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OP, I'll go ahead and be the lone voice of support here. I understand your sadness. Your friend went from one extreme to the other and both suck. It's sad to be a repressed fundie who doesn't enjoy and appreciate sex, and it's sad to be an oversexed weirdo caught in a morass of pornographic casual sex. It's best to be in a committed, fullfilling sexual relationship. Your friend will probably catch on some day.. most do.
Glad you agree, it's how I feel exactly. I'm sure he'll find a worthwhile girl if he just holds out......
I have a guy friend of mine who waited till very recently to lose his virginity. He's 25. He's not unattractive or socially awkward, just a deer in headlights when it comes to sex.
When we met last year, he was extremely weird when it came to sex (he actually went home when I threw on Game of Thrones for a party I invited him to, the sex scenes freaked him out), mostly because his parents suck and tried to shield him from sex as much as possible, thinking it was going to turn him away from family/studies (they're very puritanical and conservative). After deciding he was tired of being married to his right hand (trust me, he was), he left his parents house and moved to NYC. This was in May. Despite his inadequacies with women and sex, he is otherwise a big sweetie, very respectful and is a perfect gentleman, though he often put women on the pedestal.
I just recently found out that not only has he lost his virginity.....he's juggling about THREE separate partners (that I know of), has been invited to and actually GOES to crazy fetish parties with weird people and has basically stopped searching hard for a girlfriend because he's more or less satisfied with having friends with benefits. That's gross.
I'm also starting to see that even though he's still a gentleman, he does not have the same respect for women. This was the kind of guy that would actually take his time when communicating he was attracted to someone, even though that never really worked out for him.
This is no way for someone to be introduced to sex. He hasn't even had girlfriend yet, and I was kind of heartbroken to hear him say "screw relationships, sex is awesome". A nice guy like him shouldn't be on the path to becoming a sleazeball, he should be keeping himself pure and reserved until he finds a good girl to match up with. He can leave the sleazy **** for people like us who have had enough bad experiences with sex that screwed us up.
I tried to talk to him about this, but he actually became quite miffed when I pressed him to stop with the sex and just hold out for a decent girl, not someone who's willing to shag him just for the sake of fun. I have a feeling all of this sex is going to make him a bad person.
Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kinda sounds like he took his time with you. No connection so he moved on.
Glad you agree, it's how I feel exactly. I'm sure he'll find a worthwhile girl if he just holds out......
Hopefully... I get you having a concern for your friend here. People (most of the posters on this thread included) have the most retarded views about sex these days. Sex is analogous to an intoxicating substance ... it can be used in both healthy and unhealthy ways. Doing what your friend is apparently doing is akin to drug abuse. (I'm not making a moral argument here. I'm talking about maintaning good emotional health.) I get why it concerns you. It's like watching a friend become a drunk.
Hopefully... I get you having a concern for your friend here. People (most of the posters on this thread included) have the most retarded views about sex these days. Sex is analogous to an intoxicating substance ... it can be used in both healthy and unhealthy ways. Doing what your friend is apparently doing is akin to drug abuse. (I'm not making a moral argument here. I'm talking about maintaning good emotional health.) I get why it concerns you. It's like watching a friend become a drunk.
Exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Senno
Kinda sounds like he took his time with you. No connection so he moved on.
Sorry, but I only "shag" someone I have sexual/emotional attraction to, not because I want to throw out a bone. I have feelings to. I don't have to want to "shag" someone in order to be friends with him. I'm assuming all the "shag him" posts are all typical "nice guys" that never get laid and feel they're owed sex because they're so "nice". :P
Also, not trying to control his sex life, I'm just concerned. I've seen too many decent guys turn into jerks over stuff like this, and I'd hate to see such a saint get "corrupted" for lack of a better term. Not enough good men in the world as it is, I'm sure a decent woman will appreciate him a lot more if he drops this sudden burst of sex and keeps himself at least somewhat reserved....sex isn't really a big deal anyway and Im sure if he waited till 25 he can wait a little longer for a girl that's worth more than fooling around with.....save those women for the guys that don't have standards for their dick.
Also, I doubt an unwanted baby or a STD is benifical at age 25, something sex-newbs are rather suspectible to. :P
^^^Sex isn't really that big a deal TO YOU.
He may be feeling the exact opposite.
YOU are uncomfortable with sexuality and exploring. He is not.
Don't judge him by your own missionary-position standards. If he's a good guy before he has lots of sex, he'll be an even better guy after!
YOU are uncomfortable with sexuality and exploring. He is not.
Don't judge him by your own missionary-position standards. If he's a good guy before he has lots of sex, he'll be an even better guy after!
It isn't a big deal at all, It's only a big deal when you personally make it a big deal. I'm just hoping he comes to realize that before his dick gets him into trouble.
Mind elaborating on how all of these vices will make him a better person? Seems like the opposite is happening.
And no, I'm not going to have sex with him. He's my friend, but I'm not into him like that. I'm also taken. :P
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJTiesto
Huh? He's a grown man, let him do whatever the hell he wants
Exactly. If you're not interested in him in a romantic way, don't worry about his personal business. It's probably just a phase anyway and he's working out his boy-to-man transition issues. If you really do have a thing for him and just aren't being honest with yourself regardless of your current relationship status, well then, that's something else entirely.
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