of college for about 5 years so we both have quite a bit of debt that has to be paid off, especially considering that we are very new in our careers and early in paying off debt. Currently at this time my wife is unemployed. She works in the education field and her experiences as a classroom teacher have been up and down. Because we live in such an expensive area and have so much debt, it was agreed that it was important for both of us to work. Well now my wife is singing a different tune.
She has been applying to jobs for months, but not every possible job that she can. Instead she has only been applying to jobs that she feels that she has a 'realistic' shot of getting even though she is eligible for more jobs than those. So today we had a conversation and she stated that she doesn't like being a stay at home mom but she doesn't want to be a full-time classroom teacher either. Of course this made me very upset. I've stated to her my desire to move to a less expensive area so that it wouldn't be entirely necessary to live in this region and live a much more difficult lifestyle but she insisted that we stay and that she would apply to as many jobs as possible. When I tell her that I do not believe she is being realistic about her job situation, she tells me I don't understand how hard it is to get a job as a teacher and that she has had many circumstance preventing her from getting jobs (even though I've only expressed concerned about the jobs that she's NOT applying to versus the ones that she is applying to and not getting).
Am I being unreasonable? I actually don't mind her being a stay-at-home mom and I don't mind her working, but I feel like what she desires to do is unrealistic. We are able to live off of my salary but it is not easy. What do you all think?
How much more work does she do in raising the kids than you do? Is it equal or does she do a lot more?
They say that money troubles is usually the reason that most people have marriage troubles, hopefully you guys wont let money get in the way of a happy life, but i get the vibe she isnt really all that 'enthused' about working.
If teaching jobs are hard to come by, maybe she can apply in another field...you know the saying, desperate times, etc.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,715,076 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilly1224
From your screen name, I assume that you live in PG county? If so, you shouldn't have a problem, because PG county is extremely affordable.
No, it is not. Housing may be cheaper but you will probably pay more for something else such as car insurance or commuting which likely negates the reduced housing costs.
To the OP, I don't think you are wrong. Your wife is a touch unrealistic if she insists on staying in Washington DC and vicinity and staying afloat financially. especially with a new kid. I like Ruth4truth and Sixy's ideas. I also think floating moving to and working somewhere cheaper but still within shouting distance to DC like Baltimore County or Richmond is a viable idea you might be able to sell. I already know you are too sensible to even think about considering Alicant310's idea.
Back off. Listen to her. Support her...emotionally.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
