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Old 12-14-2012, 08:40 AM
 
132 posts, read 277,427 times
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Every year I dread going to my wife's family house for Christmas. Not because they are not nice people, they are. Or do I have any complaints about the conversation around the dining table, it's very interesting, or do I have any complaints about the town my wife's family lives in- it's great in sunny warm Florida! My beef is the sleeping arrangements.

You know those small one story ramblers built in the 1960s that are so common in Central Florida? Maybe 1000 square feet, 3 bedroom 1 1/2 baths. Well for some strange reason everyone in the extended family insists on staying in one house. Last year we had 21 people staying in the house. No one sleeps because there is noise, banging and loud conversation 22 hours a day. Also there is not enough beds for everyone so most people sleep on air mattresses or just on the floor in the living room. It's miserable. But my wife loves it! I HATE IT!

I looked into Priceline and Hotwire and we could get a three star motel room one mile away for about $40 a night and likely sleep like babies but when I suggest it my wife starts crying and acting all strange. Am I asking for too much?
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:42 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 38,564,183 times
Reputation: 42631
Quote:
Originally Posted by AHomeSeller View Post
Am I asking for too much?
No.
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:46 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 63,082,990 times
Reputation: 26596
It sounds like total mayhem and I would HATE (and I use that word extremely rarely) that arrangement too. I'm not sure why your wife reacts so strongly to the suggestion of an alternate. But, heck, both of you do your own thing and be comfortable. She can stay in the house with the mad babble of a rabble and you stay in a quiet motel a short distance away. I don't see it as a big deal and simply a logical compromise. Good luck!
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,785 posts, read 4,387,827 times
Reputation: 6464
Well...I just don't know if you're asking too much...but...

I get that sleeping is impossibile and it makes you uncomfortable with the noise and such...I feel your pain. At the same time, the idea of a full house at Christmas sounds kinda awesome to me. I look back when my mom used to have tons of people at her house for the holidays...there was this sort of excitement, a buzz in the air all the time. It WAS exciting and fun to be around so many people...you never missed out on anything, someone was always doing something...

I don't know...while I totally get where you're coming from. I understand that when on vacation, one goal is to rest. BUT, it makes your wife so happy to be immersed in family at Christmas. Let's see...it's warm in FL...guess a tent in the back yard is out...I'm sorry I don't have an amenable resolution but if your wife is set on it, maybe she can offer you something that will make up for it.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:22 AM
 
4,228 posts, read 6,565,166 times
Reputation: 5350
Ugh! I would refuse to go. Leave her at the house if she loves it. Get a hotel room for just the nights. Sleep is precious, even around the holidays.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:25 AM
 
884 posts, read 1,278,363 times
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Does your wife get any sleep during this time? If so then she has no idea what you're going through.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
25,024 posts, read 26,975,697 times
Reputation: 57440
If a hotel room is really that cheap, just book it. Say that you think it's wonderful that her family is so close, but that you need your space a bit and that you're x years old and don't want to sleep on an air mattress in the basement.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:33 AM
 
Location: A tropical island
5,188 posts, read 5,115,174 times
Reputation: 13040
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
If a hotel room is really that cheap, just book it. Say that you think it's wonderful that her family is so close, but that you need your space a bit and that you're x years old and don't want to sleep on an air mattress in the basement.
Yup. Just say it kindly and respectfully, and hopefully you'll both be happy.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:33 AM
 
177 posts, read 373,361 times
Reputation: 339
I get why it bothers you, but can you make that her Christmas present since it means so much to her? How many nights are we talking about? If it's just one or two nights, surely you can do it to keep the peace... especially if she rarely gets to spend time with her family.
I don't know, I mean, if it's really that terrible I guess you shouldn't do it. My DH and I always weigh what means more to whom before we fight about anything.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:36 AM
 
14,331 posts, read 15,471,035 times
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What have you tried to combat this? I'm a light sleeper, but I've found that ear plugs or my iPod can greatly increase my sleep quality in situations like this. I've also heard noise-cancelling headphones can help. But it's definitely hell when you can't get any sleep.

That said, your wife's inability to discuss this rationally is deeply troubling - does she greatly miss her family or has she made a lot of compromises for you and possibly sees you as not reciprocating? Because otherwise, honestly, that just seems manipulative on her part.

Other options: Get a hotel room, if only for yourself. Rent a large SUV with space to sleep in the back on an air mattress.
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