Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-14-2012, 03:45 PM
 
Location: In the city
1,581 posts, read 3,854,187 times
Reputation: 2417

Advertisements

I have a good friend who is attractive, smart and eminently dateable. But she hasn't had a relationship in a few years, principally because she wants one really badly. And I mean REALLY badly. She is constantly on dating sites, when we go out she obsesses over every waiter, bartender and passer by, thinking that he might be "the one." This, of course, puts any normal person off.

There isn't anything wrong with her except that she smacks of desperation for a relationship and thinks about it morning, noon and night. In fact, if she does get into one, I don't know how she will occupy her brain as the major thrust of her thinking will have to redirect. Predictably, she attracts men who have no interest in moving so quickly and is often thwarted in her quest for love. EVERYONE has told her to calm down and let it happen, but she can't seem to process that.

Do you know anyone like this? What advice would you give?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-14-2012, 03:50 PM
 
17,869 posts, read 21,002,282 times
Reputation: 13949
Does she have hobbies?

I know of a guy who's like this, he obsesses badly over it, and I frequently tell him the biggest reason why he can't get dates is because he's so obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship. I frequently tell him to stop thinking of every woman who passes by and tell him to concentrate on himself and stop obsessing because it's something you can't really force.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2012, 03:56 PM
 
Location: In the city
1,581 posts, read 3,854,187 times
Reputation: 2417
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog View Post
Does she have hobbies?

I know of a guy who's like this, he obsesses badly over it, and I frequently tell him the biggest reason why he can't get dates is because he's so obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship. I frequently tell him to stop thinking of every woman who passes by and tell him to concentrate on himself and stop obsessing because it's something you can't really force.

You mean, besides updating her many profiles on dating sites, Facebook, etc.? Not really anymore. We used to go out and do cultural things we both enjoyed-- ballet, symphony, plays. Now she only wants to do that if there might be a good "candidate pool" (as she calls it.) I don't hang out with her as much.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2012, 03:57 PM
 
1,293 posts, read 1,679,486 times
Reputation: 549
send her my way OP
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2012, 03:58 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,111,132 times
Reputation: 11797
Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedasusual View Post
You mean, besides updating her many profiles on dating sites, Facebook, etc.? Not really anymore. We used to go out and do cultural things we both enjoyed-- ballet, symphony, plays. Now she only wants to do that if there might be a good "candidate pool" (as she calls it.) I don't hang out with her as much.
The only reason she goes places is if she thinks she might meet someone? That's kind of crazy... I don't think I'd want to be friends with someone that obsessed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2012, 04:03 PM
 
17,869 posts, read 21,002,282 times
Reputation: 13949
Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedasusual View Post
You mean, besides updating her many profiles on dating sites, Facebook, etc.? Not really anymore. We used to go out and do cultural things we both enjoyed-- ballet, symphony, plays. Now she only wants to do that if there might be a good "candidate pool" (as she calls it.) I don't hang out with her as much.
I don't call those hobbies. I call that obsessing. My friend isn't on any pay sites, but he does the same stuff, except he has a few hobbies.

She needs to get out and see the world without it being the sole purpose of hunting for men.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2012, 04:05 PM
 
1,293 posts, read 1,679,486 times
Reputation: 549
OP I'm completely and utterly baffled by this thread


Any attractive woman can post a message on any dating site and get 50,000 responses within a day


I'm assuming she goes on a lot of dates every week but turns them all off with her attitude? I've always been baffled by women who can't find a partner. Is it just a matter of being incredibly incredibly incredibly picky (which is totally reasonable) so you have a tiny dating pool? Or is it about having a wide dating pool but not being able to keep any man because you have a psycho personality
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2012, 04:11 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,111,132 times
Reputation: 11797
Quote:
Originally Posted by brahmabull117 View Post
OP I'm completely and utterly baffled by this thread


Any attractive woman can post a message on any dating site and get 50,000 responses within a day


I'm assuming she goes on a lot of dates every week but turns them all off with her attitude? I've always been baffled by women who can't find a partner. Is it just a matter of being incredibly incredibly incredibly picky (which is totally reasonable) so you have a tiny dating pool? Or is it about having a wide dating pool but not being able to keep any man because you have a psycho personality
Yep. All single women are crazy or too picky. You nailed it. You know SOOO much about women.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2012, 04:18 PM
 
1,293 posts, read 1,679,486 times
Reputation: 549
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
Yep. All single women are crazy or too picky. You nailed it. You know SOOO much about women.

I've seen dating experiments done just on online dating sites with guys posing as fake attractive women and they get about 50,000 responses seemingly in a day. Sure, some of those guys are not attractive enough/compatible enough in terms of appearance, age, etc... and some of them are just looking to get a laid but mathematically speaking, at least a small percentage of them have to be attractive, personable men with decent jobs and normal lifestyles looking for a girlfriend. How is it so hard just to date those men until one of them wants to be exclusive?


It's gotta be 3 things

1)A woman is socially retarded and can't generate any chemistry with normal, personable guys and then turns them down because she finds them boring

2)A woman is looking for something astonishingly specific

3)She's crazy and scares off men before there is a chance for something to develop


So which is it OP?


Any attractive woman can go on 7 dates a week off any online dating site, how can you not find a partner based on that?

I am pretty confident that I could find a girlfriend with just a few dates
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-14-2012, 04:21 PM
 
1,601 posts, read 2,133,583 times
Reputation: 1381
Quote:
Originally Posted by brahmabull117 View Post
I'm assuming she goes on a lot of dates every week but turns them all off with her attitude?
Oh my word, did you just imply that a woman got rejected by a man?!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top